Developing a Relationship with the Home

[Jembru]

...She also has a nice little exercise that could be expanded into a meditation or ritual for really ,*thinking* about your home and it's meaning and thanking it...which I think might make an interesting topic on its own, if anyone is interested.

Sure! This is something that very much resonates with my own experiences. I've mentioned in the past that I speak to our flat and that it answers me too. JP even started asking nicely when the toilet light wouldn't switch off because he saw that it kept working for me so gave it a go himself!

I've tried a few times to give it a name so I don't have to keep calling it 'flat', but nothing has ever really stuck. It's a lovely idea though. The spirits of the flat have a collective name at least.

[Azvanna]

Re: Druidry and Druidism for Beginners

. I've mentioned in the past that I speak to our flat and that it answers me too.

So glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! Our home definitely has its own personality. I am the fourth lady in a row to have a baby while living here. I feel it loves families and loves it when I clean its floors. Almost like a dog or a horse enjoying the rub down.

I liked the idea of starting out being a Druid in the home. I'd like to learn more about that actually. Is it about home-making skills? Eg choice of scented oils, setting the tone of the relationships, intent while cleaning etc?

[thalassa]

Re: Druidry and Druidism for Beginners

I liked the idea of starting out being a Druid in the home. I'd like to learn more about that actually. Is it about home-making skills? Eg choice of scented oils, setting the tone of the relationships, intent while cleaning etc?

It could be, but some of that depends on an individual's ideas of what Druidry *is* (the defining Druidry argument). In the case of this particular author (Penny Billington), she leans more (as far as I can tell based on her writing ) to "Revival" Druidry, rather than a more Celtic and reconstructive Druidry (such as that found withinADF).

Its a matter of (to borrow an idea) mindfulness, but also of reenchanting the mundane---maybe to say that we ought to be observing and connecting to the liminality of that which is sacred and profane (and by profane I mean common and not naughty), because sacred vs profane is merely a matter of attitude (rather than an intrinsic property). That skill can be in home-making skills (when we are talking about the home)--that we should be purposeful and purposed in what we keep, how we decorate, etc as well as in our every day activities.

Specifically, her point is that if one is a Druid, it is about being a Druid wherever you are (and not just when you go outside in a thicket somewhere)--that, I think it the point of starting at home, where one is most likely to revert back to their non-spiritual self. For many Druids that lean more towards forms of revival-style Druidry, its a matter of philosophy--almost like a European version of Taosim, in a way (hence my joke about the Tao te Tree). The idea of (magical or spiritual) intention in the home though, can be applied anywhere.




(I'll split this now)

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

I talk to our home too. I often put my hands, palms facing outwards, so they rest against the walls and thank it for looking after us and sheltering us...

[Medusa]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

Our home likes to turn the kitchen light on even though I distinctly remember turning it off. It only does this when I'm home alone.

I'm scurred.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

I say thank you to the furnace, a/c, appliances, etc. all the time. I'm still in awe of having my own washer & dryer.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

Have to admit at times I am never sure if the house has its own spirit and "life" or if it's the land spirits that reside on the land and within the house that are causing things to happen. Sort of loosely the idea of a Happy Wife means a Happy Home but in this case a happy land spirit means a happy and peaceful home.

Though have to admit I see many things in the concept of the Manitou or spirit. As such all things can have their own spirit. Even manmade items can be possessed or enpowered with a manitou.

[thalassa]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

Most of my appliances have names. The apartment, not so much...but the appliances have moved with us time, and time again (with the exception of the stove). So does my main tea pot.

[Rick]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

Have to admit at times I am never sure if the house has its own spirit and "life" or if it's the land spirits that reside on the land and within the house that are causing things to happen. Sort of loosely the idea of a Happy Wife means a Happy Home but in this case a happy land spirit means a happy and peaceful home.

Though have to admit I see many things in the concept of the Manitou or spirit. As such all things can have their own spirit. Even manmade items can be possessed or enpowered with a manitou.

In the Northern Way, there are Husvaetter (house wights) and Landvaetter (land wights). Land wights basically stay in one place, house wights generally move with you, and might be passed from generation to generation.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

I was reading an interesting bit about the ethics of saying "thank you" to talking tech, like Siri.

It ranged from "setting a good example of politeness for your children" (it's good) to "it personifies inanimate technology and therefor devalues humans" (it's bad) with stuff like "as AI is developed, will it be treated like a companion or a slave?" in between.

I wish I could find it again...

Personally, I don't thank my machinery (any talking tech I have has been muted), but I do offer up a daily morning prayer for the coffee maker ("Thank God!"), and call down an occassional curse on the car ("God Dammit!").

[DragonsFriend]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

The shop and the garage I built seem to have a "life" and seem to be gaining a personality but most of the human made "things" are devoid of this aspect. It is as though the people who built them and the people who were connected before didn't give any time to spiritual connections. We did place spirit bowls near the corners of the foundation when we moved in and cleansed the home and grounds to make a place for our friends to join us in this new place but the dwellings don't seem to be "owned" by any spirits.

[Jembru]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

I have benefited a great deal from developing a better relationship with my home. In Thal's original post in the Druidry and Druidism for Beginners thread, I was particularly interested in this part..

She goes on to talk about ensuring the purpose of our possessions....not so much minimalism, but simplicity.

You see, I started a thread last May in which I was moaning about how anxious I get over the clutter in my home. It's resting peacefully in the catacombes now but just in case anyone else feels this way, it's worth reading because it definitely helped me to learn that I was pretty normal (and gotta love the auto correct in my first post.. I hadn't noticed how bad it was at the time ^^). Around that time I had explained to someone that I'm always trying to thin out my possessions but everything has a genuine use or a genuine reason to be in my home, to which they replied, 'then it's not clutter!' (I thought it was someone on this forum who said that but I can't find the post; apologies if you're reading this and can remember saying this to me -at least you know your message hit home!^^).

I also hadn't been doing any spiritual house cleansing since moving here, so back in July last year I did a massive spiritual cleanse of the place. I can't begin to tell you the difference I felt after that. I must confess that I'm still not good at keeping it up and instead, tend to do the cleansing only when I start to feel restless in the flat again, but I at least do it now and then and always with the same result.

After realising that the things we have are not clutter, I added a step to my spiritual house cleansing ritual in which I comment on things in the room while I'm doing it (I physically clean all the surfaces while I chant my prayers). So I'll describe how special everything is to me and how I use it, while I'm cleaning. I'll also periodically say 'everything has its use, everything has its place'. Very recently I've also started adding, 'our cauldron is always full' in reference to something Penny Billington said during a talk featured on Druidcast. We have a small kitchen so while I try to keep the cupboards neat, they're always pretty tightly packed. I used to hate that because again, it wasn't 'minimalist', but why was I wishing empty cupboards on myself? While cleansing the kitchen I now open the cupboards wide, look at all the healthy and tasty food we have and proclaim with joy and gratitude that 'our cauldron is always full'.

My home is small, but it is charming with it. We keep finding more creative ways to use the space we have to the effect that it feels as though our home is growing in size, always adding rooms (in the past 2 years we have added a ritual room, a library, a second study, a guest bedroom and a conservatory without building a single thing!! ^^). Instead of regretting that we have so much 'stuff', I've learnt to be thankful that despite being on a relatively low income I want for very little, because all I need is right here.. my cauldron is always bursting at the seams! What's more is that once I stopped feeling so ashamed of our flat and started to invite others over, people kept commenting at how neat and airy the place is. It doesn't appear cluttered at all to visitors.

There's more though (I'm so glad I waited until I could be at my PC for this). I very recently started to work with the chakras/energy centres again (blog on its way ), and I wondered if the flat could be seen as having chakras of its own. It may have just been me trying to make things fit but when I began to explore the idea, sure enough the layout was perfectly aligned to them. What's more, is that I had already added wall hangings and so on in some rooms that support the concept without being consciously aware that I was doing that. For example, I realised the kitchen is perfectly aligned to the solar plexus chakra, and I had hung a solar disk between the kitchen and the lean-to that leads to the bathroom (sacral) and toilet (base), because that area understandably gets a lot of moisture from both cooking and the fact that the bathroom is there too. I'd hung the solar disk to encourage warm, dry energy and prevent the area becoming mildewy (and so far so good). Now it also functions to remind me that the kitchen is our homes solar plexus chakra.

The livingroom is the very centre of the property with doors to all other parts of the flat opening into the livingroom. This makes it perfect as the heart centre of our home and sure enough, I used bluish-green as an accent colour and hung a little wooden heart on the wall thinking it would encourage love to flow in that room. It already has a few plants but I want to add more now to further encourage the heart chakra alignment of the room. The door that opens out into the yard is also in the living room.

The place where I study Japanese and use my PC is where I'd place the throat chakra, along with what you could call our 'reception area'. Our sleeping area comes after that, at the third eye of the home. I meditate and sit quietly looking out at the world outside in the bay window, which also aligns nicely with the crown chakra, as does the front door where I perform a short ritual on the first of each month to bid the old month farewell and invite the new month in. When I come home from work, the very first thing I tend to do is open the bay windows to let fresh air into the flat, literally opening up the property's crown chakra to draw in fresh energy!

It's been a gradual process, but I feel my home and I have a very good friendship now. We've come a long way since I was moaning about clutter 14 months ago.

[kalynraye]

Re: Developing a Relationship with the Home

This really made me smile when I logged on and saw it today. Today will be my first time by myself in the house and I have been planning since we bought the house to do a "welcoming ritual". To properly thank the house for allowing us to live here, to introduce myself and my dogs, to ask the fey that live here already to allow the ones that have traveled with me for forever peaceful entry and to be allowed to make their home here as well. The house is as much mine as I am its.