I keep trying to think about how this journey really started for me, and to be honest, I think it started back in 2011 when my dog died. While that might sound weird, just stay with me.
When I got the call that she was very critically ill, I remember wondering if dogs went to heaven. I tried to imagine her there, and it just wasn't working for me. The image felt forced and wrong. When we got to the vet's office, and found out she had already passed away, my earth shattered. When they asked me what I wanted to do with her body, my decision was swift and certain. I wanted her cremated and placed in an eco-friendly biodegradable urn. I imagined her ashes giving life to the tree that would in turn give life to the world. And that's exactly what I did. She helped give life to an amazing Japanese maple tree that gives me great joy to see.
The image stayed with me. Years passed and the loss of two of my unborn children seemed to cement some issues I was having with my Christian upbringing. I bought a book on Paganism that I found interesting, but did not invest a lot of time in.
Then Samhain came up this year. I felt suddenly drawn back to Paganism. I felt strongly drawn to the idea that we, that nature, that everything is somehow connected. I became certain that I truly do reject the things I was taught about religion as a child. I have become certain that I am ruled only by the energy that runs through me and connects me to the earth.
I am so happy to be here and am feeling that I have finally found myself. I still have a LOT to learn, but I finally feel peace.
When I got the call that she was very critically ill, I remember wondering if dogs went to heaven. I tried to imagine her there, and it just wasn't working for me. The image felt forced and wrong. When we got to the vet's office, and found out she had already passed away, my earth shattered. When they asked me what I wanted to do with her body, my decision was swift and certain. I wanted her cremated and placed in an eco-friendly biodegradable urn. I imagined her ashes giving life to the tree that would in turn give life to the world. And that's exactly what I did. She helped give life to an amazing Japanese maple tree that gives me great joy to see.
The image stayed with me. Years passed and the loss of two of my unborn children seemed to cement some issues I was having with my Christian upbringing. I bought a book on Paganism that I found interesting, but did not invest a lot of time in.
Then Samhain came up this year. I felt suddenly drawn back to Paganism. I felt strongly drawn to the idea that we, that nature, that everything is somehow connected. I became certain that I truly do reject the things I was taught about religion as a child. I have become certain that I am ruled only by the energy that runs through me and connects me to the earth.
I am so happy to be here and am feeling that I have finally found myself. I still have a LOT to learn, but I finally feel peace.
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