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Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

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    Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

    Goodday all,

    a little bit about me

    I'm 28, turning 29 next month, first year living on my own after helping to co-parent my baby sister (7, turning 8 in July).

    Born in Eastern Europe, mostly grown up in Western Europe.

    My life has always been a little cinematically crazy with lots of moving around.

    Got a master's degree in 2021, dropped the second one in 2022 after logging around a master's thesis for far too long.

    I enjoy what I do for a living - a little over a year worth of experience - which I feel blessed with.

    I have a creative side: mostly poetry and photography, some painting, some make-up.

    Being active is also something I enjoy: dancing, yoga, hitting a ball with a racket in some way (badminton, squash, maybe tennis)

    And finally I really love people. I've had (and am having) a rocky road learning how to build meaningful and durable connections, but connecting on its own, getting to know people, having light or deep conversations, having fun, connecting others through me, etc... That's my jam.

    Maybe I'm an ambivert, or an introspective extravert

    a little bit about my spiritual journey

    I wasn't raised religious, though I was baptized Orthodox Christian. There's a lot of superstition in my birth culture, that much is true.

    My association with superstition is very negative, as it was often used as emotional blackmail. It almost feels worse than what I imagine religious control feels like, because there was never a "let's do this good for the sake of this and this higher power"... Only "DON'T do this because something bad will happen". My intuition was either silenced/over-ruled or gaslighted against. Long story short, it's on my list of things to put forward in therapy.

    There was also use of Christian symbolism. Little icons of Mary with Jesus or Saints everywhere. Holy water splashing. My godmother walking around me with a cross or something and saying words - no idea if they were scripture - to cleanse me from evil eyes. Dramatic prayer-like exclamations.

    Around 2011, a year after my third international move, I "finally" got properly depressed. Around 2012 I started seeking meaning in life by learning about all the big world religions, different people's wicca and some forms of paganism. That's also the first time I found this forum

    When I graduated high school I found it was time to focus on the worldly things for a while. Lots to discover, I figured.

    In 2020 I had major burn-out, at the end of that year I decided to dip my toes back into spirituality... But in 2021 I ended a relationship of 6,5 years, called the GP for mental health help and realized I'm not ready for all that given all of my childhood programming. I didn't want to use religion and spirituality as a crutch, which was what I was starting to do at that point in time.

    In the last 3 years I've been learning how to feel my feelings. How to pay attention to my body and actually understand what it's saying rather than talking over it and rationalizing my feelings. I've been sorting and filtering out my connections. Who and what mostly drains my energy, who and what gives me energy. I've been learning how to say what's on my heart with courage.

    Recently people crossed my path that made me think and realize I'm finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey again.

    So here I am. Since this remains the best place I've come across to read, make reading lists, discuss spirituality, religion, (a)theism in general.

    Good to be here again.


    Last edited by kazumi; 22 May 2023, 13:54.

    Re: Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

    Welcome back
    �Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.�
    ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
    Sneak Attack
    Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.


      Re: Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

      Welcome back to the forum!

      Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.


        Re: Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

        Welcome back!

        Check out my blog! The Daily Satanist


          Re: Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

          Welcome back
          You remind me of the babe
          What babe?
          The babe with the power
          What power?
          The Power of voodoo
          Who do?
          You do!
          Do what?
          Remind me of the babe!

          Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat


            Re: Finally ready to re-commence my spiritual journey

            Thank you all for the warm welcome ❣️