Originally posted by prometheus
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Do you think you have learnt anything about how we as humans experience dying from your work?
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Originally posted by Ula View PostI feel the business around death really screws people. I am not sure how one decides to become involved in that.
I honestly don't think that the majority of the people I work with intend to screw you. But it is expensive, and it could possibly be cheaper. What you have to remember is that a funeral home has a lot of expenses. There is general upkeep of the building, utilities, etc. There are also usually large pieces of equipment, including vehicles and a backhoe, that have to be registered and kept up on. The land had to be kept up, and that means paying people to take care of lawn care, pruning, etc. Then they have funeral employees that they have to pay. These employees include accountants, lawyers, and graphic design artists, etc as well as funeral director/embalmers.
There are also numerous regulations in place now that weren't half a century ago that prevent funeral homes from taking advantage of people. And there's a huge emphasis on honorable funeral practices at the educational level. There are laws regulating preneed sales for instance that weren't in place in the mid 1900's. Things like requirements that money from preneed contracts be held in a trust. There is also a federal law requiring a general price list being presented any time money is discussed so that people know upfront what things will cost and what money is going where.
It is really hard though, when you have families who are grieving, to know that they are actually processing everything you're saying. It's not uncommon for someone to have completely forgotten everything that was discussed at any one point, let alone fine details. We usually have at least three or four contact points at my funeral home where we run through everything, to try and help with that. We get consent for initial care when we pick up the deceased. Then there is an arrangement conference when things like visitations and services are discussed in more detail. And there are usually at least one or two other phone calls made where details are reviewed, obits are approved, and any questions answered. And we still have people who can't keep it all straight, especially when they want a viewing/service, because they are grieving and grief can make it hard for you to focus, but things have to proceed because even with a great embalming a body will likely start showing signs of decomp at some point (sometimes that's a week, sometimes years, but we can't know until it happens) and state laws require burial after a certain time frame.
So yeah. I don't think the intent is to screw anyone over, but miscommunication or misunderstandings can happen, especially in such strained times.
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I learnt a lot in and around death. I think society should consider it more closely. Perhaps it's not for everyone though.
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I feel the business around death really screws people. I am not sure how one decides to become involved in that.
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my son described this building as a mausoleum in his thoughts.
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one guy died in the summer,with no air conditioning and they found him after 5 weeks.
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Originally posted by prometheus View PostWhen i was nurse i prepared many people for the morgue. At what point and in what condition do you receive people from hospitals?
Originally posted by anunitu View PostI do not believe in ghosts,here in this senior building we have had 3 deaths this week,expected because of very old residents here.,but no sign of any ghost.
There are also some tech things that could be put down to glitching, but everyone thinks it's the spirit that hangs out down there. A testing machine we have will go off randomly, then shut itself off whenever someone gets close to it. There's a paper towel dispenser that's electronic that you'll hear dispensing paper as you leave the bathroom (single entry, single stall bathroom, so it's easy to know that no one else was in the there). Just weird things.
But like I said, it's all anecdotal, experiences. It's enough that I really believe that there's a ghost (or, even just some weird energy phenomenon) but there's something.
Also, I'm not so tired right now, so I thought I'd go into a little more detail on my beliefs about the afterlife for Bart. So, I definitely believe that there's an afterlife. And I do think that there is some form of rebirth. Whether that rebirth happens here on this planet or not I don't feel so confident about. I also believe that there are multiple afterlife realms just like there are multiple systems of belief. Which is strange because I also believe that most named deities are also faces of a single archetype. It's a contradiction that I haven't quiet come to terms with yet. I think part of why I believe that way is because different people would need different things from the afterlife. Some would just need a short break, some would need a lot of time to recoup, expectations would be different from one culture to another, etc.
I don't believe in the Christian heaven/hell realms, at least not as they're understood by the majority of the world. Both Mormons (which we can all doubt the validity of their faith, but shrug) and Muslims believe that there are multiple levels of heaven and hell and that they aren't so black and white (bliss or punishment). And the ancient Jews believed that there was an underworld, called Sheol, that was where the spirits of the dead went, but it wasn't a place that was good or bad, it was just a place, a shadow of the real world. So I take huge issue with the modern day Christian view of heaven and hell.
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I do not believe in ghosts,here in this senior building we have had 3 deaths this week,expected because of very old residents here.,but no sign of any ghost.
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When i was nurse i prepared many people for the morgue. At what point and in what condition do you receive people from hospitals?
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Originally posted by Shahaku View PostYeah. I think I would rather be cremated as well. Your parents will have to talk with the funeral home where your grandparents are buried though. Likely there will be a fee of some kind to bury your ashes on their land. My girlfriend wants to be turned into a tree. There are these pods that basically are filled with ashes, which feed the trees initial growth, and therefore, you become a tree. This: https://www.boredpanda.com/bios-urn-...mpaign=organic
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Originally posted by anubisa View PostCool. Thanks for letting me know. I told my parents that I wanted to be cremated because I want half of myself to be buried with my grandpa on my dad's side and half with my parents. Crazy.
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Cool. Thanks for letting me know. I told my parents that I wanted to be cremated because I want half of myself to be buried with my grandpa on my dad's side and half with my parents. Crazy.
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Originally posted by Torey View PostWhat would you say is the most challenging aspect of your role?
Originally posted by Bartmanhomer View PostWhat is your opinion on the afterlife?
Originally posted by anubisa View PostHow do you prepare a person for viewing? I mean, I guess what I am asking is what goes into embalming a person? I hope I'm not being too gross.
The deceased is transferred from the place of death, to the funeral home, and into an embalming room. Typically, there are very strict rules on who can enter the embalming room, again for liability. They are placed on a table that drains away the blood and fluid that is run through the body. A two inch or so incision is made on the collar bone, and from there the skin is lifted until we can access the carotid artery. A tube with a metal tip is inserted into the carotid, and that is attached to a machine that has a mix of water, coloring agents, and embalming fluid. Some people then make an incision in the jugular to drain the blood and excess embalming fluid. At my funeral home, typically a trocar suction is inserted into the abdomen, through the diaphragm, and into the heart. Excess fluid is drained directly from the heart.
The embalming fluid also has a coloring agent. That stained the skin as it flows through the capillaries, hopefully returning the body to natural color. It also helps with the coloring of the nails. Sometimes, even with the coloring agents in the fluid, parts of the body will remain gray. While the embalming fluid is running, we wash the body, hair, clean under the nails, etc. Once the fluid has gone through the body and that process is done, a second high-powered embalming fluid is injected into the abdomen, lungs, etc to stop decomposition there.
Once that is done, we place a trocar plug in the whole in the abdomen and sew shut the incision on the collarbone. The incisions are often filled with a moisture absorbing/sealing powder to prevent any leakage. We then place a diaper on the deceased in case of leakage, and cover them with a hospital gown. Moisturizing lotion is put on their face to prevent it from drying out prior to viewing. Once their clothes arrive, they are dressed and placed in the agreed casket, make-up and hair are done, and any cosmetic alterations needed are done. Sometimes when the decease had been ill for awhile material is added under the skin to fill in the hollows a little bit. I can't remember what it's called, but it's basically a liquid injection that hardens on contact with the fluid in the body. There's also wax treatments that can be used to cover trauma (cuts, scrapes, etc.) All of that is things I'll be learning next summer, when I take restorative art.
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How do you prepare a person for viewing? I mean, I guess what I am asking is what goes into embalming a person? I hope I'm not being too gross.
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