Reactions to your "coming out"

[Nerá]

For those of you that are "out of the broom closet," I'm just curious of what your experiences were with coming out? How did people react? Friends? Family? Coworkers?

I feel like I'm at that point now where it's sink or swim time. It needs to come out or I'm going to have to continue to supress this huge part of myself. I want to do it, but I'm scared of how people will react.

How did you go about letting people know?

[Loki]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

Not much reaction at all TBH! I can't really say anyone's been shocked by it!

[BigHat]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

my christian friends have said things like "i'll pray for you" rofl
aside from that no one gave a shit.
i find that by not making any sort of big deal about it and just not giving a shit and being confident about it makes people respect my decision more as it's my own decision.

[Nerá]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I did wear my rose quartz necklace today and a coworker asked me about it, but I didn't say anything about WHY I wear it. He's from Africa and he's familiar with magick..Hoodoo specifically..and I think that's why he took such interest in it. But he did say that it was very cool.

I've heard a lot of things about all the bad reactions people have received...and I live in the Bible belt so that makes it even better. Even the people that knew about my beliefs before (it was just "a phase" as far as they are concerned now) didn't hide the fact that they thought it was weird. That's why I'm so self-conscious about it.

I'm tired of having to hide this part of myself that is so important to me just because I'm afraid of how people are going to react.....

[wisp]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

My mother thinks I'm dealing with the Christian "Devil" and told me "Satan sometimes wears friendly disguises" to say that my positive experiences were just evil deceptions. She has since decided to put blinders on and blatantly ignores it. (though i've noticed a lot of people suddenly posting more Christian inspirational and you need God messages on facebook lately. That may be coincidence.) My father got very uncomfortable but tried to be understanding. My sister and her husband believe I'm going through a phase.
My husband is very proud of me for choosing my own path. My friends that know either think "Oh neat" or they tease me for believing things they don't want to bother to understand.
No one else knows. My in-laws..I have a rocky relationship with to begin with and I just don't want to give them more fuel. My extended family I haven't told, though I've one particularly clever cousin whom I think has figured it out, and probably doesn't much care either way. He's very sweet in that he just wants me to be happy.


So..my semi-out-of-the-broom-closet is a little complicated. BUT, I totally understand the need to share, to let people know. And, barring potential danger to self, I wouldn't let reactions stop you from telling people who you really think should know.

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

Many of my friends know, and they're open minded about it. My parents don't know that what I've been dabbling in is paganism, and I don't plan to tell them any time soon. "Pagan" is the magic word that would set them off, no doubt.

[PsykhikosAnarchosNautikos]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I've been told I was being deceived by the devil many times by the older generations but a couple Catholic friends back in high school accepted I was into occultism and still hung out with me, but they still prayed for me. I thought it was sweet, honestly.

My family has always been pretty open minded so they weren't surprised when I claimed Pagan as a label, especially since it was more positive then others I have claimed, and still kind of do. They had a problem with Satansim, Luciferianism and Vampirism but after discussing it and explaining my own theories and experiences on the subjects they soon saw the reasons why and that even they can relate to those labels (to a degree) as well. My friends all know I am into some pretty obscure things and that is why we get a long so well.

[Louisvillian]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

My parents are both liberal atheists, and don't care that much. My dad's into Norse mythology, and is relatively positive about it. Cracks jokes, but my parents are just that kind of people. We're all very sardonic.
My friends react variously with "Oh, okay, whatever" to "Really? Youliterally everyone else we know knows that we practise Wicca, are polytheists, and fuck like rabbits.

[Jera]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I haven't "come out" explicitly to my family. My dad doesn't care for religion, and even if I did tell him he'd probably just shake his head and say "I don't really care what you believe". My mom is ex-Jehovah's Witness, she's aware that I am involved with "occult" subjects and I have even conducted Tarot readings and a seance with her, but I haven't exactly told her that I am a Pagan. I think she's aware of it on a deeper level and seems pretty okay with it. Brothers and sister aren't really concerned with it either, we're a largely non-religious family now that my mom has "escaped" from the JWs.
Most of my friends know I'm Pagan, even my Christian friends, who are all very accepting and supportive. In fact some of my best friends are Christians, and we are perfectly comfortable with keeping religious debates out of conversations. They never judge or patronise me, and in turn I respect their beliefs and as a result am slow to paint all Christians with the same bigoted brush like some Pagans do.
I keep my religious choice out of the workplace for professional reasons, as I don't think religion belongs in the workplace. My boss is aware that I am not Christian, and so are my students, but I don't specify what religion I follow as this is none of their business.

[Lilium of the Valley]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I've had nothing but good accept for one odd response....plus i dont tell anyone and everyone....to me its kind of personal and isnt anybodies business especially those people, where you already know they are going to judge you. i agree with bighat, the more confident you are about it, and the less you care about what other people think about you, the better off you will be.
my mother said the same thing wisp was saying "the devil wears friendly disguises to reel people in, so they get hooked" etc...she also mentioned to be sure about what i am doing "if you open those doors you will never be able to close them" etc.....but i do not expect her to understand my ways...she is not pagan...she is not a witch...she is not educated on the things i am, which is why i dont let it bother me. everyone just has their own belief system, and especially parents just want to protect you...so take those kind of remarks with a grain of salt. if you have friends that want to 'burn you at the stake' for something that makes you fulfilled and happy, they werent real friedns to begin with. good luck, and dont worry, just be who you are!

[arcticluna]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I've only told a very few people about my paganism, and only after I feel it's OK for me to tell them. In general, I'm tucked into the broom closet. I think it's because I feel it's a private issue (something I've always felt about religion).

[Shortstuff]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I've never been in the closet. Over the years I have become acquainted with several people who I would have liked to have become friends with, but they were unable to respect me as I am so I cut ties with them. I don't expect people to believe exactly the same stuff as I do, but I do expect a level of respect and if people are incapable of giving that then they have no place in my life.

[Monster]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

Its been kind of funny actually. I've had everything from "It doesn't matter by which name you call God" to.......being accused of devil worshipping. I had an aunt want to "talk to me about Jesus".......and ended up stomping off and telling me I was going to hell.

But I'm not in the closet. I just keep it to myself cause I don't believe in making a spectacle or an issue of it. Everyone has their own beliefs. I respect yours so long as you respect mine. I grew up in a Southern Baptist church.....got away from it...and eventually worked my way around to Paganism. I'm not even a good Pagan cause there is so much out there to learn. I just know I do believe in a higher power, but I don't believe in organized religion. And I've never had a Pagan of any flavor scream at me "You're going to hell!!!" if I didn't believe exactly what he/she believes.

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I've already posted a response to this, but I'll elaborate a little more for the hell of it.
I'm halfies on the out of the closet thing. I don't make a point of keeping it to myself, I just don't usually go outright and say I'm a pagan. I let people get to know me and they find out what they find out about my beliefs through what I say, do, and have in my room (my best friend calls it my "Alisa cave"). A few of my friends and my brother have heard me refer to myself as "pagan", and they're all very open minded and supportive about it. I do make a point of keeping my parents from knowing certain details about my spirituality, though. If they heard me call myself a "pagan" they would get entirely the wrong impression, then go into crazy religious zealot mode, and there would be no talking them out of it.

[volcaniclastic]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I'm neither in, nor out of the closet (any closet). If somebody asks, I answer truthfully, but if they don't ask, then I figure it's none of their business anyhow.

I think my family might suspect, but I grew up in a religiously ignorant household, and my grandma's into astrology, and my mom's had a spell written on the fridge for as long as I can remember. My friends...some know, some don't. Doesn't make any matter which is which, to me.

And of course, my boyfriend knows, and I tell him the most, but that's still about 1000x less than I tell the internet.