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habbalah
04 Dec 2015, 18:07
I've finally realized that in the past few weeks--maybe even in the past few months--I've just been angry all the time. Not at anything in particular, but everything in general. Everything gets under my skin, or weighs heavy on my mind.

I have no idea why. I haven't had a change in medication or health. My long-term health issues are starting to look up a bit because I'm trying a new treatment and my insurance is finally kicking in. I'm moving towards a point of getting my life in as much order as a can, instead of the mess it's been. So why am I so angry?

B. de Corbin
04 Dec 2015, 18:19
I've finally realized that in the past few weeks--maybe even in the past few months--I've just been angry all the time. Not at anything in particular, but everything in general. Everything gets under my skin, or weighs heavy on my mind.

I have no idea why. I haven't had a change in medication or health. My long-term health issues are starting to look up a bit because I'm trying a new treatment and my insurance is finally kicking in. I'm moving towards a point of getting my life in as much order as a can, instead of the mess it's been. So why am I so angry?

Because you are feeling better, which means you have more access to your intrinsic energy.

This is why, contradicting expectations, suicide rates go up for people who begin antidepressants.

I have no good advice to offer you, except to do your best to tough it out, knowing that, eventually, things will arrive at an equilibrium.

I can say that, when I began taking effective meds, I was, at the same time, both better and worse than I was before. There is a period of adjustment. The Dr.s really need to explain this better to their patients.

habbalah
04 Dec 2015, 18:27
Because you are feeling better, which means you have more access to your intrinsic energy.

This is why, contradicting expectations, suicide rates go up for people who begin antidepressants.

I have no good advice to offer you, except to do your best to tough it out, knowing that, eventually, things will arrive at an equilibrium.

I can say that, when I began taking effective meds, I was, at the same time, both better and worse than I was before. There is a period of adjustment. The Dr.s really need to explain this better to their patients.

I'm actually not feeling better, though, heath-wise. The meds are the same, and I've been taking anti-depressants for years. Maybe just feeling better because I have more options now?

B. de Corbin
04 Dec 2015, 18:38
I'm actually not feeling better, though, heath-wise. The meds are the same, and I've been taking anti-depressants for years. Maybe just feeling better because I have more options now?

Even though I've known you for a long time, I'm not comfortable giving much advice :).

For myself, though, I've found that learning the art of "letting go" has solved a lot of similar problems for me.

Medusa
04 Dec 2015, 20:11
You know I see anger as a very useful tool. Have you done something to release some of this anger? Doesn't matter why you have it. Do something like buy some cheap glasses at the 99 cents store and take them out back and smash the hell out of them. Or bang your head to some serious heavy metal. I always feel better. But I'm naturally combative I guess.

Herbert
04 Dec 2015, 20:51
Actually, don't give into your anger. Doing so makes you feel good in the short term, but ends up hard wiring your brain to need release for the anger, which makes you more prone to going ballistic when you can't express it properly. It's why stress balls don't work very well long term.

Medusa
04 Dec 2015, 21:06
Actually, don't give into your anger. Doing so makes you feel good in the short term, but ends up hard wiring your brain to need release for the anger, which makes you more prone to going ballistic when you can't express it properly. It's why stress balls don't work very well long term.

Ever heard of what happens to people who hold their stress in? One such thing..heart attacks, high blood pressure. Something I have already had. It's ok to be angry. It doesn't mean you are going to turn into a raving lunatic. You can be angry in a good controlled way. Jesus now.

habbalah
04 Dec 2015, 22:10
Actually, don't give into your anger. Doing so makes you feel good in the short term, but ends up hard wiring your brain to need release for the anger, which makes you more prone to going ballistic when you can't express it properly. It's why stress balls don't work very well long term.

Releasing angry is necessary for not going ballistic. When I've gone into periods where I couldn't do anything to express any anger, I became self-destructive, because I had nothing else I could turn my anger to.

Right now, I'm more just trying to figure out why everything is pissing me off.

MaskedOne
04 Dec 2015, 22:24
Shrug, if venting anger in non-destructive ways lead to venting anger in destructive ways than I'd be banned by now. That's about all I have to say on that topic.

Regarding the OP...

Contrast?

My distaste for retail multiplied by an order of magnitude after working for a time in a field that's not retail. If things are starting to fall into place then you may be dealing with increased annoyance due to the fact that better long term prospects don't yet meet present day life.

Medusa
04 Dec 2015, 23:24
Actually this disagreement brings up some interesting points. I'm going to go off the reservation and state some opinions from personal experience. I'm not saying it's going on here. But I am saying it goes on.

Women are not allowed to be angry. It's wrong. We may lose our marbles. We are incapable of being angry and in control at the same time. No sky will fall if we get pissed off and vent about it.

When we are forced to be 'nice women' we tend to do very destructive things. Things the outside world cannot see. Things such as over eating/starving oneself/becoming overly sexual/having low self esteem. The list could go on and on about what internal damage we do when we aren't allows to be angry. One big one is cutting. I was a cutter in my teens. Not the kind where you go nuts and slash at your wrists all willy nilly bleeding into the sheets in a panic. Nope. I was a very focused cutter. I would turn on the tv. I would lay a towel down. I would get a nice new blade and I would cut horizontal lines up and down my arms. In perfect space. In perfect red lines. I would look like a train track. I would immediately become calm. Because finally. Finally I could express outwardly what was exploding inwardly.

Only years later and learning to be ok with being angry in a safe way could I stop hurting myself. The only way to learn an emotion and how to handle it is to learn to use it and practice it judiciously.
Stuffing those emotions down do not make you better at handling them.

Anger is not your enemy. And never let someone tell you how to handle your own emotions. You are a sentient being who is the master or mistress of your own censored domain.

:)
http://49.media.tumblr.com/e95bd2a317c632ad00fce24bbf9385ca/tumblr_mloa08X1v91rq3i3ro1_1280.gif

Spiny Norman
05 Dec 2015, 00:24
Right now, I'm more just trying to figure out why everything is pissing me off.

One thing you could try is going somewhere away from people and just shouting and swearing a lot, see what comes up. That can be quite therapeutic if you let yourself go. I used to do it while driving a car sometimes. ;)

iris
05 Dec 2015, 03:04
Actually, don't give into your anger. Doing so makes you feel good in the short term, but ends up hard wiring your brain to need release for the anger, which makes you more prone to going ballistic when you can't express it properly. It's why stress balls don't work very well long term.

I've held in anger for 22 years. I'm now a shaking, nervous wreck. I'm also angry at everything all the time with bo idea howto handle it. So I'll say nop, holding in anger is much worse than releasing it in a safe way. Anger can even be extremely useful when it's used constructively.

It's not as strange as you may think, being angry all the time habbs. The thing is that supressing strong emotion may, in my experience, actually add to the physical pain you're already in. So some form of release would be ideal... just letting go is great, but hard if there's something you need to work through... you might want to try a therapist who could help with that, it can be really hard going it on your own, and they may be able to give you some tools that could help.

Spiny Norman
05 Dec 2015, 03:22
. ..you might want to try a therapist who could help with that, it can be really hard going it on your own, and they may be able to give you some tools that could help.

Many years ago I went to encounter groups, and their thing was punching cushions. They also used role-play as a safe way of expressing repressed emotions.

habbalah
05 Dec 2015, 03:25
Many years ago I went to encounter groups, and their thing was punching cushions.

Hitting things isn't really something I do. I will punch the floor or myself if I'm frustrated in a game, but that's about it. I'm more the pacing/agitated angry type.

Spiny Norman
05 Dec 2015, 03:31
I'm more the pacing/agitated angry type.

One strategy is to develop the opposite, so developing calm would be an antidote to agitation. In my experience being able to fully relax is important, I mean both physically and mentally. Some people find relaxation exercises helpful.

iris
05 Dec 2015, 03:37
Hitting things isn't really something I do. I will punch the floor or myself if I'm frustrated in a game, but that's about it. I'm more the pacing/agitated angry type.

Which is why you might need some help finding tools that work for you. Pacing doesn't really release anything, it expresses it. But it's not gonna help you through it. Probably, finding the root of your anger and working with that is what you need... there's a difference between being angry when something goes wrong, and just feeling angry all the time... I know it's sappy, but you're a great writer, take a blank piece of paper and a pen, and try writing it out. Just see what flows out.

B. de Corbin
05 Dec 2015, 06:43
Well.

I have a 40 year old undergraduate degree in psychology, which qualifies me for absolutely nothing except to be a know-it-all about the brain...

So here goes:

Anger released in an uncontrolled way is both a massive waste of energy, and a temporary fix. Catharsis leaves one feeling spent and tired, and things will build up, requiring repeated catharsis.

Anger which is not released builds up until the one experiencing it can no longer bite it back, and it is very likely to pop out an a bad time.

The middle way is to release the anger in a controlled way. When one does this, the anger is reduced, the energy is harnessed for a useful purpose, and the person ends up feeling energized, becomes more active, and much less angry.

How this is done should depend on the person doing it. Running, long walks, tennis - these all can work, if they are things you like. Personally, I have a punching bag, and beat the crap out of it...

Thrudr
05 Dec 2015, 06:57
One year ago I still lived with my brother in my mother's house. He was a slob and drug addict and it frustrated me a lot. I was angry all the time, even at things that I also could have just brushed off. Then I moved to my own house and all that anger and frustration was gone, because the source of that anger was gone.

So you could search for the source, maybe by meditating. If you know what it is, try to remove that source or limit it's influence on your emotions. I don't know anything about the effects of medicine, so maybe your doctor might have some tips about that.

Spiny Norman
05 Dec 2015, 08:54
Personally, I have a punching bag, and beat the crap out of it...

Many moons ago I bought one of those when I started working as a Probation Officer. ;)

Marradin
06 Dec 2015, 03:35
I have also found that finding the right music can help me release my anger - That or going to my medieval re-enactment training - Running around in armour hitting other people in armour with swords can be VERY cathartic

Spiny Norman
06 Dec 2015, 03:53
That or going to my medieval re-enactment training - Running around in armour hitting other people in armour with swords can be VERY cathartic

That sounds like fun! Do people get hurt though?

Marradin
06 Dec 2015, 18:21
The worst injury I've heard of occurred to me - I got a chipped collarbone and the chip went through a nerve- I now have no feeling on the front shoulder on my right side. NERVE DEATH HURTS btw. We have fewer injuries per 1000 than AFL, soccer, Rugby (League or union). We've never had an on field death. It's basically a martial art with medieval European weapons. We use Armour because the weapons are steel to get the right weight.so you get bruises every time and the occasional cracked rib but nothing serious.

Vanli
11 Dec 2015, 15:31
I have a temper. Enough of one that another of my frequent handles is redheadstemper. For about twelve years, I channeled that anger into other things - namely, countering my anxiety so that I could get through the day. I always knew that wasn't healthy, though, since I wasn't dealing with either. I promised myself I'd stop doing it when I turned eighteen, which I did, and suddenly realised just how bad my temper is. I had much the same issue, of being angry all the time, and while I was looking for other methods to deal with it, I smashed a lot of bottles. 0
One thing we all need to remember, is that humans are violent. It's part of our nature. Not every human is, of course, but it is something we should accept as a fact of our species, and not something to be ashamed of. We channel it into other things: ambition, sports, books, games ... the list goes on, but my point is this: anger is natural. The desire to destroy is natural. Everyone has to find a way to channel their anger and destructive tendencies into something that harms neither themselves nor others, because what works for one person won't work for another.

One thing that I've found works long term, apart from regular meditation, is killing pixels (I refer to it as such to acknowledge both that it's relieving anger and it isn't against something real) before doing something creative. That way I get the anger out, and remind myself that it's not the only thing I can do, or feel. I'm also creative. Other things I do after letting the anger out are hugging puppies and doing something constructive, like housework. Again, it's a reminder that I'm more than my anger and fear, that I'm useful and loved.

So yeah. Find a way to release the anger, that works for you, and then something to do after that makes you feel something positive.

If that doesn't work, maybe a professional, practicing psychologist would be best, rather than armchair psychologists and personal experience advisers like myself ... I'd say try to find your own way first, though.

I hope all of this helps, at least somewhat.

Bartmanhomer
06 Jan 2016, 15:47
Maybe you got IED, Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

habbalah
08 Jan 2016, 08:51
Maybe you got IED, Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

No, I don't think so. IED is characterized by bursts of inappropriate rage. My problem is mostly a constant, low-level irritation. I do at times lose my temper, but I never scream or yell.

r4321
25 Jan 2016, 02:06
The reason why you choose anger can be for quite a few different reasons but this is what you need to figure out. You need to know where your anger is really coming from.


Anger can be a tricky emotion because it's often covering up other issues. Anger is used as a sort of mask. It covers up the true feelings like fear, jealousy, frustration, or annoyance. It's a way of dealing with the situation when you haven't processed the real feelings behind it.


There's always something behind anger. Anger doesn't really come by itself. It's always attached to another emotion. In that sense, anger could be thought of as an intermediate emotion. An event happens, the brain doesn't have time (or doesn't want to) to fully process the situation and it needs a reaction, so anger is what's used until there's more time to examine everything in more detail.

Here 7 different reasons and mentions that could be happening :

1 Fear
2 Powerlessness
3 Frustration
4 Bad habbit
5 Pain from the past
6 Jealousy
7 hurt

habbalah
29 Jan 2016, 15:38
The reason why you choose anger can be for quite a few different reasons but this is what you need to figure out. You need to know where your anger is really coming from.


Anger can be a tricky emotion because it's often covering up other issues. Anger is used as a sort of mask. It covers up the true feelings like fear, jealousy, frustration, or annoyance. It's a way of dealing with the situation when you haven't processed the real feelings behind it.


There's always something behind anger. Anger doesn't really come by itself. It's always attached to another emotion. In that sense, anger could be thought of as an intermediate emotion. An event happens, the brain doesn't have time (or doesn't want to) to fully process the situation and it needs a reaction, so anger is what's used until there's more time to examine everything in more detail.

Here 7 different reasons and mentions that could be happening :

1 Fear
2 Powerlessness
3 Frustration
4 Bad habbit
5 Pain from the past
6 Jealousy
7 hurt

I don't believe I've chosen anger, and if I have, it's definitely not on a conscious level. I don't like being angry. It could be any combination of things, but I wish I could find the heart of it and let it go.

iris
29 Jan 2016, 18:43
I don't believe I've chosen anger, and if I have, it's definitely not on a conscious level. I don't like being angry. It could be any combination of things, but I wish I could find the heart of it and let it go.

You will find it eventually. Have you tried just going with it? It might very well be trying to communicate something. Not saying to go around hitting people :p just allow yourself to really feel it, the reason for it might be hiding in it. Does that make sense?

habbalah
02 Feb 2016, 11:01
You will find it eventually. Have you tried just going with it? It might very well be trying to communicate something. Not saying to go around hitting people :p just allow yourself to really feel it, the reason for it might be hiding in it. Does that make sense?

It makes sense. I just haven't been able to find a single source, since it seems like everything pisses me off lately.

anunitu
02 Feb 2016, 11:07
Perhaps it is not you,just so many things that require you to be pissed off. I find myself screaming at the TV when Mr. Trump opens his pie hole.

Taulmaril
02 Feb 2016, 11:42
Even though I've known you for a long time, I'm not comfortable giving much advice :).

For myself, though, I've found that learning the art of "letting go" has solved a lot of similar problems for me.

Great notion. It is also one of the hardest things for people to do. Letting go of the things one cannot change. Of course this brings to mind the serenity prayer that we use in AA. There is a pagan version of the prayer. The serenity prayer is a valuable tool in keeping me focused on the things that I alone can control, namely me. I have the power to change things only in my own sphere and when I accept that and let the other crap go I can accept that I am where I am supposed to be at this moment. Remember too, your current situation is not your final destination. And with that reminder it helps me to focus again only what I can change. Good luck my friend.

- - - Updated - - -


Many moons ago I bought one of those when I started working as a Probation Officer. ;)

That's a great way to avoid beating the crap out of your probationers that repeatedly screw up.

anunitu
02 Feb 2016, 11:44
The term is shine it on,let it slide,and it can indeed be hard to reach that state. Something that helps is thinking to oneself,in the scheme of things,is this really even worth my attention.

Sounds easy,but sometimes I think we become addicted to our anger,the term righteous anger pops up a lot with people. For some I think,anger is what helps them get through the day,if not angry,then no energy from it.

Taulmaril
02 Feb 2016, 11:46
It makes sense. I just haven't been able to find a single source, since it seems like everything pisses me off lately.

It is more likely something else that is causing the anger and the things that are currently pissing you off are just the foci for that anger.

habbalah
03 Feb 2016, 13:47
It is more likely something else that is causing the anger and the things that are currently pissing you off are just the foci for that anger.

Also entirely possible.

Taulmaril
03 Feb 2016, 14:37
Also entirely possible.

I find that when I am pissed off that most of the time it is because of an event. I used to get pissed when my older son wouldn't listen and what it really boiled down to, was that I was mad because he wouldn't let me have control over whatever situation was going on at the time. So I wasn't so much pissed at him as I was pissed because I didn't have the control.

Bartmanhomer
03 Feb 2016, 14:45
Hey you tried anger management therapy yet? It's works. :)

Azvanna
04 Feb 2016, 18:08
G
It makes sense. I just haven't been able to find a single source, since it seems like everything pisses me off lately.

Hey sorry if this has been said ready but if state of anger is not a lifetime problem
For you, maybe it's hormones? Not PMS, just something your body is going through as it changes.

Willow
09 Feb 2016, 20:22
I've finally realized that in the past few weeks--maybe even in the past few months--I've just been angry all the time. Not at anything in particular, but everything in general. Everything gets under my skin, or weighs heavy on my mind.

I have no idea why. I haven't had a change in medication or health. My long-term health issues are starting to look up a bit because I'm trying a new treatment and my insurance is finally kicking in. I'm moving towards a point of getting my life in as much order as a can, instead of the mess it's been. So why am I so angry?


Did this increase in irritation start happening around the same time your new treatment began? Or was there a time lapse? If there was a time lapse, which came first (the irritation or the treatment) and roughly how much time passed between the two?


Sometimes when we feel trapped or suppressed by things outside our immediate realm of control we learn to ignore it and its effects entirely until something changes that brings those factors back into some semblance of control. And when that possibility of being able to manipulate specific things in our own lives that relate directly to those formerly ignored and suppressed aspects comes around, it also allows all those ignored and pent-up emotions to emerge (because things that really hurt you don't simply go away by themselves without any processing).

Maybe it's a backlash of something(s) that you hadn't been able to feel or process safely before, but now that you have some relief in those areas your mind is allowing those emotions to come through so they can be processed properly.