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B. de Corbin
10 Feb 2017, 04:59
Definition: Alpha woman - a woman who makes decisions (as near as I can figure from the context)


Indeed, my mother was the quintessential alpha wife. An alpha wife micromanages, delegates and makes most or even all of the decisions. She is, quite simply, the Boss.

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love (http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/02/08/society-is-creating-new-crop-alpha-women-who-are-unable-to-love.html)

From the article:


But my alpha ways were bumping up against his alpha nature. We were like two bulls hanging out in the same pen together, and there was too much friction. And because I had zero interest in my husband adopting a more feminine role, I set about to become the feminine creature our culture insists women not be.

And hereís what I learned: Itís liberating to be a beta!

I think the idea being expressed (it's never quite made clear) is that, in a marriage, somebody has to wear the pants, and, no matter how assertive the woman is in general, that pant wearer must be the man, or you'll screw up your marriage.

Wadda ya think about them apples?

anunitu
10 Feb 2017, 05:13
I have never understood the need for one or the other partner to be dominant. Equal seems good to me. Biblical thought seems to require the Male to always be on top...snakes and apples being the causative factor.

Hawkfeathers
10 Feb 2017, 06:40
Before I got married, he and I talked about who would do what, and agreed on things. Once we got married, he didn't do his part. He honestly assumed all that conversation was just hogwash and that "of course" I'd do it all. Wrong. In his eyes that made me an Alpha. I was simply sticking to my word and expecting the same in return.

Point is, there's a lot of room for definition, and it's very subjective.

kalynraye
10 Feb 2017, 07:07
No no a woman's job at home no matter if she is an alpha in the everyday world is to make sure we don't hurt our husbands feelings. That we let him lead the way in the home. Sooth his male ego... and though she says they are stupid I feel that's exactly what she is saying. I need to mull this over a bit more.

MaskedOne
10 Feb 2017, 07:09
I think gender stereotypes abound through that article alongside anecdotes treated as statistics. As the plural of anecdote is not statistic and anecdotal evidence is shaky on a good day, I feel no need to give credence to conclusions based on it.

B. de Corbin
10 Feb 2017, 08:27
I think gender stereotypes abound through that article alongside anecdotes treated as statistics. As the plural of anecdote is not statistic and anecdotal evidence is shaky on a good day, I feel no need to give credence to conclusions based on it.

I understand the idea that was expressed - that two people who continuously battle over each decision = the very definition of conflict, but I also couldn't help noticing the gender stereotypes that litter the writing. IMHO - if you remove the stereotyping (assumptions that all members of a class are the same) there was nothing left in the article...

MaskedOne
10 Feb 2017, 08:49
I understand the idea that was expressed - that two people who continuously battle over each decision = the very definition of conflict, but I also couldn't help noticing the gender stereotypes that litter the writing. IMHO - if you remove the stereotyping (assumptions that all members of a class are the same) there was nothing left in the article...

If the message had been something nice and simple like, "You can't micromanage everything. Compromise is good." Then I'd be more merciful in my opinion. As is, shrug, the most merciful I'm willing to be is the position that the author appears to have found something that works for her but that her answer is not necessarily anywhere close to appropriate for everyone else.

Dumuzi
10 Feb 2017, 09:33
The problem is that the term Alpha can be very blurry in terms of what it means. And I do mean that from both sides. People will be called Alpha if they have sound opinions backed with strong arguments. At the same time, some people like to call themselves alpha, when they are just being assholes. And I'm talking about both males and females here.

Can 'insert term here' love? Of course! Love is a human emotion that mostly everyone experiences. It's not just limited to partners, but can extend to friends, family, pets and even objects.

Can an 'alpha' woman have a good marriage? Yes and no. Just like the non 'alpha' women, it all depends on the two people involved in that marriage. And it has NOTHING to do with who wears the pants. It has nothing to do with the myth that two 'alpha' people can't have a good relationship.

I'll use an example I've been reading about since some time. Aisha, the mother of believers, as her title says, was the wife of Muhammad, the man whom Muslims believe was the messenger of God.

This woman was a leader in every sense of the word. No one was more 'alpha' than her, and I'm including the men here. She was a political leader that most of the Muslim army obeyed after the death of Muhammad, peace be upon him. And she was a religious authority that scholars from all around the world went to to study under. She was the person whom Muhammad, peace be upon him, said about her, that we should learn half of our religion from her. Which is why most of what we know about Muhammad, peace be upon him, comes from her.

Even in her married life, she would have disagreements with Muhammad and then demand from him to bring someone to judge between them. Again, consider the fact that she believed he was a messenger of god. And then she would demand this judge to be her own father. And in one occasion he asks her, "Should I speak first, or you, Aisha." Then she said, "You speak first, but you better only say the truth!" Again, don't forget, this is the man who SHE believes is a messenger of god, and still she would speak like this to him.

In short, she was the OG. And still she had one of the best relationships in history. She had nothing but good things to say about her husband and how they lived together. She had many narrations claiming he loved no one as much as her. When he died, he died in her house, in her arms.

So whenever someone tells you as a woman, or tries to convince you to be anything else that a leader, role model or use your god given right to use your mind to make strong arguments, please bring Aisha to your aid and shove that example in their face!

Medusa
10 Feb 2017, 15:27
Sometimes (read often) we confuse alpha with the term bitch.

B. de Corbin
10 Feb 2017, 15:38
Sometimes (read often) we confuse alpha with the term bitch.

In some cases, bastard.

Juniper
11 Feb 2017, 01:26
lol Fox News.

I like this one better: Oh No, You Guys, I Think I Might Be an Alpha Woman (http://www.portlandmercury.com/blogtown/2017/02/09/18840840/oh-no-you-guys-i-think-i-might-be-an-alpha-woman)

Hawkfeathers
11 Feb 2017, 06:35
I am the Alpha and the Omega, and I like it that way. LOL

B. de Corbin
11 Feb 2017, 08:38
lol Fox News.

I like this one better: Oh No, You Guys, I Think I Might Be an Alpha Woman (http://www.portlandmercury.com/blogtown/2017/02/09/18840840/oh-no-you-guys-i-think-i-might-be-an-alpha-woman)

LOL - that was a good response ;)

Medusa
11 Feb 2017, 15:56
I used to shop at Alpha Beta. Does that count?:p

thalassa
14 Feb 2017, 10:15
1) Using wolf pack dynamics to describe human relationships is stupid.
2) Micromanaging is not an example of effective "leadership" or "being in charge"
3) Just because something works/doesn't work for you doesn't make it universal
4) Femininity isn't weak or submissive, nor is submission or weakness feminine.
5) The opposite of weakness and submissiveness is not masculinity.

I could go on, but I think that's a good start for now.

B. de Corbin
14 Feb 2017, 11:59
Where love rules, there is no will to power;
and where power predominates,
there love is lacking.
The one is the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung

I think the above pretty much sums it up for me, but with more clarity that I can generally muster.