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kalynraye
11 Jul 2016, 16:15
So I have been actively doing my research and reading books and doing all the things new moms are supposed to do right now. Well probably not all but I'm getting there. I threw away my "What to expect when expecting" because I thought it was a load of bs. There was some useful information in there but IMO it is no wonder most women want to walk around in a bubble when they are pregnant. That book basically tells you everything is bad for you. Don't do this, don't do that. I wanted to scream.

Anyway off topic. One of the big things lots of websites and new mom fb groups talks about is doing freezer meals for after the baby gets here. Is this something you guys did? I know that I am not going to have time to do a lot of things after he is here, and cooking will be at the bottom of my list but I don't see the point in prepping enough meals for 2 months. I mean I have a husband who cooks for a living. He knows how and has no problem doing the cooking. So what seemed to work for you. Does it just take the worry out of figuring out dinner? I don't get it. So thoughts and or opinions.

Azvanna
11 Jul 2016, 16:38
... That book basically tells you everything is bad for you. Don't do this, don't do that. I wanted to scream.
Get used to it! Everyone has an opinion when you're pregnant (especially your first pregnancy) on what you should and shouldn't be doing. I can see you getting so fired up! hehe.

I did frozen meals for both of mine, but not enough for two months. My husband, however, is not gifted in the kitchen! We also had a few people from my church drop around a meal each for the first week. It made a huge difference to our sanity! Having a newborn was as much a change in routine for me as it was for my husband, so any help we got was hugely appreciated. Even if we didn't really need the meals, it was nice to have time to do something else (like have a shower or some other luxurious fun thing!). IMO, it's worth doing a few just so both of you have time to get your head around your totally new way of life! Bless this mess!

faye_cat
11 Jul 2016, 17:01
Freezer meals are good...if you have the space. I'm not sure your living space, but they weren't always practical, such as in an apartment or a house with a simple fridge/freezer combo.

With my first two, it was fine having my husband cook. But with the third one, he and both of the older boys came down with 100+ degree fevers the day I came home from the hospital, so there was a lot of take out and delivery food. And then I ended up getting really sick from something, and being unable to make myself more than a bit of heated food or a sandwich.

If you go the way of freezer food, make sure it's simple meals you can easily heat up and serve, and not just prepped food that is ready to cook. Have good healthy snacks you can just grab throughout the day (washed fruit and veggies, cheese, etc) and then stuff you can keep near where you will be resting so that if you do get really tired you can just reach a hand out and munch. I agree that two months of prepped food is overkill, but it doesn't hurt to have something for those bad days where nothing goes right and you're exhausted.

thalassa
11 Jul 2016, 18:53
So I have been actively doing my research and reading books and doing all the things new moms are supposed to do right now. Well probably not all but I'm getting there. I threw away my "What to expect when expecting" because I thought it was a load of bs. There was some useful information in there but IMO it is no wonder most women want to walk around in a bubble when they are pregnant. That book basically tells you everything is bad for you. Don't do this, don't do that. I wanted to scream.

Worst pregnancy book ever. When people ask bout that book I tell them to throw it away.

Your pregnancy week by week is far better.

All the what to expect... books suck :/



Anyway off topic. One of the big things lots of websites and new mom fb groups talks about is doing freezer meals for after the baby gets here.
Internet mom groups tend to suck too...


And the first pregnancy is paved with great intentions the are largely a waste of worry and effort and only work out for Donna Reed and the Pioneer Woman.

Don't get me wrong, every experience is different, but I've only once or twice seen a new mom experience that fits the hype--once in a multiples birth, and the other with. Special needs baby. Most of the new mom problems I've seen come from new moms that can't relax and go with the flow.

Babies are squishy eat-poop--sleep-cry machines (we'd eat our own young if they weren't cute) until they start sitting up, babbling, and then crawling.



Is this something you guys did? I know that I am not going to have time to do a lot of things after he is here, and cooking will be at the bottom of my list but I don't see the point in prepping enough meals for 2 months. I mean I have a husband who cooks for a living. He knows how and has no problem doing the cooking. So what seemed to work for you. Does it just take the worry out of figuring out dinner? I don't get it. So thoughts and or opinions.

Freezer meals are their own kind of work, and, IMO, not worth it for that. When it's worth is, is once you go back to work, hubby is working, and the last thing you want to do is cook and (more importantly, clean up from cooking) after a long day at work.

Add school and homework and after-school activities , and freezer meals become with the effort (and the chest freezer you'll need) once pre-K hits.



TBH, I think the first 6 months of the first child is the easiest part of parenting...which amuses me how terrible people make it out to be. I got more sleep than I did the last 2 months I was pregnant. I got in more WoW and gym time, my house was clean--babies sleep a lot at first. If I HD "slept when the baby slept", I'd have had something like 18 hours of sleep a day. I'lol be honest, I laugh when people complain about how hard your average brand new baby it because (even with colic), we swaddled and used a sling, and (thanks to division of labor because I couldn't breastfeed, I pumped) I only had to wake up once a night (to pump). I fed Phee before I went to bed, around 7-8 Scott fed her about 2-3 hours later when he went to bed, I woke up around 2 to pump, change her, and feed her, and then back to sleeping he took her when he woke up, letting me sleep in. Not getting at least 5 hours through of sleep (and then another 3-4 hours afterward) was pretty abnormal, and it's probably more sleep than I've gotten since (and the kids are nearly 10 and 8).


Pardon me for being bitchy, I'm sweating buckets, and it's too damn quiet ....effing t-storms knocks out the whole town--downed power lines.

Shahaku
12 Jul 2016, 15:36
I feel like having enough prepped for the first week home isn't a bad idea. You'll be tired and recovering. And there's a good chance your husband will be tired too. But other than that, not really. Trying to have some pre prepped food for the first week back to work isn't a bad idea either. The idea is to have just a little less stress during transition periods.

kalynraye
13 Jul 2016, 15:53
A lot of the New Mom stuff I read is horror stories, or the group I'm in same thing. Significant Other doesn't help, you never have time to take a shower because child is always in need. No sleeping ever, and then its "15 things to insure you have a meaningful maternity leave."

I get the basic idea behind the freezer meal but I don't know if they feel the need to do so much prep work because their other half doesn't help at all or if because they are really freaked out. I asked why everyone was so keen on them and got tons of backlash. Healthy quick snacks are on the other hand a great idea, even having a few for the first few days would work for me as well.

thalassa
13 Jul 2016, 18:14
And I think this is the problem...people buy into this effed up hype over this--being a new parent becomes this "my struggle was worse than yours, so I'm the better parent" subtext. It's bullshit. If you need to shower, take the damn shower. Yes, even if it means putting a crying baby that is been changed and fed down, still crying. It takes like15 minutes to shower....the world will not end of the baby cries for 15 minutes...or cook a freaking meal...or lay down and snooze. If you can't breastfeed, don't breast feed, your kid won't know the difference and neither will anyone else by the time they are out of diapers. If you have to have a c-section, have the damn c-section...at least you have a baby to take home*--another one where no one will know the difference.

We've made parenting to be part of some terrible yuppy-esque social competition, thanks to the internet...moms in those groups are generally are worse than trolls. Everything you choose to do differently is some personal assault on their ability and commitment as a parent.

You have to choose your sanity first. Period. If you don't, you can't parent effectively. If you don't it gets in the way of bonding, of enjoying this time, of recovering, and of readjusting your family dynamics (TBH, I've seen a lot of men be "no help"...but I've seen more men be pushed out of the picture that want to help and either don't know what to do or aren't given clear direction and a chance to figure it out).

You have to do what works for you...and you don't owe anyone a justification for that, if it's working. If you have horror stories, it's obviously not working...

Hubby and I had 5 pregnancies, 3 births, and 2 kids without family support, while both of us were on active duty. I've had at least a dozen female sailors that worked for me (and a a few guys) have kids, and have all sorts of experiences. The people that have the best experience are the ones that are flexible and don't have a pre-programmed idea of what parenting will be. If that means freezer meals, than go for it. If that means getting your groceries delivered, then go for it (I like the online order and drive up pickup). Whatever works.


*I've seen number of women that let their birth experience and new mom experience color their identity as mothers...and it always make me sad. My first pregnancy was a stillbirth at 26 weeks, and it was a vaginal delivery. Chickadee and Sharkbait were both C-section's. I'll take the last two outcomes anyday over the mythical nirvanah of natural childbirth. Due to breast reduction surgery, neither kid was interested in finding a la breast...which left pumping, which is fairly terrible. I learned, after an in-the-hospital guilt trip from the milk nazi (followed by a tearful phone call with my mom, a pediatric nurse practitioner), that what is "best" is what makes you not feel like shit. Motherhood is already enough of a sacrifice, don't make it more of one by doing things that won't be helpful to you. If freezer meals don't make sense to you, don't do them. Personally, we usually don't eat them at all. Or we make them and eat a bit, but throw the rest out. It's generally just a waste of time, money, and food in our house.

...lining up family and friends to help clean house for the first week or so, and to motivate you to walk and "work out" (have had back-to-back C-section's, the sooner you move, the sooner you can move without pain...any l&d nurse will tell you that the longer you sit/lay around, the longer your recovery will take) can be a big help. Also, babysitting.

B. de Corbin
13 Jul 2016, 23:24
Anyway off topic. One of the big things lots of websites and new mom fb groups talks about is doing freezer meals for after the baby gets here. Is this something you guys did? I know that I am not going to have time to do a lot of things after he is here, and cooking will be at the bottom of my list but I don't see the point in prepping enough meals for 2 months. I mean I have a husband who cooks for a living. He knows how and has no problem doing the cooking. So what seemed to work for you. Does it just take the worry out of figuring out dinner? I don't get it. So thoughts and or opinions.

Don't do it.

Was never a problem for K'Roe & me - I have mad cooking skills, so I also buy the groceries and manage everything that has to do with the kitchen.

But... if you get into a problem, there is luchmeat and bread, hotdogs, hamburgers, mac & cheese, frozen lasgna, those salsibury kangaroo-meat steaks, eggos, pizza, frozen pot pies.. ad infinitum.

Why knock yourself out while pregnant doing something that has already been done? There may even be healthy frozen food out there, somewhere, if you look, but, if not, be bad for a while until you get back on your feet.

Screw what "the experts" have to say. They get paid for saying it, and if they don't keep coming up with new crap, they stop getting paid. Go with the flow, man, go with the flow!

Hawkfeathers
14 Jul 2016, 07:13
When I was working long hours and going to grad school, on Sundays I'd cook a few boneless chicken breasts, wrap each individually and freeze. I bought a decent quality frozen veggies (the kind with no sauce etc.) I'd occasionally make a big pot of pasta sauce (with meat & peppers) and freeze in containers, or a tray of lasagna or baked ziti, same. This way I'd have decent meals whenever I got home. don't remember grocery stores selling fully cooked rotisserie chickens back then - those are usually cheaper than buying an uncooked chicken!

If it's something you want to do, you can go on a little frenzy and make a few dishes at once, and one big cleanup, in a few hours you'll have a lot. If not, it's not worth the stress!

DanieMarie
14 Jul 2016, 09:30
I used to make meals in big batches when I was working a lot of hours. I can't speak for having a child, but when I was pressed for time with other things, it was really helpful.

Sometimes I'd freeze leftovers in portions as well. That way if things got hectic for a day, I could just thaw out dinner for the night.

kalynraye
14 Jul 2016, 11:17
slkdfjgsflkgjriogjeoigjsdlfgjslgj.... where the hell is my autosave when I need it???? 20 mins of typing and it all disappears cause I hit the wrong key... Short version. I don't get the need to complete and raise yourself up over parenting. Just raise a decent human being. I want a healthy, happy kid. Do you boo boo!

I think I will at the very least have a meal plan, I menu plan anyway so why not have one for the first 2 weeks? I'll plan for frozen meals, for sandwiches and I'll plan for takeout. I like good takeout anyway!

Hawkfeathers
14 Jul 2016, 11:35
There are also a lot of good recipes around for crockpot meals, where you can prep stuff ahead and freeze it all together, then just put in the slow cooker with water or something, and go.

Everything seems so competitive these days, and I hear so much all of a sudden about moms this and moms that. It's not my imagination. Don't let it get to you - do what's right for you & yours and all will be well!