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In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

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    In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

    Hello, everyone.

    I'll admit, I'm not even sure where to start or why I made an account here. It's an interesting turn of events, and definitely a strange shift in my mindset. To be here. In a place like this. Saying hi to a bunch of people I don't know. Why? Well.. interesting story.

    I grew up Wiccan, for the most part. I remember taking a road trip with my dad when I was real young, not even into my teens. We turned the lights out after my dad and I mused over Job in the bible we'd found in the nightstand. I guess he'd found something I said pretty profound, taking it in and wondering how a god would allow something like what happened to Job to occur because, that night, he asked if I wanted to learn magick. I also remember around a similar time, my mom's brother coming out to visit us with his family. They were to baptize his son. My mom asked me to get baptized and I refused. I waited in the car until it was demanded that I go into the church. I remember attending a Sunday school class and just looking on blankly. No appeal.

    Of course I said yes! What ten year old* wouldn't?

    I didn't realize it at the time, but I spent seven years under his tutelage. I didn't know it at the time, probably because I didn't really know the guy, but my dad turned out to be a pretty powerful Wiccan. Unfortunately, he'd made some big mistakes that backfired on him. Mistakes that myself and my coven, of which he was an in-and-out member, had to deal with later. That's a story for another day.

    My time spent as a practicing pagan was measured in years, not including my time in "training".

    Over time, I grew jaded. My dad, nearing his death, converted to christianity and then he died. My best friend died. My grandfather died - a death I took rather hard because it was a decision that I had to make. I was angry, and boy oh boy, was my rage practically divine. I suddenly understood the intimately cruel things a god can do, and over time I began to even do some of them myself. I became an atheist and vehemently raged against every religion that existed anywhere, ever. Even my own. I never considered myself a Wiccan per se, I was more of a "This works, I'll use it. This doesn't, toss it" kind of pagan. I took from Wicca, Druidry, Shamanism and many other "paths" and turned them into my own way of doing things, and my own belief system. I taught several others what I did, how I did it and what I believed. But for about 16 years, I was an atheist. I perused things like atheistic Satanism, which are philosophies that I still traverse and adhere to. I leaned into Asatru a bit, but only because it felt like it brought the memory of those who had died a little closer to me.

    Then.. something happened. Desperation, maybe? Who knows. Either way, about a week ago, I cast my first spell in nearly 20 years. With that, I think the levy must have cracked because I'm suddenly very interested in picking up where I left off.

    I'm still skittish, though. Wounded animals always are.

    So here I am. Hello, everyone. Let's get down to business, shall we?

    *I was probably younger than that. I'm not 100% sure.
    Last edited by WickedWicka; 27 Feb 2018, 07:14.

    #2
    Re: In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

    WELCOME!!!

    Please leave your sanity at the front desk. You won't be needing it here.
    life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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      #3
      Re: In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

      Sit yourself down and here is some brew,and heres your sign(Jeff Fox worthy joke)

      Actually from this guy.
      Last edited by anunitu; 27 Feb 2018, 07:42.
      MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

      all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
      NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
      don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




      sigpic

      my new page here,let me know what you think.


      nothing but the shadow of what was

      witchvox
      http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

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        #4
        Re: In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

        Hey, welcome!

        Sounds like you're a pragmatist. The world needs more of those.
        Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

          Is there any other way to be?

          Comment


            #6
            Re: In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

            Originally posted by WickedWicka View Post
            Is there any other way to be?
            Yeah... You could be an idealist, but then you'd only make sense at odd intervals...
            Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: In from the cold and my feet are muddy.

              Welcome to the forum! Hope you have a great stay!
              Anubisa

              Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

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