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Freaked out, in a good way?

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    #1

    Freaked out, in a good way?

    Do any of you ever get this? Like when you're starting something new and you're totally excited, but also really nervous at the same time and also even a bit terrified that it's going to all *poof* blow up in your face?

    I'm starting my new job tomorrow and I'm really stoked about it and I've been prepping on and off all weekend (I got a list of stuff we're working on), and I know that it has the potential to be really awesome but I still have that nagging little voice in my head being like "what if you just fail? Or what if it's too good to be true?"

    There's also this guy, and we've been getting closer. And it's TOTALLY freaking me out, in a good way. The thing is, I don't really know where it's going and I'm not even -sure- I want it to go anywhere (I think I'm more into a friends with benefits sort of thing...I just have a lot going on right now), and I think that's better for him now too (he's in the army, it's kind of demanding), and plus it's long-distance. Anyway it's all totally going well and it's the right thing for what we both want right now, and it's really nice to text and talk on the phone and just feel like you have someone there, but all my relationships with guys, no matter what level of seriousness, blow up in a very ugly way and I'm really worried that liking him and being involved with him will lead nowhere good, just because I fail at men in general. But I think I'm also being totally irrational and I should just take it for what it is and enjoy it?

    Anyway anyone else get this?
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    #2
    Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

    Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post

    There's also this guy, and we've been getting closer. And it's TOTALLY freaking me out, in a good way. The thing is, I don't really know where it's going and I'm not even -sure- I want it to go anywhere (I think I'm more into a friends with benefits sort of thing...I just have a lot going on right now), and I think that's better for him now too (he's in the army, it's kind of demanding), and plus it's long-distance. Anyway it's all totally going well and it's the right thing for what we both want right now, and it's really nice to text and talk on the phone and just feel like you have someone there, but all my relationships with guys, no matter what level of seriousness, blow up in a very ugly way and I'm really worried that liking him and being involved with him will lead nowhere good, just because I fail at men in general. But I think I'm also being totally irrational and I should just take it for what it is and enjoy it?

    Anyway anyone else get this?
    This second part could've almost been written by me. I have just started seeing a guy who only lives about 30 miles away but, as neither of us drive, it is difficult to see each other much. At the moment I don't know where it is going, or even where I want it to go but, like you, because of past experience I feel like I am just waiting for it to all go wrong. Apparently the trick is to 'go with the flow', enjoy it for what it is and try not to expect too much. Easier said than done though isn't it?!
    http://thefeministpagan.blogspot.co.uk/

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      #3
      Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

      Originally posted by shadow1982 View Post
      This second part could've almost been written by me. I have just started seeing a guy who only lives about 30 miles away but, as neither of us drive, it is difficult to see each other much. At the moment I don't know where it is going, or even where I want it to go but, like you, because of past experience I feel like I am just waiting for it to all go wrong. Apparently the trick is to 'go with the flow', enjoy it for what it is and try not to expect too much. Easier said than done though isn't it?!
      TOTALLY easier said than done.

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        #4
        Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

        The first part, yeah every time i start a new job, especially after a period of unemployment. The worst part is the fear that it won't work out and you will be back where you were. Stick with it though, it goes after the first day or so and good luck tomorrow too, hope it goes great for you!
        As for the guy part, i can't really advise you on that, though the "Go with the flow" worked for me and Sasha. We met online and She was living in Inverkeithing (just across the Forth bridge from Edinburgh) and i was in Derby. I drove up to see her one night, after work, because she was ill and wanted to be sure she was okay. So on a whim i drove 6.5 hours, 320 miles, to see her and have not looked back. i just went with the flow Sometimes just going with the flow works.
        Okay, so you have bad luck with us guys too, most of us are jerks anyhow (except me, obviously :P) eventually you will stumble on someone that works for you, thinks like you and is perfectly happy with you, so don't be so negative about yourself

        M
        In the end, only you know if you were right or wrong, so tolerate others beliefs, no matter how wrong, they may be right...

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          #5
          Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

          Oops replied to the wrong thread!

          But thanks for the words of encouragement. And yeah I have dated a lot of jerks, and I think he's not a jerk but I'm not sure about long-term still because of my situation and also his. He's going away soon for a while, and then he might get stationed somewhere else.

          ---------- Post added 02-07-2011 at 12:10 AM ---------- Previous post was 02-06-2011 at 11:58 PM ----------

          I guess I just take a lot of negative stuff that happens (a couple of failed jobs, many failed relationships, a couple of failed friendships) really hard because I'm more the kind of person that wants to take responsibility for all my actions. I hate the "victim" mentality a lot and I hate it when people can't see their role in things that happen, but the flip side of that is that when something goes wrong I just blame myself entirely. And my friends and family have told me so much that I've just made some bad choices in who I hung out with and sometimes jobs just aren't a good fit (which I guess is true because -most- of my bosses loved me), but I dunno. I feel like I failed and it's my fault.

          And I'm feeling a lot better about myself now and I'm trying really hard to be more forgiving with myself, but it's a rough process.

          Comment

            #6
            Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

            Glad to hear it, keep yourself positive. You are only responsible for what you do. Most of the time, bad luck with jobs is just a decision that was made. What they do to you, that causes you to leave the job is not your fault. I have been in jobs that i took purely as a way to make more money, hated every minute and made a number of bad job decisions too. They were my fault, the bosses "arranging" for me to leave was not

            you are, therefore only responsible for the decisions you make and the actions you take, if the decision makes someone else make another decision, that is not your fault, even if it is your problem. does that make sense?

            Anyhow good luck again with the new job and even more so with your fledgling relationship

            M
            In the end, only you know if you were right or wrong, so tolerate others beliefs, no matter how wrong, they may be right...

            Comment

              #7
              Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

              Well my first internship day was fantastic and I think it will go really well!

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                #8
                Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

                I can relate as far as the job is concerned!
                I have just been asked by my mentor Craig to be his intern for his next exhibition. It is a petrifying yet incredibly exciting. It is the best idea just to go with it I think, because as it stands worrying won't help. X
                "You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"- CS Lewis


                https://www.facebook.com/KimberlyHagenART

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                  #9
                  Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

                  Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post
                  Well my first internship day was fantastic and I think it will go really well!
                  Glad it went well for you that hurdle is over now, so hopefully no more worries?

                  M
                  In the end, only you know if you were right or wrong, so tolerate others beliefs, no matter how wrong, they may be right...

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

                    Yeah I'm a lot more chilled out now. It's not a paid internship but it's doing stuff I really love and want experience in so I really want to excel and also it's a good networking opportunity.

                    Now I just have to figure out the boy stuff...or just learn to be more patient and go with the flow (probably the better option).

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                      #11
                      Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

                      More power to you, i am sure you will do fine

                      as for the guy, best to go with the flow i think, takes the pressure off you both

                      M
                      In the end, only you know if you were right or wrong, so tolerate others beliefs, no matter how wrong, they may be right...

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: Freaked out, in a good way?

                        Yeah I don't want to pressure anybody (not myself either) and I don't even KNOW what I want. In a way I just feel so not ready for a relationship at all. An attitude that (in the cruel manner of the universe) is actually getting me a lot of attention from men.

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