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View Full Version : Losing my shit...



Roknrol
19 May 2011, 12:22
So things are somehow worse.

Not just in life, but in my head.

I don't know what happened...maybe it's just the stress of losing my job and quitting smoking, but twice this week I completely lost my shit in a situation that didn't warrant it (broke my hand in a couple of places when I broke the door on monday...was only just able to keep from hitting something while I was screaming at the teenager a few minutes ago).

It is not normal for me to lose it like that. I'm screaming...face getting red, spitting while I'm screaming...it's taking every ounce of my energy to prevent from doing anything really stupid.

I have no idea what to do. It sneaks up on me...I'm fine and then someone says the "wrong" thing (which may only be an irritation, although both times it's happened I've felt justified in being pissed, just not in the extent).

I don't know what to do. Obviously I NEED to find a job...I can't live on air and fairy farts, but I REALLY don't think that I'm stable enough to do that right now. I don't feel safe or secure.

I don't know what to do.

DanieMarie
19 May 2011, 14:01
:( :(

Is there some sort of free counseling in your area? Maybe even something like a job seekers support group? Sometimes frustration can manifest itself in anger and it's hard to deal with that alone.

Or, alternately, go to the thrift store and get a bunch of plates. Find a nice, deserted parking lot and break them one by one. Take the pieces and make a mosaic piece.

Tylluan Penry
19 May 2011, 14:05
Reallly sorry to hear this Rok.... hope it clears soon. Anger can be an 'early warning' of a lot of things, and stress doesn't help either. From what you say, you seem to have a lot of both. Are you sleeping okay? 'Sleeping it off' doesn't just apply to alcohol, sometimes it can be a brilliant defence against other things too. And walking (somewhere you're unlikely to run into anyone who will annoy you) is another good method of calming yourself.

Keep in touch, and I do hope things get better for you. {{{{HUGS}}}}

Roknrol
19 May 2011, 14:55
:( :(

Is there some sort of free counseling in your area?Not that I've found - there are cheap ones, but we're already living outside of our budget (unemployment pays about $1000 less a month than I was making, which was less than what we needed already). Everyone is trying to make a buck right now.


Maybe even something like a job seekers support group? Sometimes frustration can manifest itself in anger and it's hard to deal with that alone.You are likely correct...my family isn't very good at being supportive. I think being unemployed is biting me twice - once because I haven't got an income, so of course there's that pressure, but again when I'm stuck at home all day dealing with the shit that I used to be able to "escape" from by going to work.

I have calmed down since writing the initial post. Pot helps.


Or, alternately, go to the thrift store and get a bunch of plates. Find a nice, deserted parking lot and break them one by one. Take the pieces and make a mosaic piece.When I'm *not* actually in the middle of being pissed off, I don't feel any need to vent or release or anything like that. I tried leaving the other day when I was pissed...just to get out of the house. I almost wrecked my bike within about a block and a half of the house. Figured that, despite trying to quit smoking, buying a pack of cloves was probably less likely to get my ass killed.

---------- Post added at 03:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:50 PM ----------


Reallly sorry to hear this Rok.... hope it clears soon. Anger can be an 'early warning' of a lot of things, and stress doesn't help either. From what you say, you seem to have a lot of both. None of that is really "new" or "news" though... :p


Are you sleeping okay? Define "sleeping ok". Seriously. Sleeping ok compared to what? Compared to how I was sleeping before I lost my job? Not really any different. I get anywhere from 5-8 hours of sleep a night/day, and since losing my job I haven't really stuck to a schedule at all. I'll usually head to bed around 4am and wake up around 10am or so, but that varies depending on whether or not I have something going on the next day.



'Sleeping it off' doesn't just apply to alcohol, sometimes it can be a brilliant defence against other things too. That used to work for me. I end up spending most of my time so tense, though, that sleeping doesn't really happen unless I'm exhausted. Once again, though, pot helps.


And walking (somewhere you're unlikely to run into anyone who will annoy you) is another good method of calming yourself. This helped the other day...ran 5 miles on the treadmill. I don't want to be that sore every time I get pissed off :p

I appreciate the suggestions folks...I don't expect my problems to be solved, I just needed to vent and am limited on safe outlets...

perzephone
19 May 2011, 17:19
((hugs))

I hope you find a way to work it all out. You're a good person, don't let something like unemployment ruin that.

DanieMarie
20 May 2011, 00:10
Maybe a quitting smoking group then? There has to be lots of those!

Tylluan Penry
20 May 2011, 01:35
Sometimes giving voice to your anger and frustrations is part of the healing process. When I said 'sleeping ok,' I simply meant did you feel you got enough sleep or did you feel that you were not getting enough? What's enough for one person may not be enough for another, and from what you say you're a bit of a night owl. It differs a lot from person to person. To be honest when things are really bad you just do the best you can and hope for the best. Not great advice I know, but honest. There is no magic pill, therapy or spell that will do much more than that. Fix your sights on the light at the end of the tunnel (or maybe just the tunnel itself if things are really bad) and keep on going.

And I really do wish you all the best Rok. It must be awful for you.

Dez
20 May 2011, 07:05
I don't have anything to say to help, Rok...but you have done this before, and it turned out ok. I think part of the intense stress is because you just went through all this shit so recently. *Hugs*

LadyGarnetRose
24 May 2011, 13:55
Maybe we could have a quit smoking group here, rant at each other when needed.

kijani
25 May 2011, 03:35
Oh man, I know you've been going through a rough time. I wish there was something that I could do to help. Gimme a call if you ever need to rant or anything. I know that feeling, and sometimes its just good to have an outlet or something to focus on that isn't in the immediate area. Does that make sense?

Hawkfeathers
26 May 2011, 16:17
Sorry to hear this.....hang in there.

penny
09 Aug 2012, 21:43
Quite sad:(Reallly sorry to hear this Rok.... hope it clears soon. Anger can be an 'early warning' of a lot of things, and stress doesn't help either. From what you say, you seem to have a lot of both. Are you sleeping okay? 'Sleeping it off' doesn't just apply to alcohol, sometimes it can be a brilliant defence against other things too