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Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

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    #1

    Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

    Saw this game on another forum, and it was all kinds of fun. No, we're not demanding that you've actually tried them, and we probably won't ask.

    We're probably going to react to each other's rules, but please contribute at least one rule in each post. Let's keep a continuous numbering so we can keep these rules set apart from any conversation.


    1 - I'm no longer allowed to invoke Loki at social gatherings.
    2 - Nor am I allowed to evoke Eris while in Math class.
    3 - Not even if the teacher's pet brought a golden apple on hotdog friday.
    4 - I'm not allowed to trance-out while driving anymore.
    5 - I'm not allowed to bind the Catholic Pope.
    6 - I'm not allowed to drink shot-for-shot with Dionysus anymore.
    7 - Especially not if I'm so drunk that I think I can drink him under the table.
    8 - Thou shalt not owe money to Papa Legba.
    9 - I shall no longer pit the brothers Katragama and Ganesha against each other.
    10 - I'm not allowed to call the corners as "this-a-way", "that-a-way", "over yonder", and "down-the-road-a-piece".
    Last edited by AzazelEblis; 13 Mar 2011, 20:45.
    "A true initiation never ends"-Robert Anton Wilson
    http://www.hermetic.com/crowley
    "Reality has become a commodity"-Stephen Colbert 1/29/07
    http://www.chaosmatrix.org/
    "Sometimes, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you" - Aesop Rock
    http://upholdingmaat.wordpress.com
    Tags: humor, magic, ritual, rules
    #2
    Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

    11- I'm no longer allowed to scream "I'm melting" when the Water watchtower is evoked.

    12- I'm no longer allowed to bring a ouija board into the circle
    a- even if it glows in the dark
    b- no matter how funny I find that such a thing exists and for such purposes

    13- I am no longer allowed to attune people to Reiki "just to prove a point" about getting drunk
    a- even if violent vomiting would help them

    14- I am no longer allowed to say "marriage card!" during Samhain
    a- especially if it's the two of cups
    b- no matter how funny I find it

    15- I'm no longer allowed to cast a circle singing the Batman theme if I'm wearing a cloak
    my etsy store
    My blog


    "...leave me curled up in my ball,
    surrounded by plush, downy things,
    ill prepared, but willing,
    to descend."

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      #3
      Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

      16 - I'm no longer allowed to wave my arms at a Christian Bookstore clerk hollering about a "Curse of Satan's Touch" when they bother us at a video game shop next door.
      "A true initiation never ends"-Robert Anton Wilson
      http://www.hermetic.com/crowley
      "Reality has become a commodity"-Stephen Colbert 1/29/07
      http://www.chaosmatrix.org/
      "Sometimes, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you" - Aesop Rock
      http://upholdingmaat.wordpress.com

      Comment

        #4
        Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

        Lol
        17- im no longer allowed to summon the shades of the dead for polite conversation
        a-even at tea time

        18- im no longer allowed to curse the popular kids with pimples
        a- no matter how shallow they are
        b- no matter how much they deserve it

        19- im no longer allowed to invoke Thoth to help me with my homework
        a-even if algebra is crap

        20-im no longer allowed to burn sage to rid the classroom of an evil presence
        a- especially if said presence is the french teacher
        They moaned and squealed, and pressed their snouts to the earth. We are sorry, we are sorry.
        Sorry you were caught, I said. Sorry that you thought I was weak, but you were wrong.
        -Madeline Miller, Circe

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          #5
          Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

          Nice post count, Corvus


          20 b - I'm *especially* not allowed to throw the sage at the School Cop that comes to investigate "that funny pot smell"

          21 - I'm no longer allowed to call upon the spirits of dead presidents to torture them with today's politics.

          22 - I shall no longer use the names of comic book character as Magickal names in groups
          a - especially "Tom O'Bedlam"

          23 - I shall cease cursing Grant Morrison for bringing 2012 on us all with his super-sigil comic book

          24 - I shall not evoke Choronzon any more
          a - especially not in the company of Thelemites
          b - especially not if they think they're the reincarnation of Crowley
          c - especially not to shut them up about how they're the reincarnation of Crowley

          25 - I shall no longer vent a sulfur smell in a church
          a - especially not a cathedral
          "A true initiation never ends"-Robert Anton Wilson
          http://www.hermetic.com/crowley
          "Reality has become a commodity"-Stephen Colbert 1/29/07
          http://www.chaosmatrix.org/
          "Sometimes, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you" - Aesop Rock
          http://upholdingmaat.wordpress.com

          Comment

            #6
            Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

            26- im no longer allowed to mix eye of newt and toung of rat to with kool aid to make fruit punch

            27- im no longer allowed to use an alarm clock that works(pretty magical right?)
            They moaned and squealed, and pressed their snouts to the earth. We are sorry, we are sorry.
            Sorry you were caught, I said. Sorry that you thought I was weak, but you were wrong.
            -Madeline Miller, Circe

            Comment

              #7
              Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

              28- I'm no longer allowed to commune with fairies and elves
              a- especially if I'm carrying a snickers bar
              b- doubly so if I'm pmsing while carrying said snickers bar

              29- I'm no longer allowed to cast "remove bloating" spells

              30- I'm no longer allowed to chant "moo" when I want to praise Hathor.
              my etsy store
              My blog


              "...leave me curled up in my ball,
              surrounded by plush, downy things,
              ill prepared, but willing,
              to descend."

              Comment

                #8
                Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                31- im no longer allowed to summon unearthy dark and destructive forces and release the demons from the gates of hell because the neighbor's dog pooped on my lawn

                32- im no longer allowed to behead goats on a platform with a machete

                ---------- Post added at 08:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:24 AM ----------

                33- im not longer allowed to skip through the forest and dance among toad stool rings

                34- im no longer allowed to invoke Chronos when I over sleep
                They moaned and squealed, and pressed their snouts to the earth. We are sorry, we are sorry.
                Sorry you were caught, I said. Sorry that you thought I was weak, but you were wrong.
                -Madeline Miller, Circe

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                  35) I'm no longer allowed to sign supernatural contracts with the names of people I don't like.
                  a. especially if I think they deserve the side effects.

                  36) I'm no longer allowed to "cleanse" the planet of "corrupting" sentients.

                  38) I'm no longer allowed to advise rookies of entertaining Powers/Deities to call upon.
                  a. Especially when said rookies have a heavily rose tinted view of all divinity.
                  Life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

                  Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

                  "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

                  John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

                  "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

                  Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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                    #10
                    Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                    39. I am no longer allowed to put a hex on my boyfriend's PS3, no matter how much I want to spend time with him

                    40. I am no longer allowed to use my athame and make sounds like Darth Vader..."Luke, I am your father!"...and start making light saber noises
                    a. even if I just sat through a Star Wars marathon and my coven sisters want me to be "serious now"

                    41. I am no longer allowed to begin to invoke the God by saying "Our father, who art in heaven..."

                    42. I am no longer allowed to answer my cellphone while in a circle... (I have actually done this... yeah... I rock...)
                    sigpic

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                      #11
                      Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                      43. I'm no longer allowed to commune with my spirit guide via magic eight ball (true story...and no, said guide wasn't amused).

                      44. I'm no longer allowed to tease a spirit ruthlessly.
                      a. even if he has an ego larger than the US deficit
                      b. even if it's a learning experience for everyone involved

                      45. I'm no longer allowed to make wagers with my spirit guide.
                      a. even if I think I can win
                      b. especially if I think I can win
                      c. even if I don't underestimate my guide
                      d. even if I think it's a gentleman's wager
                      my etsy store
                      My blog


                      "...leave me curled up in my ball,
                      surrounded by plush, downy things,
                      ill prepared, but willing,
                      to descend."

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                        46. I am no longer allowed to pick my nose in order to use its contents as a magical ingredient
                        (a) even though I know it will work
                        (b) even though it's snot fair

                        47. Due to immune-system issues I am prevented from using all sorts of interesting and powerful ingredients in my spells. Once I find a way to power up the immune-system deficits however - WATCH OUT!!
                        www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


                        Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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                          #13
                          Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                          48. I am no longer allowed to wear my Wookie outfit to Ren Fairs ...

                          49. I am no longer allowed to put LSD in the communion wine ...

                          50. I am not allowed to put pot in the censers before mass ...
                          I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them ... John Bernard Books


                          Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official; "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

                          The Chief nodded in agreement.

                          The official continued; "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

                          The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine Man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

                          Then the chief leaned back and smiled; "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
                          ​



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                            #14
                            Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                            51. I am no longer allowed to use the hot tub as my cauldron
                            What you see depends on what you are looking for.

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                              #15
                              Re: Things I'm no longer allowed to do with Magic:

                              52. I am no longer allowed to pull the death card (on purpose :P ) for my hypochondriac friend when she asks me to read her future.
                              a- even if watching the blood drain from her face is hysterical
                              b- especially when she has just gone to the doctors because the internet told her she has some sort of terminal -itis.
                              "You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"- CS Lewis


                              https://www.facebook.com/KimberlyHagenART

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