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    Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

    I am a Northern Tradition Pagan. I was raised as a Christian as many of us were. My son who is 15 has shown an interest in the Pagan traditions. His mother (my EX) however is "Born Again" Christian, needless to say she does not approve of any of it. I want to encourage him to find his own path but I don't want his mom to freak out. I have tried to discuss this her and there is no changing her mind.

    Ideas??

    Thanks in advance,
    Jason

    #2
    Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

    Personally, I'd say it's not his or your problem if she freaks out. It's not her choice to make, but his, and ni matter what he decides to go with, having the knowledge and the opportunity to decide for himself is key.

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      #3
      Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

      Originally posted by unseen1 View Post
      I am a Northern Tradition Pagan. I was raised as a Christian as many of us were. My son who is 15 has shown an interest in the Pagan traditions. His mother (my EX) however is "Born Again" Christian, needless to say she does not approve of any of it. I want to encourage him to find his own path but I don't want his mom to freak out. I have tried to discuss this her and there is no changing her mind.

      Ideas??

      Thanks in advance,
      Jason
      When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

      Unless you want to use your kid in as a pawn in a power struggle (which DOES NOT seem to be the case based on your post), when with the EX, he respect her rules, when with you, he respect your rules.

      I, personally, don't see much virtue in destroying family ties in the name of freedom of religion. Others will disagree.

      It's up to you... but, even more so, it is up to the child.
      Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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        #4
        Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

        If this kid lives under her roof,and being a minor he may have to keep his beliefs to himself..I myself at the age of 13 told my mother I would NOT attend church,and she called the cops on me,and they told me if I did not obey my mother,I would end up in Juvvy..Juvenile Detention. Now that was many years ago,but there are still places that would take that stand..so grain of salt,and don't rock the boat for now..
        MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

        all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
        NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
        don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




        sigpic

        my new page here,let me know what you think.


        nothing but the shadow of what was

        witchvox
        http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

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          #5
          Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

          This is a difficult one: luckily, I have no personal experience but that's not going to stop me giving advice!

          There are some people you can't talk to. It could be worse: you ex might have converted to Islam. There are situations where the only advice you can give to a teenager is "don't talk about it". He may not feel happy about that approach, for 15-year-olds are often less tolerant of evasion. If so, put it to him that talking to his mother about religion is only going to make her unhappy; does he really want to do that? If she wants him to go to church with her, where's the harm? If the pope could pray silently alongside imams in a mosque, then a pagan can do the same in a church. In your son's case, at least he has you to talk to, unlike many teens who have no-one. He can read your books and, if he becomes a pagan, practice in your home.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

            Also might mention for your ex's understanding,being forced to attend a church does not help if you wish the kid to not really learn to hate said church..
            MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

            all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
            NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
            don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




            sigpic

            my new page here,let me know what you think.


            nothing but the shadow of what was

            witchvox
            http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

              Thanks,

              I have pretty much told him to keep it to himself when at his mom's house. When at my home I let him ask what he wants and explain as best I can. Things are stable with her now and yes I would like it to stay that way. I want him to feel he can his own choices when it comes to this.

              Just looking for insight..

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                I think this "If the pope could pray silently alongside imams in a mosque, then a pagan can do the same in a church." is a highly undervalued skill in our society as a whole. Your child is older than mine, but as a parent, I think its something we would all (regardless of our religion) benefit from cultivating in our children. But knowing how incredibly odious and even mentally and spiritually abusive some of those churches can be, I don't think he should be *made* to go to church at his age--how much you and he are willing to rock the boat on this one is something you will need to decide together. He's of an age though where (IMO) he should be allowed to make his own decisions in this regard...but every family is different in how it may be best to juggle issues like this. I luck out--hubby is also Pagan and my family just didn't think my religious differences were important in our family dynamics...and we live far enough from the in-laws that we don't have to worry there. Practically speaking, how much actual exploration he can do will largely depend on which of you is the main custodial parent.
                Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                sigpic

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                  #9
                  Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                  You should explain to her that if she forces her son into certain beliefs neither his heart or mind will follow them. Specially at his age where adoslescents begin to develop their spirituality more deeply. Does she want her son to merely fake belief? To smile insincerely? If not, then she should try to talk to him about her beliefs but by no means discourage him from looking into other spiritual practices.

                  If Christianity is what he feels is right then he will seek it himself. Otherwise, he will just pretend to believe but when he gets old enough will abandon it.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                    Originally posted by Archifenix View Post
                    You should explain to her that if she forces her son into certain beliefs neither his heart or mind will follow them. Specially at his age where adoslescents begin to develop their spirituality more deeply. Does she want her son to merely fake belief? To smile insincerely? If not, then she should try to talk to him about her beliefs but by no means discourage him from looking into other spiritual practices.

                    If Christianity is what he feels is right then he will seek it himself. Otherwise, he will just pretend to believe but when he gets old enough will abandon it.
                    TBH, some people don't care about this. They just want obedience.
                    Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                    sigpic

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                      #11
                      Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                      Just how my Mother was concerning religion Thal...Go to church no matter how you feel..it did NOT make me want to go to church and may have allowed me to explore Pagan beliefs..
                      MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                      all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                      NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                      don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                      sigpic

                      my new page here,let me know what you think.


                      nothing but the shadow of what was

                      witchvox
                      http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                        Originally posted by anunitu View Post
                        Just how my Mother was concerning religion Thal...Go to church no matter how you feel..it did NOT make me want to go to church and may have allowed me to explore Pagan beliefs..
                        Oh, definatately...I'm not saying its a successful practice! But a 15 year old, on average, isn't terribly skilled at paitence and waiting it out.
                        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                        sigpic

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                          Perhaps the kid needs to decide himself which path to go... After all, at this age he's capable of making his own religious choices.
                          "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



                          Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

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                            #14
                            Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                            Remember the US can be VERY backward about kids rights Gleb..even though we have religious liberty,parents can still force religious beliefs on children until they turn 18,OR become emancipated youth,and that puts you even at 15 on your own. Each state has its own laws on kids age of independence.
                            MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                            all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                            NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                            don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                            sigpic

                            my new page here,let me know what you think.


                            nothing but the shadow of what was

                            witchvox
                            http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Question on sons worship of the old gods when his mother does not approve.

                              Originally posted by anunitu View Post
                              Remember the US can be VERY backward about kids rights Gleb..even though we have religious liberty,parents can still force religious beliefs on children until they turn 18,OR become emancipated youth,and that puts you even at 15 on your own. Each state has its own laws on kids age of independence.
                              Strange... In this case it complicates the case a bit. I suggest the OP to follow his inner voice. It never lies.
                              "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



                              Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

                              Comment

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