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Wenny
19 Mar 2015, 05:40
A couple of months one of my best friends and I had a huge falling out. Being each others friend we knew what hurt the most and neither of us held back.

Well her boyfriend proposed to her and he asked my husband to be his best man. My husband and daughter are invited to the wedding but I am not. My husband doesn't want to let his best friend down but doesn't want to go without me. We also don't know if "we" send a gift or just him and little Wenny.

What should we do?

iris
19 Mar 2015, 09:47
Must have been quite a falling out to keep you apart. It depends on how you feel about it... to me, there's no doubt your husband should go if his friend needs him there. Their friendship shouldn't suffer because their wives don't get along. If you're mad at her for whatever happened and don't want your name on the gift, don't... if you want to give them a gift, do. Be the one to reach out by showing you still care.

Sinned
08 Sep 2015, 13:13
Hi Wenny, as a couple it is only natural you want to attend these kind of events together.. But you need to remember that emotions tend to run high around weddings and causing added friction now may be further lasting damage to your friendship.

Give your 'friend' some space and let your man give support to his friend. And sure, pop your name on the gift, or maybe sign it off as being "from both of us" / "from the three of us" / "from the family" so not to draw attention to you specifically. if you were close friends before I'm assuming that deep down you both want to fix the void between you.. So this is a nice subtle reminder that you are thinking of your friend... It's like a "no pressure" step in the right direction.

Plus.. Life's too short to stay angry/hold a grudge.

Hope this helps x

thalassa
09 Sep 2015, 03:15
Sorry, but this is the most rediculously pathetic and Bridezilla thing to do. I don't care whose "fault" the fight is, you don't invite half a family unit to a wedding. Especially when there's a kid involved and a member of the wedding party. Pouting by a grown woman is spiteful.

Let him go, but depending on the age of your kiddo, keep her at home...he can't watch her if he's *in* the wedding. Sign the gift because at least one of you can be a grown-up.


TBH, I feel sorry for the hubby-to-be...your hubby absolutely needs to be there so he knows someone has his back if it all goes horribly wrong... Someone that holds this much of a grudge would (IMO) be a terrible person to marry.

kowalsky
15 Sep 2015, 20:21
Why you husband and daughter are invited to the wedding but you not? you need to know the reason and try to fix it.

DragonsFriend
16 Sep 2015, 15:37
If my wife was excluded to a wedding and I was called on to be the best man, I would show the respect for my "friend" and my wife by stating that If it was important for me to be there then my wife would be with me. That puts the decision back in his court.
It is disrespectful to the wife if I accept the terms as given. I would never disrespect my wife.