New to this path... any advice?

[Texanserb]

Hi. A little background:

I grew up in a Christian family. So much so. My grandfather is a Bible pastor, over half of my uncles are ordained pastors, as is my Dad. My parents are missionaries overseas, and most of my extended family are as well.

I used to be very "Christian". By that, I just mean that I used to believe in it. But I never completely understood. And the more I studied other religions, the more I saw how similar they are. Even within stuff like paganism and the craft.

But... I was always told that it's "just how it is" and that Christianity was the right path.

I started to study other paths, and found that the ideologies of paganism, particularly Wicca and/or Druidism, appeal to me. I believe in the duality of everything, in nature as well as in the spiritual world. I am in college, 19 years old... and so am now able to truly be free and study and believe what I wish to.

I'm not sure if I believe in deities, but I believe in spirits. If that makes sense. I view deities as these beings that are above everything else and control the world... but spirits and spiritual beings are just like human beings and animals and such... but in a different form. I believe in energies and when it comes to using the spirits to change things, it's more of requesting them to use what they are capable of in order to benefit me, and then I use what I'm capable of to benefit them. More of a "friendship" or mutual beneficiaries and being in tune with everything around me than praising and worshipping deities. And that perhaps what a lot of those "deities" are are actually just those spiritual beings that are more "present" than others.

Anyways, like I said, I'm new to this. I've really only been extensively studying this for the past couple of months. But the more I read... the more it feels "right". I'm not completely alone in the journey though, I have a friend who is also wanting to be pagan. She is far more "liberal" than I am... I prefer to be more traditional with it. Like for me, I really want to spend the year and a day studying and learning as much as I can before "initiating" myself into wanting to follow this path and completely change my life around. I think that people have to KNOW what they're getting into before they get into it. But then, my friend just wants to go straight into the rituals and rites and such. Our last two attempts (before I started really studying this) were... well... interesting. Nothing really happened, and they were VERY clumsy and not quite right.

But... yeah. I don't know.

Any advice? Any recommended reading or even just some advice on how to make this a part of my life without letting everyone know? I am not ashamed of this, but I am living in a VERY Christian area of Texas, and with my family beliefs what they are, I would just prefer to have this be under the rug... for now at least. So... yeah. Any thoughts?

[habbalah]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

I see that you're already studying, which is great. Read everything you can get your hands on. There are some great threads on this board about different paths as well. Ask questions of the members-we are fortunate to a have a mixed community of fine minds here. It's all right if you're not feeling up to coming out of the broom closet yet. You can make your spirituality a part of your life without waving the flag from the rooftops. Just taking the time to pray or speak to your Guardians or do your rituals makes it a part of your life.

You may want to suggest to your friend to slow down, though.

[Texanserb]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it.

I am trying to read everything I can, it's just hard when I'm a poor college student in a very Christian area. At least the school I go to is a state school, not a Christian school. But going through the various school organizations, all are Christian in some form or another. Whether that be Baptists, Catholic, Lutheran, or whatever. Not even any Islamic or Hindu... let alone Pagan. So... that makes it hard. But yeah, I read everything I can get, try to find stuff online... try to learn as much as I can.

As for my friend... trying to tell her to slow down is like trying to tell a fish to stop swimming. *rolls eyes* It's her personality type... she has very little patience. We've only been "at this" for a few months (we really started around Samhein 2011, well... we didn't do any ritual or anything, but it's where we really started talking about it), and she's already trying to figure out her magical name and all. I understand that it's a personal decision, and who knows? Maybe she has done all the research and meditation. I can't speak for her on that. I would just prefer her to go a bit slower. Just like in the physical (for us) world, the spiritual world can have traps and snares and can lead to danger (not necessarily evil... but danger... like a cliff (danger) vs a murderer (evil)) if you're not careful. (my views mind you).

[Dez]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Hey Texanserb, and welcome to the forum.

My father is the equivalent of a youth pastor in other denominations, and I have extended family who are VIPs, write books, have run church schools, etc, etc. it can be very stressful, and I think you'll find quite a few people on here who understand that, as well as reasons to be tactful about one's beliefs.

As for your friend, I know people with that sort of exuberance! Unfortunately, it can sometimes burn out just as easily. Not everyone who believes in some sort of pagan path practices magic, and even with those who do, there are many forms. Not everything out there is credible, either.

Whatever the case, good luck!

As for how your friend

[Madness]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Hey there fellow Texan!

Yes, being poor is the pits when it comes to trying to study something. While there is lots and lots online, I would only suggest reading forums with people who have actually done the work or just a select few other websites. Otherwise, books are your better bet, but even there you can get some pretty crumby things.

Have you checked out the local library? Or college library? Many libraries have "interlibrary loan" services where they can get books from other, bigger libraries possibly in more liberal parts of Texas (i.e. Austin :P).

Check out www.witchvox.com just to make sure there aren't pagan groups in your area. You'd be surprised where they crop up!

Study, study, and give a few things a try and keep working at it!

[ConnollyCelt]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

You don't have to do elaborate rituals to be pagan. My beliefs are under the rug too (I will tell soon though), and I've realized it is easy to make it a part of your life. Studying is brilliant, and you should continue but there are other ways to be pagan without people thinking you insane. Talking a walk, sitting in a park, watching a bird chrip - these are all lowkey, simple ways of connecting with the spirits. In my view, ritual is pretty cool but to appreciate ritual you first have to appreciate why you are doing it. So if you take ten minutes everyday to just sit outside to watch and listen (speaking from experience) you will connect more and the rituals will come naturally rather than being forced and textbookish.

Good luck, and remember that this is your path, and you should more than anything else enjoy yourself

[Texanserb]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

I have not yet gone to look at the local library, partially because I'm not even sure where it is. That and I've been sick lately (bed ridden currently, which makes me unhappy because I did have an Imbolc celebration planned, just a small thing with me and my friend, but with 100.4 fever and all of that... not a good day for me). So... just been on the computer mostly and reading the few books I currently own (Wicca by Scott Cunningham, Wicca by DJ Conway (really enjoying this one so far), Tarot Reading for the Green Witch (it was on clearance at half price books, and I'm a bit interested in Tarot), and another one about elemental magic by Scott Cunningham... haven't started this one yet)... and then studying some of my college stuff. Haven't left the dorm.

I've been on witchvox, there is a coven in our town, but I just did not get a good feeling about it even just by going onto their website. Doesn't necessarily mean it's bad or anything, it just didn't quite feel... "right". So... I was going to do a bit of solitary practice.

I am planning on heading north of fort worth on Friday to go look at a horse along with this friend, and I had been looking online at some of the different listings for local metaphysical shops... even just to talk to someone in person would be awesome.

Right now though, apart from one book in the school library about witchcraft and how it relates to Christianity and how evil it is (well... sorta along those lines), the majority of my resources come from internet resources. I listen to podcasts a lot too. Right now one that I'm really liking is Elemental Castings led by T. Thorn. She goes element by element, brings in various guest speakers, and then just discusses their path, then different things that relate back to the particular element. Very informative and made me think about a lot of things. So... yeah. If anyone has any particular forums or podcasts or books... I would love to hear any suggestions.

[Texanserb]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Trying to connect with the nature around me has been something I've been trying to do. What I would love to do is to get up every morning, and watch the sunrise outside. Problem with that? I far from an early bird. But sunset works too... or... like you just said... 10 minutes each day to just enjoy and watch and listen to the world around me.

And again, thank you all.

[MaskedOne]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Any advice? Any recommended reading or even just some advice on how to make this a part of my life without letting everyone know? I am not ashamed of this, but I am living in a VERY Christian area of Texas, and with my family beliefs what they are, I would just prefer to have this be under the rug... for now at least. So... yeah. Any thoughts?

How concerned are you about keeping this secret? Slightly, moderately or "I want my secrets hidden so deep in the closet that Aslan is going to want words with me about littering."

Be warned that I'm relatively low on entertainment this week so if you choose option three, I reserve the right to interpret it as a personal challenge and let my paranoid nature have free reign.

[Texanserb]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

It's in between the second and third options. But feel free to accept anything as a personal challenge if you wish.

Mostly, I just don't want my family finding out. I have one friend who knows, and my roommate is lesbian and came out of her own closet, and another friend who is accepting. And... as sad as this sounds... those are really probably my only friends at this time. I have a hard time meeting people, mostly because I just don't see the point of small talk. And everyone else does. But yeah... I don't mind if they find out... as long as my family doesn't. At all. Anytime soon at least.

ETA: By the way, Narnia is located in a wardrobe... not a closet. (just kidding around, the series is one of my favorites and I love getting all tangled up in the details)

[Dez]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Since you are desiring to hide in the pre-modern-era closet equivalent ( ), easiest way to make sure it doesn't leak is to not leave anything around that will lead to questions. No unusual jewelry, use a nick-name if you meet with a local group, design an altar if you chose to have one so that it all locks up in a little cupboard or shelf. Fortunately, no one can eavesdrop on the human mind, and that, not the trappings, is the most important part of the journey.

[Caelia]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

Some ways you can also hide stuff like an altar is to do what I've inadvertently accomplished: make it and the sort look like a bunch of knick-knacks. If this is too obvious (for instance, you aren't the type to collect knick-knacks) you could try something like a little altar or shrine that fits in one of those fake books. Whatever you do, though, if you must put it in a closet DON'T BURN CANDLES OR INCENSE. Yes, it's common sense, but too many people can't figure out that's how a big fire starts.

[Luke_Ironside]

Re: New to this path... any advice?

I would pretty much second what everyone here has already said, but also add that one could always create a temple in their mind, through visualisation. If you're unable to practice your spirituality in the physical, what's to stop you from performing an entire ritual through visualisation? Scott Cunningham's book "Living Wicca" has some decent information on creating an astral temple from memory.

Another option is to do your rituals at a private spot in nature, which little or no tools. Even a secluded part of a local park could work fine.