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Näre
05 Nov 2015, 06:13
Okay, after a short while of calling myself non-religious I'm gravitating back towards Paganism but the thing is, I don't feel connected to anything. I might walk in the nature and while I enjoy the sights and sounds, I don't feel the kind of connection a "proper pagan" should feel (yes, I know that is a wrong way of thinking, pardon me), I'm just going out to get back to the computer again, or to get something to eat.

The same with the more "spiritual" sides of Paganism. It seems just another separate piece in my life that demands too much energy and effort. Probably the nature of Paganism is such that some extra effort is needed but I don't know how to use that time and effort for building a sustainable Pagan practice instead of completely random rituals that I throw away once done. (Because I see no point in doing them.)

Maybe I just don't care, maybe I'm too lazy but whatever the reason is, I'm an outsider in my own (spiritual/pagan) life. And my spiritual life is separate from my daily life. (I'd rather be "ordinary" than "spiritual" so perhaps it's not a bad thing but I'm a bit bored of trying to arrange all the bits and pieces of myself so that they don't contradict each other all the time.)

thalassa
05 Nov 2015, 06:45
My first question is when do you feel connected to or inspired by something bigger than yourself? And I'm not talking nature--some people are just urban Pagans... I'm talking *anything*...it could be books, music, roller skating...whatever.

If your answer is never or seldom (and you totally do not have to answer this here), something to consider is if you might possible be depressed. I'm not saying you are, but I have noticed from my experience with people that have problems with depression, that this is one of the first things that go, if you've never had trouble with it in the past.

If you are someone that doesn't naturally get excited by things, that's okay too...but this will just be more work for you if you really want it. Otherwise, maybe you don't...and there's nothing wrong with that.

Näre
05 Nov 2015, 07:37
Thanks, I haven't thought too much about the urban Pagan thing..I might be a bit stuck with the pagan ideal of something living close to the nature and having numinous experiences every time when going out, even if it was just taking out the garbage. There is a kind of controversy between that ideal and my life. (Though there is still wonderful nature around my home and in the city as well.)
I'm not the kind of person who gets naturally excited (but I'm not too "zen" either) but I sometimes develop deep obsessions towards things. Usually it just happens that some thing catches my interest and before I've even noticed I'm knee-deep in googling about it.
Those obsession usually last some years and eventually fade and get replaced by something else.

DavidMcCann
05 Nov 2015, 09:19
I might be a bit stuck with the pagan ideal of something living close to the nature and having numinous experiences every time when going out, even if it was just taking out the garbage
It's not compulsory! I enjoy a walk in the park or by the river, but you can keep the countryside.


I'm not the kind of person who gets naturally excited (but I'm not too "zen" either) but I sometimes develop deep obsessions towards things. Usually it just happens that some thing catches my interest and before I've even noticed I'm knee-deep in googling about it. Those obsession usually last some years and eventually fade and get replaced by something else.
That's not unnatural either. In fact, it's me - although the enthusiasms never completely die. That's why my flat's full of books - you never know when you'll need that one on ancient galleys or the Samoan grammar...

Thrudr
05 Nov 2015, 11:55
I sometimes feel similar towards my pagan path. I have had times when I didn't feel any connection. Then all of a sudden the connection is back and I want to read all my pagan books again, celebrate the sabbaths, etc. Like it comes and goes in waves.

It has never crossed my mind about what Thalassa said here, but now that I think about it I often feel better when I'm in my "Pagan wave" (I don't know how else to call it XD). So maybe there is something going on in your life that blocks the connection?

Also, it's ok to call yourself a pagan and not do rituals, spells and celebrate sabbaths. At least in my opinion. It's more than just doing all that, it's a way of life and you are the boss of your own pagan path :D

Näre
05 Nov 2015, 12:41
That's not unnatural either. In fact, it's me - although the enthusiasms never completely die. That's why my flat's full of books - you never know when you'll need that one on ancient galleys or the Samoan grammar...The Samoan grammar sounds extremely tempting.


So maybe there is something going on in your life that blocks the connection?That is more than probable.
Perhaps I'm just not on my "Pagan wave" at the moment. :) (And since I don't do spells or sabbaths, or elaborate rituals there's not always much to choose from. Somehow that doesn't even bother me as much as this feeling of isolation does.)

magusphredde
05 Nov 2015, 19:32
Never have done elaborate rituals ... Most are just a few sticks of incense in the sand and me sitting listening to the surf ... Usually under a full moon ... Sometimes I get ideas, sometimes not ...