View Full Version : Has this happened to anyone else...?

01 Jul 2012, 19:14
Whenever I have fellow Wiccan friends who are male, we end up fighting a lot. I'll get really depressed and bad things will start happening, but as soon as they are out of my life things get better. It also happens with them, they get depressed and their lives start getting harder. I've been teaching myself tolerance techniques to just let go of the things that make us fight and avoid the fights, but it's hard sometimes. We don't always fight either, just knowing each other will make things harder.

Why does this happen, and is there a way to fix it? I really want to have male friends, but it just doesn't seem possible at all.

01 Jul 2012, 19:35
This happen with guys in general or is it very specific to Wiccan/Pagan/etc guys?

01 Jul 2012, 20:05
Just Wiccan/ Pagans, ect. They seem to be the only type of guys I really talk to.

01 Jul 2012, 20:13
Could it be the area you're in? I haven't spent much time in the northeast (Maine, NH, Vermont), but from what I've heard from friends who've lived there, it's kind of old-fashioned/conservative. People tend to stick to their gender roles. Men are men, they're raised to be self-sufficient, to keep their feelings to themselves, women are women, they're meant to flock together & be protected by men but kind of kept separate, that kind of thing. Of course, most of my former northeastern friends are around my age, that 35 - 50 age bracket, so I don't know if it's still an impression that's holding true or if the northeast is developing new attitudes and social environments.

01 Jul 2012, 20:15
I'm not sure if it's the area, something like that shouldn't cause such extreme emotionally problems.

01 Jul 2012, 21:04
If you've had a bad experience with someone who would fit the bill of a male pagan that might explain it. Or just a male in general, since you said male pagans seem to be the kind of guy you hang out with most. Has there ever been an exception to that negativity? And how do you feel about pagan women?

01 Jul 2012, 21:10
Well I had an ex who was what I called a Devil's minion. He is an incubus/werewolf and a very mean one at that, he used me for 9 months and I was treated badly by him. But my best friend is male and we get along great, but that might be because I see him as female.
My friend becca, I love her so much and she's wiccan. I feel for two other girls who are wiccan even though i've never dated a girl because I am still grasping the fact that I even like girls like that. Most men repulse me unless they are gay.

02 Jul 2012, 08:20
I think you may have answered your own question in that last sentence, Ementine.

02 Jul 2012, 08:21
Could I ask how old you are, if you don't mind?

It sounds as though there are some maturity issues at play. You and them also seem to have a very specific idea of what it means to be pagan that might not be accurate. Many of the things you're describing are hotly debated and not considered real ( or taken much less literally) by many pagans.

Tylluan Penry
02 Jul 2012, 09:32
At the risk of you saying that I'm heartless, your ex was unlikely to be a devil's minion, nor was he a fruity combination of incubus and werewolf. He was more likely to be a pig, a bully and a user who didn't really care about you. And therein lies the problem... you really are over-reacting.

So... take a deep breath. Maybe you don't like straight guys. Maybe you don't get on with male pagans or wiccans. And personally, if I come across things I don't like, I give them a wide berth. As should you. And good luck :)