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Aster Thrakena
17 Aug 2015, 13:22
First of all, I apologize if there is already a thread based on this particular topic, but I just had to ask...

Did you grow up with your parents teaching you, or did you learn yourself? Did they accept your pagan views?

I have a pretty open father but...my mom has basically all up and left. My dad doesn't know the extent of my beliefs, but he knows enough that he shows me news on witch stuff or pagan stuff. My fiancé also knows and he is pretty understanding. Just, how did you tell your family/significant other. What were the results? Should you keep it hidden forever? Should you say it up front? Should you wait awhile? My deed is already done, but I am curious of other stories. Especially from those who found out that their path wasn't for them when they were in the high school age.

For those that had adverse reactions, are you better now?

Sorry...lots of questions :=I:

faye_cat
17 Aug 2015, 13:58
I'm mainly self taught everything, but lucky enough to have people I can discuss this with in my life.

My parents...I don't remember extensive religious lessons. We said "Grace" at thanksgiving, went to Catholic Mass every couple of Christmases. I went to church with a few friends here and there growing up, but we didn't attend a church. I got really into Church of Christ sophomore-senior year of high school, but the most involved I ever got was twice a week services with the occasional youth group outing.

My parents were extremely worried about me even studying other religions, and when they found out I was friends with pagans, they were extremely upset, even accused me of joining a cult (there were other arguments at the time that maybe factored in, but still extreme overreaction). I've only officially begun to consider myself pagan, instead of agnostic with pagan tendencies, etc. I highly doubt I will tell any of my parents, siblings, cousins, etc ever. We don't get along about most stuff, I'm not opening myself up to even more judgements and attacks. I still considered myself Christian at the time frame and still got nasty lectures and all that jazz, I'm not dealing with that level of vitriol again. I'll continue to talk in the abstract and educate people if they want, but I won't answer questions about myself.

I started dating my now husband back when I first started hanging out with "that pagan cult", so he's pretty understanding ;). Three of my best friends couldn't be different in terms of religion, one is uber Christian, one is eclectic pagan, and one is Buddhist. I'm lucky that if I wanted to discuss it with any of them, they would listen and wouldn't be upset, and it would be like talking about any other aspect of life. For other of my friends, I may or may not ever "let it show". For me, I've come to realize that my spirituality is a deeply personal thing and I'll discuss it, but not necessarily bring it up.

kalynraye
17 Aug 2015, 20:59
There probably is a thread around here somewhere but its no big deal. As for myself, my mother is also pagan but did not teach me herself. She provided me with the tools I needed and introduced me to my first mentor but she herself did not do any teaching.

I converted to paganism on my 16th birthday which on the 29th of next month with be 13 years ago. I had a mentor for my early years as a pagan and to this day I value everything he taught me. At 18 I joined a coven and worked with them for 2 years until I made the decision to leave. Since then I have been a solitary kitchen witch who follows a celtic pantheon. I would like to find a coven again but I don't have normal hours which tend to make it difficult for me.

Aster Thrakena
18 Aug 2015, 05:18
Faye_cat: thank you so much for putting your two cents in! I enjoyed reading it! I am sorry that you were accused of so many things, but it seemed you came out on top! <3

Kalynraye:I have always wanted to join a coven. I was fascinated with witchcraft and have many books on the subject. I have my own altar with magickal items inside. I just never really learned what to do or what it feels like. How was it in a coven?

habbalah
18 Aug 2015, 17:56
My mother is Christian. My dad is, I think, an atheist, but I'm not sure. He used to say he was, but now he gets weird when I say I don't go to church and haven't in over fifteen years.

I'm mostly self-taught. I wandered around spiritually for about ten years and researched different religions and belief systems. I'm still slowly forming my path.

My mom understands that I'm not Christian and never will be again, and is mostly okay with it. She does, however, question some parts of it because she's afraid I'm talking to evil beings and just don't know it. I try to explain things that I believe and do, but I'm not sure how much I've allayed her fears. My dad and I just don't really have deep conversations. Most of my friends know, to some degree or another, and basically accept it. If I have a significant other, they would HAVE to accept it, or we wouldn't be together. I'm not going to hide part of myself from someone I potentially will spent the rest of my life with.

kowalsky
15 Sep 2015, 20:18
You should wait awhile for good time and talk with them, they love you and just want give to you good things.

DragonsFriend
16 Sep 2015, 15:33
My mother, a Roman Catholic, was completely filled with joy when I became a priest. It didn't seem to matter that I was a pagan priest, she was just happy that one of her boys had become a priest.
She could see that it was good for me and that I had become a better person so that was enough. Let people get to know you as a person and then you can ease them into the concept that your faith is different.

"Pagan" means different things to different people and the word "witch" seems to be "of the devil" in most peoples minds.

Cynica the Ageless
16 Sep 2015, 16:45
My mother and my in-laws disagree with my beliefs, but that does not mean we cannot respect each other on a fundamental level. We simply choose to discuss other things.

callmeclemens
16 Sep 2015, 17:33
While the general atmosphere of my family was Cathholic I still was exposed to many ideas. My Mother and her family are devout Catholics however, my mother dabbles in so much of the occult while somehow managing to be unaware of it. My Father was a revolving door of Christianity. From Mormon, to fundamentalist and whatever you can find in-between. Its only because of him I've learned to keep my thoughts to myself until I can properly articulate to others what I believe and why I believe it.

My wife knows I'm a Pagan, but to this point I only express ideas to her, and don't often share beliefs.

Sharing with family is a tough call. I hope my grandparents never find out. I respect them, and their faith enough to not question it by the way I live openly to them.

Gleb
16 Sep 2015, 20:10
First of all, I apologize if there is already a thread based on this particular topic, but I just had to ask...

Did you grow up with your parents teaching you, or did you learn yourself? Did they accept your pagan views?

I have a pretty open father but...my mom has basically all up and left. My dad doesn't know the extent of my beliefs, but he knows enough that he shows me news on witch stuff or pagan stuff. My fiancé also knows and he is pretty understanding. Just, how did you tell your family/significant other. What were the results? Should you keep it hidden forever? Should you say it up front? Should you wait awhile? My deed is already done, but I am curious of other stories. Especially from those who found out that their path wasn't for them when they were in the high school age.

For those that had adverse reactions, are you better now?

Sorry...lots of questions :=I:

Both. I was taught by my parents as well as I learned myself. They're still wary of my pagan side, but I don't care much. I just don't bring it up.
When I told my parents they didn't accept it very well at first. It took a while for them to accept it. There were arguments here and there but in general it was okay. It depends on your parents - if you're afraid you'll not be safe if you tell them - then keep it inside. If you think it'll be fine - it's up to you.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm neither better, nor worse.

Tylluan Penry
17 Sep 2015, 01:04
I've never agreed with teaching children what to believe. I taught mine about plants, folklore, the stars, local and natural history but as to beliefs... no.

But the most important thing I ever tried to do was teach them to be good, compassionate human beings. Everything else is just gravy.

Medusa
17 Sep 2015, 07:55
I've never agreed with teaching children what to believe. I taught mine about plants, folklore, the stars, local and natural history but as to beliefs... no.

But the most important thing I ever tried to do was teach them to be good, compassionate human beings. Everything else is just gravy.

See, here's the thing. By doing this you ARE teaching children what to believe. You are teaching them to believe in decent human beings. :D

When we act like decent human beings in front of children, that's how they learn to be decent human beings. They soak up everything we do and nothing of what we say. Kudos to parents who get this.

Tylluan Penry
17 Sep 2015, 12:57
See, here's the thing. By doing this you ARE teaching children what to believe. You are teaching them to believe in decent human beings. :D

When we act like decent human beings in front of children, that's how they learn to be decent human beings. They soak up everything we do and nothing of what we say. Kudos to parents who get this.

Aw! Shucks! ;)

thalassa
18 Sep 2015, 08:01
there's also a difference between teaching a child what to believe and teaching them what YOU believe and/or teaching them others believe...

I don't lie to my kids, and insofar as much as they are able to understand (and I have the time and patience for) We try to explain other opinions and viewpoints and perspectives and interpretations. We also explain why we do or do not agree with
with those other ideas and why, and even what the rationale behind those other opinions are and where they may come from. Plus, as parents, we aren't afraid to 1) tell the kids "I don't know" and to apologize to them when we are wrong or make a mistake.

The hubby wasn't raised like that, but (mostly) I was. No person and certainly no parent is perfect. We lose our temper, we make mistakes.....but we do it out of love and a genuine interest in our children's well being.

When it came to religion, I was raised in a church-going family, but it was a liberal and progressive branch of Christianity in a fairly tolerant and diverse community (for the midwest) where religion was like underwear--you had it, you wore it, in the right context you might talk about it, and very occasionally someone might get a peek of it...but mostly, people cared more what else you were wearing.

My family didn't care as long as I was "sure I wasn't gwtting in with some cult". My mom even hosted a Yule party for us one winter when we came home on leave.

anubisa
18 Sep 2015, 20:17
My parents are Catholic though my mom was raised in a Baptist household and converted when she married my dad. I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten to 4th grade (part of 4th grade). Later, when I was a teenager I began to learn about Wicca. My parents both know about me being Wiccan. Though my Mom is more accepting. When I told my dad he made a big deal about it ('You were baptized, I failed as a parent, etc...') He's a bit of a drama queen and over reacts a bit. He is more accepting now. My brother-in-law knows and thinks I worship a false good. I agree to disagree with him and go to church at Christmas and when we are together for dinner pray with them, though don't cross myself, and pray to my own deities. So it is a bit difficult and can be.

Hickory67
11 Oct 2015, 14:02
My adopted parents (aunt & uncle) have long passed, so no issues there. They weren't active church goers and didn't really talk about spirituality unless they were shaming me for something I'd done (situational faith). They did try to discourage me from anything that resembled what my father was into (LHP) - music, D&D, etc.

I learned much of what I know from my father. I was raised believing he was my uncle until I was 20 - but he was my favorite uncle and we were very close. However, I didn't practice anything since it was such taboo in the rest of the family.

Recently, I reconnected with my father's side of the family, who are all devout Seventh Day Adventists - so I have not let my beliefs be known to them. Actually, I'm only now starting to peek out of the closet with my immediate family - I openly practice divination at home. My wife, although raised Methodist, is pretty tolerant of alternative beliefs - she loves my shamanic friend & mentor. She doesn't believe in "hocus pocus," but is respectful nonetheless. Well...she chuckles at me, but that's because we've been married for 20 years.

I've waited this long to open up because, really, I wanted to be sure this is the path for me before I claimed a new interest or belief. Now that I'm sure of myself, we'll be having some conversations about it at home at least - I wouldn't want to hide it from my wife and kids. My adopted daughter (18) already knows and is interested in the path herself. The others think dad's just on one of his tangents and shrug it off like their mom.

daveydwb
14 Oct 2015, 23:45
I was raised to be Christian, mainly by my mother. I grew up in church and held onto those beliefs until a few years after high school, when I realized they weren't my own any more.

I've been changing a great deal since then, opening my mind to different possibilities and being more open with myself. I haven't told my family that I've started journeying into Heathenism. My sister is open-minded, but I know my parents, mainly my mom, wouldn't like it.

Luckily my wife is very supportive and encouraging. She's Pagan herself and we both believe in exploring spirituality.

magusphredde
15 Oct 2015, 16:27
Mom was a bar maid ... Dads were ... well ... there were a few ... Only 2 of us 6 have the same dad ... Got most of my humanity and gardening from my grandfather ... Grandma taught me to hate Dick Clark and dancing ... Mom did teach me how to tell really smooth smoking cannibus tho ... Never really thought much of religion until mid-teens when I found out I was related to Samuel Parris of Salemtown ... Ironic ...

CelticFae
18 Oct 2015, 07:16
I was raised Christian and my mom's side is mostly very dedicated, although many of them ironically have gifts that would make them excellent witches lol. I am new on this path, so I'm still studying and learning. I've only come out to my husband, my daughter (11yrs), my sister and one friend. Anyone else that knows are other pagans in my local community that I've reached out to.

My husband is trying to be open, and wants to be included in my journey but he is skeptical of the magick part of it, although he does agree and is interested in energy flow, using stones and crystals etc. My daughter is very interested and has been looking into it for herself. She considers herself pagan now, but is definitely following her own way that differs from mine (while overlapping in places). My sister has told me long ago she doesn't consider herself Christian anymore and is mostly agnostic. She is curious about my new path and has asked to take part in a ritual to see what its about. My friend is a tolerant Catholic who has always been very witchy without realizing it lol, so she is curious as well but also careful because she is afraid for her soul.

I don't know how, if ever I could come out of the broom closet to my parents or the rest of my moms family. I am so super close to them all and while they are pretty cool and accepting Christians (they stuck by me during my teen pregnancy with my daughter) I still fear what they would say/do if they knew about me being pagan. It makes me sad to think that either way I lose, because on one hand I can't fully be myself with them (especially my mom whom I very very close to) or on the other potentially sever ties.

Sigh.

DragonsFriend
18 Oct 2015, 11:12
I don't know if this will help but here is a letter from a concerned mom of one of our adult students after taking the time to get to know us:


To Paul and Trina co-founders of the Arratu Tradition


I made Paul and Trina to be “magnets”. I bring people to them that would not see


Me any other way. Say to them; “I will pour out more grace upon you in order for


my blessings to flow through you to My lost children.” Do not turn your mind away


from nor harden your hearts toward Me, Jesus. You have so much knowledge


but I challenge you to search outside of the boundaries in which you’ve already


studied. Be comfortable knowing that what you learn will not diminish or weaken


your current beliefs. Rather you will be enriched, expanded and empowered in a


way you have yet to imagine




Note from Jesus through his servant, Patsy Lunamann 2/7/2004



Patsy was a strict Baptist who even agreed to walk circle with us on occasion.