Your partner's response to your path?

[OpenHands]

For those who have (or who have had) a significant other in their life, I'm curious about how they have responded to your choice of spirituality.

Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started? Is your partner also *insert path* or something else? Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice? Are they supportive? Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

[thalassa]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]
Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?[/quote]

I was Pagan well before I met my significant other.

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

My spouse is also Pagan (albeit of a different flavor than myself) though much of our outlook is similar.

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice? Are they supportive? Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

No, yes and my only complaint is that I wish he was more helpful with planning the *hands on* stuff in terms of family rituals.

[OpenHands]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

[quote author=thalassa link=topic=1324.msg26297#msg26297 date=1293928657]
I was Pagan well before I met my significant other.

My spouse is also Pagan (albeit of a different flavor than myself) though much of our outlook is similar.

No, yes and my only complaint is that I wish he was more helpful with planning the *hands on* stuff in terms of family rituals.
[/quote]

Oh wow, I'm rather envious that you two are not only so compatible, but that you get to practice together too. To have family rituals must be a special experience, even if you are a bit stuck with doing the hands-on stuff yourself.

[calfhill]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

In a way, we found Paganism together. We were both, secretly, researching "alternative" religions online. One night at the pub, she was across the bar talking to a Satanist friend of ours. She knew I hadn't been a practicing Mormon for years, but she always likes (yes, present tense) to get her dig in. I heard her tell Guy, "He's such a Mormon."
I, obviously a little intoxicated or I would not have responded such, said, "You don't know what I am. I'm more Pagan than anything."
She came flying around the bar to me and said, "Do you know what you just said?" "yes."
She then explained that she had been quietly studying Paganism as well.
Our paths have grown somewhat apart over the years, and separation hasn't helped, but our paths have never been one of our issues.

[Dufonce]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?

when we met I was practicing slightly fluffy. I kept it mostly quiet though I just didn't know much.

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

When we met she was a diehard Christian, now she's on this forum as Yukanaoe.

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice?

When we met it started to become a problem, we couldn't make our relationship more serious unless I put it all behind me. I got rid of everything that linked me to my path and hopped off veering towards hers to walk with her. I even ended up breaking my bond with my spirit guide because she was so terrified of it, not that she felt it being a problem but just fear for what it was.

Are they supportive?

in the beginning she was thinking I was in the grasp of the devil. man has she changed. lol

Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

current? yes! through my patience and discussing things with her, she sorted out her own beliefs which any doubts she had through Christianity were solved by what we discussed. and she quietly started reading up on things related to what my beliefs were. and one day she came out to me and we talked about it more in depth. I helped her let go of the Christian "brainwashing" and gain free thought.

[Sithis]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?

I was interested but not on my current path before meeting her. I was an angry agnostic/atheist type of person looking for something more.

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

We're similar. I'm more a shaman while she's Wiccan, but we're both very Celtic.

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice?

No.

Are they supportive?

She taught me a lot of what I know and she's still teaching, so I'd say so.

Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

I'm quite pleased.

[Medusa]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?

I have been a Laveyan Satanist since the age of 15. He met me on a Marilyn Manson forum knowing full good and well what I was. As I did with him. Oddly our differences in religions might have been a spark of curiosity that got us here. That and I have boobies.

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

Oh hell no. He's Muslim. Fundamentalist. Not like some softy religious person. But a full fledged holly roller.

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice?

Yes. But not from him. He's a firm believer in letting Allah do his thing and not meddle in other people's personal relationships (or non) with Allah. It was from me that I had the problems. I was trying to be something for him, which is never a good idea. I took a good year or so and was in to the idea of reverting to Islam. As I found things I really liked about the religion. And I still do. I just don't have a believing bone in my body. This is me. Take it or leave it. I guess he took it.

Are they supportive?

Yes but in a very distant way. I think for both of us we don't meddle in each other's faith. We don't ignore it. If he had issues I am sure he would talk to another Muslim I guess. When I have issues I seek out advice from Satanists or...look within myself. We are supportive in the fact that we have actively learned of the other's religion. We are in a place where we can be respectful. But also casual with each other about our religions. We joke etc. It's just..who we are.

Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

I am happy. Because of the nature of our religions, his religion will always be the more dominant one in our relationship. But thankfully my religion allows me to make my way despite that issue. I don't feel harassed or anything like that. I know he would love more than anything for me to be a Muslim. And I know the intent is not just 'for him'. But because he truly loves me. And because he truly loves me, he would also never ask me to be something I am not. Nor I of him.

[CttCJim]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]
Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?
[/quote]
When we met, courted and married, we were both somewhat lazy eclectic pagans. We were married for a year or two before I was inspired to find Sekhmet.

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

Sekhmet is a pretty hardcore deity to devote oneself to, but my own search inspired her to solidify her own path. She follows Norse deities now.

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice? Are they supportive?

She has been amazingly supportive and understanding. There was some apprehension initially - it's not every day your husband declares allegiance to (ostensibly) a Goddess of Vengeance. But once she understood both the balance of my beliefs and the deepness of my commitment, she was completely helpful. She's even on occasion volunteered an offering or a prayer at my altar when I was too busy out providing for our family to observe a holiday.

Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

Actually, I sort of like that we have different beliefs. It helps bring a balanced perspective to our home, and at the same time gives me something that, in our small and very shared home, is uniquely mine.

[thalassa]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26317#msg26317 date=1293937783]
Oh wow, I'm rather envious that you two are not only so compatible, but that you get to practice together too. To have family rituals must be a special experience, even if you are a bit stuck with doing the hands-on stuff yourself.
[/quote]

oh, I fully admit that I got super lucky...and I refuse to count how many jerks I went thru before I stumbled across him, of many religious outlooks--differing and similar, including an uwittingly brief foray as a fundie's rebellion against his parents :

[OpenHands]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Thanks for all of the responses, guys. It's always interesting to hear about how other people sort out those potentially messy dynamics of religion/spirituality in a relationship. I wanted to make some replies so I hope this format is OK, I didn't spot anything in the posting format guidelines to the contrary.

Calfhill-

In a way, we found Paganism together. We were both, secretly, researching "alternative" religions online.

How serendipitous that you were both researching paganism at the same time!

Dufonce-

When we met she was a diehard Christian, now she's on this forum as Yukanaoe.

Oh yikes, definitely a rocky start. Sounds like you both worked hard to resolve the issues considering that your partner is currently a member of this board.

Sithis-

We're similar. I'm more a shaman while she's Wiccan, but we're both very Celtic.

Another compatible couple, that's great! Since you both have strong Celtic influences, do you ever practice together or is that all kept strictly separate?

[OpenHands]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Medusa-

He's a firm believer in letting Allah do his thing and not meddle in other people's personal relationships (or non) with Allah.

Interesting combinations of beliefs in a relationship, wow. I'm honestly amazed that your partner is so OK with your choice considering how devout he is, that's great. How does his family respond to you being a Satanist, out of curiosity?

CttCJim-

Actually, I sort of like that we have different beliefs. It helps bring a balanced perspective to our home, and at the same time gives me something that, in our small and very shared home, is uniquely mine.

I hadn't ever thought of two different religions in a home bringing balance, but it does make sense provided that at least some of the core values are the same and both parties are openminded.

[Raphaeline]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]
For those who have (or who have had) a significant other in their life, I'm curious about how they have responded to your choice of spirituality.

Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?
[/quote]

I was far more eclectic when he met me, but I was Pagan. I was a Witch, interested in Hinduism when I first met him.

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

When we met, he wasn't religious or spiritual at all. I guess my religious views sparked his interest, and for a while he identified with Heathenism because he felt a connection to Norse gods. However, he currently is not claiming to BE a Heathen; I think he's just always going to be agnostic.

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice? Are they supportive? Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

A lot of the time, I wish he was a Pagan, too. I wouldn't even be picky over which Pagan path... it would just be nice to have the whole family be able to worship and practice together - right now, it's just Jack observing while I sacrifice to Dionysos. Dark doesn't mind observing with me sometimes, and we have spiritual holidays together, but it takes away from the occasion when I know he's participating only to the point of listening to me talk. He is totally supportive of me, and I think he identifies as Pagan when asked simply because he's ... philosophically Pagan. Just not a practicing one. Or something. We don't talk much about it. I don't think he knows how he feels about it himself.

[Sithis]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Another compatible couple, that's great! Since you both have strong Celtic influences, do you ever practice together or is that all kept strictly separate?

She's in college and I'm trying to get out of my podunk hellhole of a high school. We've never done any rituals together due to lack of ability to do so, but I'm not opposed to the idea.

[yukanaoe]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started?

I was Christian when i first met Dufonce and he converted over for me. i just recently converted to paganism

Is your partner also *insert path* or something else?

he is also pagan

Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice?

i had to over some some 'brainwashing" to become completely comfortable. even tho i knew it was right for me. the magic was expecially difficult for me to "clean the fear out of my head" lol

Are they supportive?

lol he was the one to help me see.... so yeah...

Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?

i'm extremely happy i'm so glad dufonce took his time in introducing me to this path.. that he didnt give up on me cause i'm sure i was very stubborn. i can see now that my beliefs always were pagan... i just had to get over the fear of what i was taught all my life.

[FantasyWitch]

Re: Your partner's response to your path?

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]
Were you *insert path* before you met them or did you convert after the relationship started? [/quote]

I was pagan before I met him yeah, and pagan while we were friends before we got together.

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]Is your partner also *insert path* or something else? [/quote]

He is agnostic. I think he would like to believe in something, but he doesn't.

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580] Do/did you experience any difficulties over your choice? [/quote]

Nah. I'm currently an atheistic pagan and he doesn't bother either way. As long as I am happy.

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]Are they supportive? [/quote]

He doesn't care, which suits me fine.

[quote author=OpenHands link=topic=1324.msg26295#msg26295 date=1293925580]Are you happy with the current dynamics or do you wish their response was different?
[/quote]

I would like him to know more about paganism, but he isn't bothered so I'm not going to push him. Besides he gives me space to study and look at new stuff without interference. That's a great gift.