But again, I'm feeling sort of 24/7 uneasiness with religion because I do feel I am a pagan but at the same time there is this nagging feeling "what if those Christians are right after all and I will go to Hell because I'm pagan/this/that".
I'm the kind of person I'd willingly follow whatever orders given and be happy with that, sort of ideal attitude for a Christian I presume, but I also know there are some things in the Christian theology that are hard to accept - and I would be hard to accept for Christians. But then comes the thought, what if I just have to change myself to please their God, that would be a huge sacrifice and an act of faith after all.
I just wonder if I haven't been "pagan enough", because I haven't been doing any rituals etc. Sometimes I feel like Paganism is just a nice thing, sort of accessory to wear just because I like it (and I remember some Bible verse, from Leviticus, with the core idea about people listening to teachers who they like, not those who speak the truth. What if the entire Paganism thing is about that after all? Cherry-picking and avoiding the true, though not very nice, things?)
The fact that I will be working on a Christian graveyard for a while won't help a bit...
But I know, I'm not a Christian. And probably I will never be. (And I have never been, that's the odd part. I was raised atheist.) Anyone else had the same problem?
I'm the kind of person I'd willingly follow whatever orders given and be happy with that, sort of ideal attitude for a Christian I presume, but I also know there are some things in the Christian theology that are hard to accept - and I would be hard to accept for Christians. But then comes the thought, what if I just have to change myself to please their God, that would be a huge sacrifice and an act of faith after all.
I just wonder if I haven't been "pagan enough", because I haven't been doing any rituals etc. Sometimes I feel like Paganism is just a nice thing, sort of accessory to wear just because I like it (and I remember some Bible verse, from Leviticus, with the core idea about people listening to teachers who they like, not those who speak the truth. What if the entire Paganism thing is about that after all? Cherry-picking and avoiding the true, though not very nice, things?)
The fact that I will be working on a Christian graveyard for a while won't help a bit...
But I know, I'm not a Christian. And probably I will never be. (And I have never been, that's the odd part. I was raised atheist.) Anyone else had the same problem?
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