Why do they care who I marry?

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[SariaNephthys]

(This was a rant, but I've mellowed considerably since starting the post so thought I'd move it here.)

I'm not a lesbian, but the outcome of the "gay marriage" battle will still have a considerable impact on my life. Why? Because I'm engaged to a female-to-male transsexual. (Don't like transsexuals? Don't think I should be engaged at this age? Sorry, I don't want to hear it.) The whole debate/battle about it is really upsetting me; I know it shouldn't, because as my fiance put it, "So what? So a piece of paper somehow makes us a better couple than we are now?" I think the reason it worries me is, childhood fantasies about a beautiful wedding (now I suppose it would be a handfasting ritual instead) aside, I'm worried about what will be next. Adoption? Well, why should gay couples be allowed to adopt, since they aren't even worthy of marriage? There goes my chances at a family. If my fiance was in an accident and dying, would I be allowed to visit him in the hospital?

Sorry... I know I'm jumping to conclusions here, but I feel terrified that a good chunk of my future is riding on the whims of a few politicians who've never met me or my fiance.

What do you all think?

[Roknrol]

I've gotten into plenty of arguments about the whole gay marriage thing.  The *only* "valid" argument is if you consider marriage to be a Christian affair...which, if that's the case, why should Pagans, Muslims, Mormons, and Atheists be allowed to marry?  That's the only argument that I've heard that's worth listening to, and that particular argument (for me) falls apart with about 2 seconds of thought.

People should be allowed to marry who they like.  I would have a hard time legislating polygamy, but I think that should be allowed (on the marriage front) as well.

[stormchylde]

I would have a hard time legislating polygamy, but I think that should be allowed (on the marriage front) as well.

ROK FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Why do they care?? Well, it's because the "Christian" leadership that we so enjoy has got it in their head that we are a "Christian Nation" and should follow "Christian values". What they fail to consider is the fact that this is supposed to be a country that was founded to be a place where you could come to be yourself, free from persecution. Like that EVER happened. We are a nation built on hatred and superiority complexes. You are less than we are because _______, and so you don't deserve the same rights as the people that are following the RIGHT faith (and in so doing, learning the RIGHT way to live). Love means nothing to these people, unless it is their love of money and power. Family values mean nothing to them unless it is THEIR values that are being used. They know what is right, do not question them, live life their way, *holds up watch, swinging it gently back and forth* You are getting sleepy.......

[ThorsSon]

Personally, I think believe that marriage is a religious and/or personal institution. I personally feel that the government should keep their hands out of it altogether.

When the government makes legislation about things like this, they come dangerously close to favoring one belief system over another, which the Constitution specificly forbids.

[MoonBunny]

ROK FOR PRESIDENT!!!

HA! He needs to become the governer of California first or something...

We live in a society that is a dremocracy slowly turning into a communistic society.... bad analogy, but its the only one i can think of... The government just wants to control everything you do, say and write... They can't seenm to seperate church from state...  I'm glad you have found someone you love and loves you back. I think thats all that should matter, but the government sees it otherwise...

[Djinn]

We live in a society that is a dremocracy slowly turning into a communistic society.... bad analogy, but its the only one i can think of... The government just wants to control everything you do, say and write...

That's not communism. It's totalitarianism. If the Christians are running the totalitarian state, it's a theocracy. I would laugh at W for hating Iran but wanting to create a theocratic state just like it here...I would laugh if I didn't have to live here.

For the record, I think consenting adults should be allowed to marry any other consenting adults in whatever combinations make those involved happy. I can't grasp why somebody else's marriage is somehow a threat to me.

I got this in an email from a friend:

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[SariaNephthys]

I got this in an email from a friend:

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

That's brilliant. I'm gonna send that to all my friends, and my fiance, and tell him to send it to all the Americans in ABBAMAIL.

[jaspenelle]

I was watching the news today - my state Supreme Court was releasing their vote on gay marriage (I live in Washington) and unce again I am disgusted by this country's government. Once again they have proved that there is indeed no separating between church and state.

If anyone is curious about the news story:
State Supreme Court upholds gay marriage ban

"Attorneys defending the marriage law said the state has a rational reason for limiting marriage to heterosexual couples, because the state has an interest in regulating relationships that produce children."

This is what made me do a double take, the why. Making babies to further over-populated world (what is the US's unemployment rate again?) is obviously more important then say, the state’s Equal Rights Amendment. On another level it makes me wonder if the state does not care about me because Michael and I don't have children - of course since we are poly (though no currently in any other relationships) the government doesn't care about us anyways,

On the news they had people calling in to express their opinions and I had to turn it off. People make me sick with their homophobia and the "almighty God" shouldn't even be an argument they use, separation of church and state anyone? I think the only thing that kept me from kicking the tv was the fact I was kneading bread and I can brutalise that as much as I like.

Hmmm that kind of turned into a rant...

[SariaNephthys]

At this point I'm about ready to say f*** it and move to Sweden. I mean I'm sorry, I like this country and all, but aside from the high taxes that's a pretty nice place to live (and they not only allow same-sex marriage, there is a MUCH better public opinion about it).

...Okay, so the fact that we're both super ABBA fans might have some influence on my outburst country choice.

Mmm... sorry about that. I don't know what job I'd get with a degree in American History (the only subject I'm any good at) in Sweden anyway!

[jaspenelle]

I'd move it Sweden too and there are tones of international schools in Europe, I bet you could find a job (I use to live in Europe and go to an international school.) Of course the dark might get to me it is very far north...

[SariaNephthys]

Of course the dark might get to me it is very far north...

Ooh, that is a good point. And I can barely stand Maryland winters! (I know, I'm a wuss. ) Well... I'm sure I'll think of something. If I get good at writing, I won't even have to leave the house all winter!

(And every summer I could see Benny's band perform! )

Going to dust off my audio language course again...

[twisted-sister]

(This was a rant, but I've mellowed considerably since starting the post so thought I'd move it here.)

I'm not a lesbian, but the outcome of the "gay marriage" battle will still have a considerable impact on my life. Why? Because I'm engaged to a female-to-male transsexual. (Don't like transsexuals? Don't think I should be engaged at this age? Sorry, I don't want to hear it.) The whole debate/battle about it is really upsetting me; I know it shouldn't, because as my fiance put it, "So what? So a piece of paper somehow makes us a better couple than we are now?" I think the reason it worries me is, childhood fantasies about a beautiful wedding (now I suppose it would be a handfasting ritual instead) aside, I'm worried about what will be next. Adoption? Well, why should gay couples be allowed to adopt, since they aren't even worthy of marriage? There goes my chances at a family. If my fiance was in an accident and dying, would I be allowed to visit him in the hospital?

Sorry... I know I'm jumping to conclusions here, but I feel terrified that a good chunk of my future is riding on the whims of a few politicians who've never met me or my fiance.

What do you all think?

I think you have a reason to be worried and angry. I posted an article in the debate section about a new Florida law that completely oversteps the idea of separation of church and state in this country. Although the law is unrelated to gay marriage, I think this is another instance where church and state have become intertwined, and people are too cracked to take a step back and notice that they are violating an age old presendence of this country. Like Rok said, the only way that those arguements could be legit would be if marriage was seen as a strictly Christian affair. However, seeing as how its not, I myself cannot understand why there is such an issue with gay marriage in this country. Church and state are supposed to be separated, so it really shouldnt matter who you marry.