Here we go again...although this time, being backed up on my computer. It still makes me rather sad to realize that there's so much of what was going on for me last fall that is lost because I didn't hang on to a copy.

Where am I at right now, as far as religion? Still rather nebulous. At this point, I believe in an Ultimate Divine, although I can't say what form he/she/it takes.

Closer to home are the experiences I seem to want to attribute to the Norse gods. A stance on them that is sort of similar to ancestor worship still makes the most sense. I don't have day-to-day interaction, but it doesn't feel needed, or like I'm somehow less if that's what is happening.

I'm getting ready for a bit of a scene with L's family, though. MIL noticed that I no longer wear LDS garments, and has started finding really strange times to try to figure out what I'm doing, like taking some rambunctious behavior on the part of my daughter as an excuse to ask whether I'm still going to church (because sunday school will help her behave, right?). Only a matter of time...

I did have an unexpected blessing recently, though. Some of you may remember that BIL's husband passed away recently. He has been very depressed (understandably), and some of the family has been less then kind, often unintentionally, due to religious bias. About a week ago, he texted us, very depressed, in the middle of the night. I got very worried about him, especially since the family members I spoke to blew it off ("oh, he's been doing that..."). I finally called him, and we ended up talking for a couple of hours. I asked him whether he still revered Kali, and if I could light a candle for him, which (understandably) caught him off guard, and led to a whole big conversation. I was up front, told him I have pagan leanings, told him I'm bi....we talked about the next life, tarot, alters, the LDS church, you name it. All these things I've been dying for *years* to talk to him about, but haven't because I didn't want to rock any boats in the family. By the end, he was smiling and laughing.

I can't tell you guys how lucky I feel to have been able to help things feel a bit less bleak for him. We've in in touch off and on ever since, and I really feel like it's the beginning of a very strong relationship. I hope so....