Coming out of the Broom Closet

[Pallas]

Re: Coming out about your religion

My coming out was funny because it didn't really happen. Everyone figured I became Pagan in high school (far from the case) and it's been fun explaining I'm not Wiccan nor is it a phase. I think they finally get it...

My family was fine with it until they learned rituals are involved. It seemed to make them pissy and I couldn't tell why. My father claimed one thing or another, but really he's one of those atheists who think everyone's out to convert him (no one in my family has ever tried) so he tries to prevent anyone from practicing (seriously, he tried to ban my mom and I from church). My mother's mixed because she has New Age tendencies anyway but she was raised Southern Baptist. The dissonance gets interesting. I won't forget when she lectured me about how bad magic was but proceeded to give me candles and instructed me on how to use them. She's a bit better about my rituals since I've combined it with arts and crafts.

There's other issues with her, but it's mostly she's clearly curious about what I believe and goes about asking in funny ways. Sometimes she asks directly, but mostly she peeks in. OK, she's stopped that since I moved my shrine where she could see and I didn't have my back to her, but there's a thread somewhere about that saga.

Your mother sounds exactly like mine! It must be a Southern baptist thing. haha I see so many into spiritual and supernatural things in one mood but freak out at it the next. I think southerners are supernatural by nature, it was only a few decades ago we believed in only making soap by the moonlight and other random rituals. It's still very much there.

As for me coming out. I've never officially came out giving myself a label. But my beliefs have always been clear to those who ask, including my mom. She's pretty much only upset that I don't recognize Jesus as my savior. Everybody else is really cool with it. I always explain it in a chill and unagrressive way. "I don't pray, I send positive energy.", "It's not about believing in Jesus or not, it's taking lessons from everybody and being a good person.", etc. Once you say it that way, only the most biased can see issue with that.

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Yeah. I see a lot of posts here about Christians, but for me it's more the other end of the spectrum. Most people I know are atheist. All the religious people I know are pretty liberal about it, and while most of the atheists I know are pretty open-minded, I have been told off a few times for believing in something. One friend even gave me a Richard Dawkins book, which to me is equivalent to giving someone a bible when they say they don't believe in Jesus. I'm glad my bf was cool about it.

Yeah, I've noticed that too. Some atheist can be just as intolerant as any Christian fanatic. And I say "fanatic" to separate the true ones from the creepy ones who go overboard in their faith. I happen to be friends with a few "liberal" Christians as well. And I would classify my relatives as liberal too, at least when it comes to religion anyways. Everything else... nah! ;^_^
I was atheist for a year once, as I didn't believe in any deity or that one even existed, though I was a jerk about it and try to convince others the same thing too. And the other atheist that I still hang out with today aren't fanatics either. But I have run into a few who are before, so I know they are around. I've stop thinking that certain religions or non-religions are prone to being overbearing long ago. I've learned that it depends on the person or persons and their personal insecurities, it really don't have anything to do with dogma at all.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Coming out about your religion

That's cool! A lot of atheists give off that vibe that religion and spirituality is ridiculous. But it's nice that your boyfriend is more sympathetic c:

Yeah. I see a lot of posts here about Christians, but for me it's more the other end of the spectrum. Most people I know are atheist. All the religious people I know are pretty liberal about it, and while most of the atheists I know are pretty open-minded, I have been told off a few times for believing in something. One friend even gave me a Richard Dawkins book, which to me is equivalent to giving someone a bible when they say they don't believe in Jesus. I'm glad my bf was cool about it.

Re: Coming out about your religion

Thank you both so much, RiverSong and DeadJellyfish. Definitely some good advice in all of this.

[DeadJellyfish]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I recently came out of the "broom closet" to my parents, after 6 years of practicing. They are Christians, and are pretty serious about their religious practices. Luckily, my mom had apparently been wondering for a while if something was going on and thus was not completely caught off guard. My sister was already aware, and she helped back me up in explaining that this wasn't simply a new phase-thing. Finally I was able to set up my altar in my room and be much more open about all of it.

Unfortunately, my exceptionally conservative Christian grandparents are visiting the week after Christmas, and I have not figured out how I'm going to handle that. I would like to not have to hide a part of myself (including my altar in my room), but I don't quite know how to explain to my 70-year-old grandparents that I simply don't follow their beliefs without it causing a family problem and alot of stress. Any advice?

RiverSong gave some good advice. On top of that, make sure you know your facts. If things get difficult they might start throwing Bible verses at you, like my grandmother does. You just have to be calm and tell that that's not what you believe. What you believe isn't hurting anyone. When I came out to my mom all I had to do was bring up my core beliefs and convince her that I wasn't getting myself into anything cultish. You should leave your alter up and if they question it be honest. I wish you the best of luck with your grandparents

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

No problem! I just wish I could suggest more than just, "go for it and hope for the best." :-/
My family is very open about religion, it's true... but everything else, not so much. When I came out of the closet about my sexuality, that was not so easy and a disaster. But, I went for it and I found that love in family often rights itself after a while. My mum is not accepting of my sexual orientation whatsoever, but she found a way to agree to disagree, after a few years of realizing that it's not going to go away. So, I do understand when people are in families that's not accepting of their religion. However, if your grandparents can't deal, take comfort that your sister and parents do. ^_^

Re: Coming out about your religion

Thank you, RiverSong. Indeed, hopefully it all works out. And I'm glad to hear that your family is much more accepting. Acceptance and agreeing to disagree make everyone's lives so much easier.

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Lenore, I'd love to give you some advice... if I had any. I'm sorry, my coming out of the broom closet was so much easier with my grandparents, because my mother beat down that path before me with another religion. So with me, there was a sigh of, "here we go again... what is it this time?" Though, my grandparents liked my chosen path because I wasn't banned from celebrating the family holidays with them, unlike my mother's chosen religion in the past. So, all was well. ^_^
I guess, the only thing you can do is to be calm, honest, and open about your new path. And hope for the best. I do hope it works out for you too! And I'm glad that your sister and parents are accepting!

Re: Coming out about your religion

I recently came out of the "broom closet" to my parents, after 6 years of practicing. They are Christians, and are pretty serious about their religious practices. Luckily, my mom had apparently been wondering for a while if something was going on and thus was not completely caught off guard. My sister was already aware, and she helped back me up in explaining that this wasn't simply a new phase-thing. Finally I was able to set up my altar in my room and be much more open about all of it.

Unfortunately, my exceptionally conservative Christian grandparents are visiting the week after Christmas, and I have not figured out how I'm going to handle that. I would like to not have to hide a part of myself (including my altar in my room), but I don't quite know how to explain to my 70-year-old grandparents that I simply don't follow their beliefs without it causing a family problem and alot of stress. Any advice?

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I haven't come out to anyone as of yet...I'm not in a relationship and I hardly ever see my family (moved 2 hours away from them) so right now I don't think there's any need to tell them. If the topic gets discussed around a dinner table at some point I won't be ashamed to tell them about my beliefs, but it's not something I feel any need to bring up at the moment. They'll find out eventually anyway, why rush things x)

Yes, you shouldn't bring it up, if you don't have to. ^_^
I had to come out because my whole community, family, and neighbors are Christian. And my neighbors and family knew about my past Ordination in the church... so when I dropped my job as Minister and stop coming to a local church, I was asked constantly, "Why haven't I seen you in church? Did you change to a new one?" And the usual greet from new strangers I meet in my city is, "What church do you go to?" So, I tell the truth or change the subject. But if no one ask, I don't care to share. To me, religion is religion, just a tiny part of the picture that makes up a whole being. So, it's not important for others to know my religion or I know of theirs.

[DeadJellyfish]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I came out to my boyfriend, and I was a bit nervous about it, because when I first met him it seemed like he was atheist and thought religion was ridiculous, but now i know him better and know he doesn't really think that. While he's atheist, he does have a bit of a spiritual side and he's even pagan-sympathetic...yay!

That's cool! A lot of atheists give off that vibe that religion and spirituality is ridiculous. But it's nice that your boyfriend is more sympathetic c:

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I haven't come out to anyone as of yet...I'm not in a relationship and I hardly ever see my family (moved 2 hours away from them) so right now I don't think there's any need to tell them. If the topic gets discussed around a dinner table at some point I won't be ashamed to tell them about my beliefs, but it's not something I feel any need to bring up at the moment. They'll find out eventually anyway, why rush things x)

That's good, if you don't need to then why be the one to bring it up?

[ShadowOfTheMoon]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I haven't come out to anyone as of yet...I'm not in a relationship and I hardly ever see my family (moved 2 hours away from them) so right now I don't think there's any need to tell them. If the topic gets discussed around a dinner table at some point I won't be ashamed to tell them about my beliefs, but it's not something I feel any need to bring up at the moment. They'll find out eventually anyway, why rush things x)

[DanieMarie]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I came out to my boyfriend, and I was a bit nervous about it, because when I first met him it seemed like he was atheist and thought religion was ridiculous, but now i know him better and know he doesn't really think that. While he's atheist, he does have a bit of a spiritual side and he's even pagan-sympathetic...yay!

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Haha, man, that does sound awkward and a tad bit annoying. But overall it seems like a pleasant experience. I'm glad your family is so accepting

Yep, overall it was a success for me to come out of the broom closet. I'm happy with it. ^_^

[DeadJellyfish]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Oddly enough, even though my family are "god fearing, spiritual singing, bible quoting, highly religious" type Christians, when I told them that I had quit being a Christian Minister they were concerned but let me be.When I announced a year later that I would be Pagan it went over very well. A few in my family knew that it didn't mean that I worshiped evil. Others did assume that and gasped, but when I explained they listen and relaxed. Pretty much my family took it as if I had said I was switching to Judaism, in the end. They gave a shrug and made a few comments that they'll miss me at the church. But that was it. The most annoyance I get is when my family is trying overly hard to remember the Pagan holidays in attempt to "speak my language" and weirdly say, "Happy Yule" putting a weird emphasis on the word as if they're saying "Happy Sock Day! We don't exactly get it, but since you love socks and choose to celebrate it, we'll cheer with you!" It's funny, annoying, but nice at the same time. It makes me laugh!
So, I was VERY lucky, I think.
Though, I was not so lucky in other "coming out"s, and that's another story.

Haha, man, that does sound awkward and a tad bit annoying. But overall it seems like a pleasant experience. I'm glad your family is so accepting

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I told my girlfriend I was going to take up Paganism to worship the Goddess of Chaos, Strife, and Rivalry. She said, "that makes sense." She began wondering which Pagan God or Goddess was right for her. That went pretty darn good. Telling our mothers most likely wont go so well. My mother is Christian who will may likely go into a panic for our salvation. Her mother is a bipolar schizophrenic Catholic. I anticipate chaos. :bounce:

I wish you the best of luck, but it's good to know that your girlfriend has your back