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Shahaku
22 May 2016, 18:51
So, my daughter is 2 now.. kinda hard to believe actually. I'm starting to think she's faking pain. When I lay her down for naps or bedtime she really fights us. And she's started complaining about things hurting. Her teeth hurt, but only when we're putting her to bed. Her finger hurts, but only when we're putting her to bed. Her back, leg, elbow, face, head. She literally picks a body part and says it hurts. It's different every day. Sometime two or three at one time. I'm almost positive that she's faking, but concerned enough to be considering a doctor. I did a little Googling and I haven't really found anything about kids that young faking this sort of thing (it seems to typically be school age) and I haven't really heard of it in toddlers before, which is part of what worries me.

Any of you go through this phase? What'd you do?

Medusa
22 May 2016, 19:11
I am not a parent. With that I do have a question. Where is she getting the idea to say she's 'hurt'? I say this with my experience as a kid growing up with a grandmother and a mother with lots of medical issues. Not realizing it, I probably said I was having 'headaches' way more then I should have simply because I was mimicking what was heard around me and seeing the attention they got.

thalassa
23 May 2016, 07:29
That's pretty common for toddlers and preschoolers. Also common is making themselves sick on purpose--crying or screaming to the point of gagging and even puking, hyperventilating, headbanging, etc. Only you can really say whether its a meltdown (a frustration driven legitimate sensory overload) or a tantrum (an attention seeking behavior for the purpose of getting one's way). The more attention you bring to it, the more likely they are to repeat it--they learn pretty fast what gets a reaction.

My babysitter's kid figured out around the same age that she figured out that could make herself hyperventilate until she puked or scream until she puked. Naptime and bedtime were her favorites for this, also when she had to turn off the TV or take a bath.

anubisa
23 May 2016, 07:51
When we moved to WV and my sister had anger problems my mom took us to a psychologist and went herself to get help. My sister would bite me and scream and throw temper tantrums. It was crazy. I'm not a mother either. I'm not suggesting you take your child to a psychologist either. However, you might want to keep putting her in bed at the same time and see if she quits it after a couple of weeks. I would think it would go away. My mother started ignoring (well not truly ignoring) my sister's tantrums, letting her throw them and just exhaust herself. So, it might be something like having to let her wear herself out with this idea of faking sickness.

Shahaku
23 May 2016, 08:58
I know her daytime sitter gets migraines occasionally, so the head pain could come from that, as to where she heard it. We have to women who have nasty period cramps every month in our household, and my husband has back issues. We don't really hide any of that from her and she is at an age where she picks that sorry of thing up.

She gets hugs from everybody and I usually go say her prayer with her and give her a couple minutes of cuddles, a book reading etc and then we leave her in her room. She's basically cried herself to sleep for a year now. We've never given her attention for that behavior. We'll do quick checks if she's sounding too worked up and we're worried, but that's it.

Tylluan Penry
23 May 2016, 14:05
Does she ever complain of pain when she's doing something she enjoys?

thalassa
24 May 2016, 01:41
Does she ever complain of pain when she's doing something she enjoys?


^this is the real test of whether or not she's actually in pain! :p

anunitu
24 May 2016, 02:09
As everyone knows,raising kids is not for the faint of heart...Kids are a test for your becoming a saint:cool:

Tylluan Penry
24 May 2016, 02:34
As everyone knows,raising kids is not for the faint of heart...Kids are a test for your becoming a saint:cool:
Or in my case for becoming a bloody old bat! ;)

Shahaku
24 May 2016, 06:58
Does she ever complain of pain when she's doing something she enjoys?

Not that I've noticed. She complains about her legs hurting every now and then during the day, but she's also full of toddler bruises from all the stumbling/bumping/running to fast and falling things toddlers do.

Tylluan Penry
24 May 2016, 08:04
Not that I've noticed. She complains about her legs hurting every now and then during the day, but she's also full of toddler bruises from all the stumbling/bumping/running to fast and falling things toddlers do.
Then I suspect what you described in the original post is a bit of a try on. That said, keep an eye on her as I am sure you will! But a really sick child feels ill no matter what they're doing.

faye_cat
24 May 2016, 08:20
My toddlers faked pain. I know I've heard other stories about it. My nieces and nephew have for sure faked it at that age.

I don't know if you have a bedtime routine down. If so, maybe give a bit of a gap between that and actually laying down. So, for example, get in pajamas, brush teeth, pick out clothes for tomorrow, etc, and then say "Okay, 10 minutes to wind down/read/draw/etc". If she was complaining before getting ready for bed but then completely fine while playing, then complaining again when you actually tucked her in on a consistent basis, then she's probably faking it, especially if her story about where it hurts changes.

Or, you could give her "medicine" (a gummy vitamin, or something similar, maybe even a (fancy) thing of water (lemon, or infused, flavored, whathaveyou) to ease her mind ("And don't forget this! This will help you not be sick!). A stuffed animal or sachet that smells good might even help if you spin the right story, or spray lavender or something on the pillow. A lot of time toddlers exaggerate, especially when they only have a concept and don't quite understand it. If she sees a lot of people doing it, she might either feel left out, or think that it's normal to do that. Possibly start (if you haven't already) explaining to her various health issues, and then comment casually that it's a good thing she doesn't have them yet, or something.

And of course, a doctor visit wouldn't hurt regardless just to make sure nothing is wrong! I know we usually go once a year for a check up and stuff, so mention that the next time you are there if you don't want to schedule a separate appointment.

anunitu
25 May 2016, 05:57
I do not remember clearly if this came up with My and my ex's kids,but it is possible. I never used corporal punishment with the kids,instead talking things out. Funny as an adult,my son told me he hated the "Talks" and would have gone for the spanking instead...so it seems the "Talk" had some effect on him.