Searching for my god/dess pair

[Elyria'Winterwood]

Hello all!

While I'm not necessarily new to Paganism, I am new to this forum. Hello! I started my Pagan path, officially, about five years ago. Of course, inside, I was Pagan long before that. I've been told I was a witch in a past life, so I guess I've been Pagan for ages.

Anyway. Since I started my journey, I've been doing a lot of reading on different Goddesses. But I've never really found "the one." I've always loved Greek mythology. For as long as I can remember, I've loved the stories and the morals and everything about it. So choosing a Greek God and Goddess pair was logical for me. But I don't feel like that's where I belong anymore.

I feel that my connection with the Goddess is stronger than most peoples. That may be arrogant of me to say, but it's what I feel. My prayers seem to always be answered, in a way that lets me know they've been answered. Even if it isn't the way I want it to turn out, I always know that She's answering me. I always get a sign. But when I start trying to put a face to this Divine Mother (as I call her), I start losing my connection with her. I'm sure one could argue that my focus is being pulled away from the Divine and set on more trivial matters, so just losing focus on my connection in general will weaken my connection. My point is, I just don't feel like any name I have fits with the Goddess I worship.

In my few years, I've tried Nyx (who I really enjoyed, but that was when I was working overnights and I was part of the night), Gaea (who for some reason just doesn't resonate with me), Artemis (because of her connection to the forest), Athena (because of my love for knowledge and owls, of course), Persephone, Demeter, and more recently Hecate. Obviously, none of those worked for me. Nyx is probably the closest I've come to feeling I've found a name for my Goddess. My problem, though, is that I want an Earth goddess, like Gaea. It's hard for me to worship Nyx when I feel that Nyx only rules the night. I even tried Nyx and Hemera, night and day, but it still just didn't work out. If I could find a way to fit Nyx into a Maiden/Mother/Crone grouping, that'd be terrific!

Anyway, again... lol I love Greek mythology. I just don't feel that it fits me anymore. My problem is, though, I don't know the other paths. I don't even know where to start with Celtic or Irish or Norse traditions. I've always loved Norse gods growing up. Loki has always had a special place in my heart, though I'm not a tricky person at all. And Celtic and Irish have just recently became interesting for me.

I suppose my question is, how do I figure out my Goddess? If she isn't Greek, how will I find her? There are so many resources.. Where should I start? I've read up on some of the Celtic goddesses, and none of them really seemed to resonate with me either. I suppose I'm just feeling lost at this point. I want a name to put to my Goddess. I want to give her credit where credit is due.


Any ideas?
Blessings,
Elyria

[wisp]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

I don't mean this as petulant or dismissive, though I know it may sound that way.
Have you tried asking? My gods and my goddess all were very willing to confirm who they were for me, when I asked.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

In my few years, I've tried Nyx (who I really enjoyed, but that was when I was working overnights and I was part of the night), Gaea (who for some reason just doesn't resonate with me), Artemis (because of her connection to the forest), Athena (because of my love for knowledge and owls, of course), Persephone, Demeter, and more recently Hecate. Obviously, none of those worked for me. Nyx is probably the closest I've come to feeling I've found a name for my Goddess. My problem, though, is that I want an Earth goddess, like Gaea. It's hard for me to worship Nyx when I feel that Nyx only rules the night. I even tried Nyx and Hemera, night and day, but it still just didn't work out. If I could find a way to fit Nyx into a Maiden/Mother/Crone grouping, that'd be terrific!

There is no true Wiccan Mother / Maiden / Crone notion in Hellenic practices. The closest one might suggest from my understanding is the grouping of Demeter as Crone / Persephone as Mother / Hecate as Maiden within the Elysuian (sp) mysteries. Some will suggest Selene / Artemis / Hecate as the stages of the moon but that is not a MMC but stages of the moon's progression through the heavens. Even Hecate is not a MMC but a tri-goddess who holds power over Heaven (Sky) / Land (Earth) and Water (Ocean $ Sea = usually coastal).

You've also not stated or clarified why you'd want a chthonic goddess considering those are "Earth" goddesses. As such your looking at strong fertility & fecundity goddess, goddesses who hold sway over the dead or the underworld, Goddesses who also may be seen as seasonal in their influences and rotate through birth, growth, life and death in its many capacities beyond just those of humanity.

I suppose my question is, how do I figure out my Goddess? If she isn't Greek, how will I find her? There are so many resources.. Where should I start? I've read up on some of the Celtic goddesses, and none of them really seemed to resonate with me either. I suppose I'm just feeling lost at this point. I want a name to put to my Goddess. I want to give her credit where credit is due.

Truthfully I wonder if you have a goddess or not. On the surface i'd say you've got a better chance at having a trickster spirit who is leading you to think it is a goddess. Very much so if it will not give you its name or keeps suggesting a name to mislead and misdirect you so it retains its hidden identity.

[Gardenia]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

Well, a couple of thoughts here, in no real order...

First, I second the question about asking. You mention that when you pray, you always feel you receive some sort of answer - so if you haven't tried asking asking, that might be a good first step. If you have, and have not felt you got an answer, it might be worth thinking on why that might be. Because sometimes things like this...

My problem, though, is that I want an Earth goddess, like Gaea.

...can block out who we're looking for. If you have a specific idea of what you're looking for, it might be that you end up looking in the wrong areas, or blocking out signs that you might be getting. Not that (in my opinion) it is wrong to have an idea of the sort of Goddesses you'd be spending quite a bit of time with, but it is something to consider. Many times the deities we form close bonds with are not who we expect them to be.

On a similar note, while I know the whole Goddess/God pair thing is really pushed in some particular traditions, things don't always quite work out that way. So if you're really struggling to find a pair (and right now, it seems a struggle to find either, so...), or something other than a God/Goddess pair comes along, try not to worry too much about it...

My point is, I just don't feel like any name I have fits with the Goddess I worship.
I want a name to put to my Goddess. I want to give her credit where credit is due.

I would also ask, how do you feel your relationship with the Goddess is? It sounds to me like you're a bit of a soft polytheist, seeing all goddesses as aspects of One Goddess? Is this true? If so, if things are working well as they are now, with this Divine Mother, is more of a name necessary? Why would say, addressing Artemis be more 'credit' than addressing the Divine Mother? It might be that this is the deity you're meant to be working with, and might not need to find any specific deity, as such...


To actually get around to answering the question a bit more, though, again I'd go back to asking. It might take a lot of asking, and it might be a long process, but if it's something you really feel you need to do now... well, it should be worth it, right? Again though, it might be worth going into it without any expectations of who might answer. Try to keep a clear mind about it. Ask, spend some time meditating on it, see what you feel, what symbols, colors, etc. come up... Maybe ask for dreams influenced by them. Eventually you might have enough information about them that research will be easier. If you know that the deity is associated with X, Y, and Z, looks a particular way, wears something distinctive, and so on, it makes researching who it is easier... Heck, they might even very clearly tell you exactly who they are - that does happen sometimes.

If I could find a way to fit Nyx into a Maiden/Mother/Crone grouping, that'd be terrific!

And just as a bit of a side note, you might know this already, but it's good to keep in mind that the maiden-mother-crone concept really is more of a modern one, so it can be really hard to fit ancient Goddesses into it. Some fit in nicely, but a whole bunch really don't mesh with it...

[Moonshine Thistlewish]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

What you want and what you need are probably two different things. I have a friend who was in the process of joining a coven as a chosen of Brigid when the Morrigan swooped in and claimed her. Left her pissed for a long time, but in the end, it worked out.

[Elyria'Winterwood]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

Perhaps I should clarify myself, as I seem to have come off differently than I had originally intended.

I came to Paganism a little over five years ago after a year of studying. Before that, I was a firm believer in psychics and the occult. My first experiences with it were spirits of the dead who tried to communicate with me. Though while most people saw solid spirits with defined features and clear voices, I saw orbs. Black, white, colored orbs of light that would fly into a different room just as something would fall off the shelf. So spirits lead me deeper into the metaphysical. The more I learned, the more I experienced, including prophetic dreams, strong (and unfortunately accurate) intuition, and the occasional vision. I've dreamt of my past lives on numerous occasions, one of which happened to be during the Burning Times, a fact that I would rather not be true because no one wants to know they were murdered in a past life. I've practiced with Oracle cards and found I have quite a connection with them. I've attempted at Tarot, runes, and pendulums but I've been less successful on those avenues.

But I suppose what differs from everyone else and me is the way in which I've received my information. I suppose I'm just not as "special" as everyone else, but I've never gotten my answers directly. I can't answer a question and have a spirit/Goddess/God/spirit guide appear to me and give me the answer in so many words. I receive signs, images, that I must interpret to figure out the truth. All of my prophet dreams were symbolic. So much so that I didn't realize what they were predicting until the event had already happened. (I can give you proof if you'd like. I was a member of a psychic forum for over seven years, where my dreams were posted, asking for a interpretation, only to have the event they predicted happen days later. I can show you the newspaper clippings, also, to match the topic dates.)

So! When I say I can't figure out my Goddess, it's because she hasn't appeared to me in a solid form, speaking coherent english to tell me who she is. I wish I were as lucky as the rest of you, who know definitively who your Goddess is because she's decided to reveal herself to you. I guess I'm just not liked as much. Either that, or she expects me to work a little harder to find my truth. Because things don't come easily for me. I have to WORK for what I get. I have to practice every day of the month to hold on to my talents or I'll lose them. So I can't figure out my Goddess, because my brain is so preoccupied keeping up with my Oracle cards and practicing with Runes and the pendulum, all while starting a new job and taking care of my sick cat, to notice the signs she's sending me. Because I receive SIGNS, unlike other people. I have to WORK to interpret my messages. I have to keep my eyes open and take notice of everything, because if I miss even the smallest thing, I've missed half the message. And yanno? It works for me, though I'm sure it wouldn't work for other. I know my goddess is communicating with me, even if she isn't using her mouth or her face.

And when I say I "want" an Earth goddess, I mean I feel "chosen" by an Earth goddess. Because I pray by sitting in nature or by picturing myself in nature. My connection is stronger with the goddess when I see myself in nature, which leads me to assume that my goddess is Earth oriented. But Gaea is not my Goddess. Upon further research of my own, with no assistance from anyone else, I rediscovered Rhea, who is very similar to Gaea and resonates with me in a way that Gaea never did. So I know I have a Goddess, not a trickster, because I can feel her presence and because she is guiding me and helping me during my tough times. And even if it is a trickster, at least that trickster is taking care of me and helping me out, which is more than I can say for a lot of other people.

And upon FURTHER unsuggested reading, I discovered (a very rare find, might I add) that Rhea used to sit at the entrance to Nyx's cave and beat a drum to call attention to her cave. So, the two I feel closest with, Nyx and Rhea, are connected in historical texts. So perhaps the two WILL work together!


Case closed.
Elyria

[Gardenia]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

But I suppose what differs from everyone else and me is the way in which I've received my information. I suppose I'm just not as "special" as everyone else, but I've never gotten my answers directly. I can't answer a question and have a spirit/Goddess/God/spirit guide appear to me and give me the answer in so many words. I receive signs, images, that I must interpret to figure out the truth.

So! When I say I can't figure out my Goddess, it's because she hasn't appeared to me in a solid form, speaking coherent english to tell me who she is. I wish I were as lucky as the rest of you, who know definitively who your Goddess is because she's decided to reveal herself to you.

Very few people are able to ask and get a clear, direct answer like you're suggesting. Signs, images, feelings, fragments, and so on are very common when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't personally know anyone who doesn't have to work to maintain their spiritual growth and connection - and sometimes that work involves putting together the pieces we get to form the answer that we're looking for.

So the suggestion is not so much to ask and wait for a goddess to literally show up and introduced herself in plain English... it's to ask, and wait for the symbols and signs until you've got enough for form a clear image. Which, it seems that's what you've been doing, so...

[Charmed Fool]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

I'm not sure if you have specifically tried this or not, but sometimes meditating on the energies/spirits/deities around you will make things clear. As in forms of meditation, it doesn't have to be sitting in lotus position with your eyes slightly open, it can be whatever it is that you do that really allows you to focus. So long as you are open to everything around you, your deities/spirits will commune with you. It took me a long time to get to know mine and then one day they just...spoke to me while meditating upon Nature.

[wisp]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

My suggestion to ask by no means means I didn't work for what I have. I had to learn how to communicate, I had to learn how to listen which includes some interpretations and my meetings were sometimes a bit emotionally traumatic. By clear I mean that the signs were insistent and consistent. They wouldn't leave me alone and when I said "it's you, isn't it?" I got confirmation. But I asked and worked for it first. So that was where my question comes from. Have you done the initial asking?
I also think you're making broad assumptions about others and how their paths and connections work and that's muddying your perceptions on the advice you're getting.

[Quetzal]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

Sorry, to piggyback on someone else's thread, but I don't feel
my question deserves it's own, as it's somewhat linked with
the question asked in this one.
I feel absolutely certain about two particular deities, beyond
any shadow of doubt. The thing is, these two deities are
from two separate pantheons, each on the opposite side of
the world from the other.
My question is, would a person of a more focused faith be
offended to know that I link one of their deities with a
deity an entire culture away? Is this something I should
keep to myself to be polite? I know that some followers of
the northern tradition can get somewhat irate about the
idea of "mixing and matching" pantheons, for example.

Thanks in advance, sorry if this is a stupid question and
sorry again for piggybacking...

[wisp]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

There are plenty of eclectic practitioners. Sometimes you are simply called by different pantheons just be respectful and mindful of the cultures

[Gardenia]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

I feel absolutely certain about two particular deities, beyond any shadow of doubt. The thing is, these two deities are from two separate pantheons, each on the opposite side of the world from the other. My question is, would a person of a more focused faith be offended to know that I link one of their deities with a deity an entire culture away? Is this something I should keep to myself to be polite? I know that some followers of the northern tradition can get somewhat irate about the idea of "mixing and matching" pantheons, for example.

If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that it doesn't matter what you're doing, you're going to offend someone. So yeah, it might offend some of the hardcore people... but for the most part? As long as you take a respectful approach, most people aren't going to be bothered by it. There are lots of people here who are called to deities from different pantheons. Heck, and it's not like ancient pagans didn't absorb deities from other cultures into their own pantheons quite often, so it's not really a new concept or all that weird to have happen.

[Quetzal]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that it doesn't matter what you're doing, you're going to offend someone. So yeah, it might offend some of the hardcore people... but for the most part? As long as you take a respectful approach, most people aren't going to be bothered by it. There are lots of people here who are called to deities from different pantheons. Heck, and it's not like ancient pagans didn't absorb deities from other cultures into their own pantheons quite often, so it's not really a new concept or all that weird to have happen.

This is what I thought, it's just that, I think manners are
important, especially when dealing with people who are
essentially my betters in a given subject.
Thanks for answering my question guys.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

Sorry, to piggyback on someone else's thread, but I don't feel my question deserves it's own, as it's somewhat linked with the question asked in this one. I feel absolutely certain about two particular deities, beyond any shadow of doubt. The thing is, these two deities are from two separate pantheons, each on the opposite side of the world from the other. My question is, would a person of a more focused faith be offended to know that I link one of their deities with a
deity an entire culture away? Is this something I should keep to myself to be polite? I know that some followers of the northern tradition can get somewhat irate about the idea of "mixing and matching" pantheons, for example.

Thanks in advance, sorry if this is a stupid question and sorry again for piggybacking...

I personally do not think it wrong to combine gods / goddesses from two areas if they compliment one another. It's when they would cause conflict or challenge for dominance that I think it would not work really well. For instance Thor might work with another god / goddess but I think would have trouble if not out and out conflict with another thunder god as they would be competing for the same purpose. I would think the same might be said of two trickster gods / goddess who would again oppose one another. Then one should or would have to consider if they are opposing forces in influence which also would not be a good combination in my opinion.

I do think though that one has to consider the full aspect of the god / goddess. For instance I've seen some select Pele the Hawaiian Volcano goddess. The only problem is that Pele has always been associated to a single volcano in Hawaii not volcanoes in general. As such many do find it an affront to such a native and specific place goddess and transporting her elsewhere. I know for me the fell of Hawaii and Pele's presence is unique and for me did not transfer to any of the volcanoes I saw in the Med basin or the Orient. In essence Pele was not Vulcan in any way.

I do tend to think it also a matter of what pantheons your trying to mix and assumptions of what makes a pantheon. One of the biggest I see is the assumption that there is a Native American pantheon at the expense of the many nations that made up Native American (or American practices as a whole considering North, Central and South America) peoples and their spiritual beliefs. Celtic is another pantheon that gets interesting in that it is a language group composed of many different peoples who did not follow the same gods / goddesses nor are the same ones found through out the Celtic people's. Yet many try to force fit them all together or make sweeping generalizations that they were all one giant pantheon.

It might not be politically correct but I would expect to be challenged by others when you speak about joining various pantheons. Some from an aspect of traditional protections and rights, other's from hardcore notions of pantheon boundaries and yes other's from a sense your trying to steal their heritage or changing their god / goddess into something they are not.

Is it right or wrong? That's harder to answer, for it will always be driven against ones own morals and ethics. Some I would never consider as I have no blood lineage to them but that doesn't say they would not reach out and touch you.

[thalassa]

Re: Searching for my god/dess pair

While the deities I worship are mostly Greek and Roman, I have been compelled to offer worship to several others, from other pantheons (including pantheons whose normal worshipers can be a bit testy). Because I don't run around saying "Look at me, I'm a _____ worshiper" I've found that no one really cares. In fact, I have seldom felt the need to talk about which deities I worship, or how, or why--its just not a necessity for the manner in which I generally engage with the greater Pagan communities. I'm quite afraid that if someone had a problem with the who or what or how I privately chose to go about engaging with the gods that I would oh-so-tactfully tell them to fuck off.

It has been my experience and observation that people are just as likely to cycle from one deity (or set of deities) or another in the course of their lifetime as their life changes as they are to stay with the same deities, and that there is often a time when one or more pantheons might make themselves known to the individual in question. How you worship, who you worship and the reasons for doing so are a decision for you, and for the deities in question. Not for the peanut gallery. Sure, they have the right to their opinion, but all that means is that you have the right to your opinion about their opinion...