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    Experiencing UPG - spirits etc.

    Without going too deep into my own experiences, I started having some very powerful connections to spiritual forces. I always remain willing to see this experiences as purely my own psyche but I have progressed to giving very serious consideration of the possibility this is NOT just with my psyche and it makes a huge deal with how I would conduct myself when experiencing them. I.e. if it's just me then I can be silly or basically engage however I like without any fear of offending because I am not easily offended and I'm naturally playful and horny amongst myself-- if I am actually experiencing other beings then this would be rude to harmful/dangerous i.e. actually inviting some shit I am so not interested in inviting.

    I began experiencing these things far before I knew anything about paganism- I had a hindu influence in that I was practicing deep meditation, and from a buddhist perspective I found myself growing deeply agitated with the entire concept of nothingness as the most profound state of being. I felt like, that sounds like some bullshit that should be challenged, like some neurosis turned into a "sacred teaching" that I am powerfully opposed to. I felt within me the things I believe in,the powerful love I have for existence-- for living beings, loving dancing, singing, connecting, sharing gifts. I dislike when spiritual teachings come from this ascetic anti-sex, anti-arts, restrictive controlling place that seems to almost value annihilating the species-- like the most profound state of being is when all beings stop having sex and we all just disappear. Not only that but even the spiritual forms of existence are supposed to go into "nothingness" as a state of profound being. Like it sounds like the Lich infiltrated a beautiful life affirming religion and turned it in opposition of itself and sent all the kind loving beings on a kind loving path of annihilating all existence.

    I felt this expansive part of myself rising up against this believing, THERE MUST be forces that oppose this.... not unenlightened forces as buddhism (that I was encountering, there are many forms of variants to please understand I respect not all believe in these teachings on nothingness as the goal of all existence) degradingly teaches-- not forces that are to undeveloped to understand the profound greatness of everything not existing- but powerful and righteous forces.

    I found myself in a battle with destructive forces-- this can be viewed a conversation within myself although I largely find myself identifying with that which affirms life, protection of life and existence, and opposes the teachings and beings that seek to destroy it- that where discussing with me not necessarily a goal of annihilating all existence but the humans and earth realm specifically-- a place that has been infested with violence, rape, and abuse of it's being since the early beginnings. There are other realms that in no way celebrate or deliberately reinforce the torture of beings and their suffering offered up in silver platters for the rest to delight in. The humans, given any opportunity to delight in the taste of vulnerable prey take any excuse-- good beings have come here and tried to work with humans, to teach compassion, to teach the means to build vibrant healthy communities where all can flourish, and humans take the resources and skills offered and turn towards exploitation and selfish pleasure. They do not have the self control to manage power, and powers they were once given have been diminished due to their own deeds.

    The good spirits who spend to long in earth realm themselves get altered by the screams of suffering and the desperation to escape. You eat the food here and the screams of those who suffered and died for you live within you. They change you. The humans are incapable of understanding or caring about the welfare of beings beyond themselves- the have shut themselves off to the living nature of existence.

    However I argue, the jainists have been among us-- we do not have written teachings from ancient european times- there may have been times there where peace toward living beings was practiced. Kindness to plants and animals and affirmations of their lives-- I doubt that there has never been a vegetarian among our northern european ancestors. Among the greeks we know there were pythagoreans and I imagine crops and movements of vegetarian/peace/equality/andcompassion oriented peoples came and went.

    But in earth realm the tyranny of the strong and cruel has often prevailed. After all between those who are willing to kill and those not, who will be left remaining? The nature of this reality favors the worst beings and sets them in the chairs of rulers above all others and it is sad the degree to which humans are incapable of challenging this ideology- so long as they benefit, they celebrate it. They are incapable of developing knowledge of compassionate ethics on their own. Humanity has earned the disdain of many compassionate kind beings who have suffered unbearable difficulties to help to see their work destroyed so easily by humans who leap at the opportunity to rape, pillage, abuse,enslave, exploit, demean, and mistreat anyone or anything they can label as inferior to themselves. When offered the spiritual resources of divine compassion, they turn and choose dark forces that offer opportunities to torture and harm others that compassionate beings will forbid.

    All this was presented to me, however I will argue, what then of the innocents fed to the beasts when earth realm is left alone? They have not earned their suffering, so how can compassionate beings turn their backs and permit it? Either pull them out of earth realm, or put protections in place for them. And to annihilate the innocent among the wretched, this is not the work of compassion.

    But, they say, to undo the level of harm built into the fabric of earth realm to protect the innocent, this is complicated work-- what's more forces in earth realm take the innocent and feed them them the suffering of others. That they do not fight this becomes their own error. The weight of what they are built on hangs on them, and they choose to be blind to it to avoid themselves suffering- at the expense of those on whom they feed.

    The humans are not capable of understanding the divine. Attempts have been made, but they go mad, or they meet with harmful spirits and are incapable or unwilling to challenging harmful teachings given to them and cling to teachings that allow them to beharmful to others rather than growing their capacity to do right by `

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    WOW LOL!! I realized that was turning into a freestyle journal entry type thing and didn't mean to hit send... my computer kind of went nuts and I thought the whole thing was deleted but apparently it got posted here, without me editing it or just filing it away under "my random freestyle weird spiritual thoughts"

    So uh... take that for what it is... :P Now we know what kind of weirdo I am in the recesses of my weird mind? LOL

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    SOOOO TLDR;

    My question, to make the original one I intended to write before I fell down the rabbit hole of my own ramblings-- is are there others here who experience UPG (unconfirmed personal gnosis) or in other ways feel like meditative activities designed to connect with the divine actual seem to become more than just internal and into actual connections with the divine?

    What about spirits (fairies, elves, land spirits) are there others who feel like...attempts to connect actually generate powerful connections? If anyone is willing to share, how do you navigate those waters of remaining skeptic but willing to give the possibility a chance that it's more than just within ones self? At first I thought I was basically just having fun within myself "Oh a rainbow it means magic sky love is there!" and then for me, things began to be a lot more than that. Anyways I will stop there since I am the sort that could turn everything in a 2,000 page book.

    #2
    Re: Experiencing UPG - spirits etc.

    Don't be embarassed by that entry. It was very interesting to read! I giggle at this
    Like it sounds like the Lich infiltrated a beautiful life affirming religion and turned it in opposition of itself and sent all the kind loving beings on a kind loving path of annihilating all existence.
    I don't know if it's supposed to be funny, but I can see the humour in it. I think MO might too.

    I have never experienced physical manifestations out of the ordinary except in healing. All of my connection with God has been very personal and subjective. There are times when I have a message for someone about an issue I don't know about, but that is not about seeing what's there in the spiritual, it's just about edifying someone else.

    I encourage you to simply remain open to the possibility of there being something else. Time will tell. Take a non-judgemental stance on this!

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Experiencing UPG - spirits etc.

      I thank you so much for your response-- I really genuinely did not mean to post that ramble as it came out, I was planning to edit it or delete most of it. I had wanted to ask the question of others experiences WITHOUT getting onto my own but as I started typing I could tell I had some things that needed to come out so I was going with it as it came, but I was planning to save it for later.

      Then the computer kept freezing and I hit a bunch of buttons and thought the whole thing was deleted and I was kind of bummed because it was a fun thought activity for me. Then I checke the forum and I saw it had been posted! And I was really embarrassed! LOL

      Yes I have a weird sense of humor.

      I feel like since I shared some things without editing them, I want to clarify that I am a meat eater, and I am NOT judgmental of people eating meat for health reasons- though I confess I do think we should strive to evolve beyond it. I think the suffering imbedded in reality is not good, and I feel like I am called to work toward alleviating it, to build a flourishing and healthy and enjoyable world in it's space; where people understand their spiritual nature (if there is one), transition to the next life or state of being is painless and comes at the right time for that being (there is some degree of choice or matching the timeline of that species).... anyway...

      By putting that ramble in my question about UPG's I completely diverged from the question and I'm bummed since I've probably missed a lot of interesting responses. I might give a go at making the same question- the main question being the one buried at the bottom- in another post in a few weeks or so.

      My actual UPG experiences actually involve things like my cloud friends (spirit friend?) making faces in the clouds or making rainbows. They don't usually talk to me from on the occasions I have felt some sort of communication it's been very intense. The one I will call compassion mother, I believed in her before she had a name... maybe god as a woman- maybe, to me, the compassion deep within the hearts of everyone one of my ancestors embodied as a force. I had one experience that she was very much real, she said she was there with me and I told her I can't believe she is really there without proof or else I'm just mad. And she said they would make rainbows but the faces are very hard. Well the rainbows lit up the sky, A huge fire rainbow, sundog, and irridescent clouds... AND a face! A beautiful woman's face and I was so happy, you did the face too! So clear. Sometimes the faces are blurry and I can't be sure if they mean anything, but at times there are these... they are so clear. I have thought about taking photographs but I don't know if that would be rude.

      I am sharing this publicly because my own internal feedback is that there are a lot of changes coming and people are beginning to awaken to their own spiritual powers and the divine within and without them. The tides may turn when the predators no longer have the most strength while loves dies and screams powerless.. When love grows strong and powerful to protect and strengthen those who are good of heart and will do as they can to serve others as well they can given the complex situations of scarcity and dependance many beings have developed on harming others to survive/thrive. We will devise new ways for all to thrive without harming others- as much as possible. This is a slow process but some things will need to happen more quickly than others.

      ANYWAYS-- back to being agnostic about my "sense" of things. I know it could be random there are rainbows and sundogs and paradelia is a thing so I remain a skeptic and laugh at myself. If anything, I do have fun pretending there are nice spirit friends. There are times when I know it's real, and I also know it's really too much for me to handle and I asked for eyes that do not see that which I do not need to see, humor to help me laugh in dark spaces, and protections for my humanity that I may forget things not fit for a human to know. Once a womans face was there in the clouds so clear and she was crying... and I asked why she cried for me because I felt ok. She said I asked for eyes that do not see, but she has eyes that see clearly-- my suffering, the suffering of the world.

      I have been asking if I should talk to other humans about this and when I asked, the rainbows have appeared numerous times. Given that I could just be silly, I don't know what this means or if any of it means anything, if I am supposed to share.

      Huh. See my computer is going weird again.

      Theres this sense within me that things might be happening, not just for me but earth realm. People are awakening, people are wanting to connect with the spirit realm, to see the divine as more than a voice you talk to but live in terror of responding (lock those peeps up if they hear the voice of god!) and an actual force or combination of forces/beings that may actually care about us and in some forms or variations be already involved or trying to be more involved with humanity and ourselves.


      There is more ramblings!! Still trying to figure out what it all means if anything. I do try to maintain that "maybe there's really something going on, maybe not?" space, it's hard to know what to make of it or what to do with I assume any message I'm getting essentially come from me, or a spiritual space in me- and even if it comes from beyond, it still needs to be run

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      through my own ethical code, what I understand of compassion, understanding of reason and such not.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Experiencing UPG - spirits etc.

        Originally posted by Domtar View Post
        ... it still needs to be run through my own ethical code, what I understand of compassion, understanding of reason and such not.
        Yes, this is your internal compass. It is a good thing that you know what you stand for as you have come to this point in your life. When you are searching, if you can be anchored in some principles to begin with, you won't get too lost. You can always ground yourself back to what is important. ie that 'filtering' process you are talking about.

        I want to apologise for my writing style, sometimes I don't have enough time to edit my words, so I quickly put words to thoughts and at times my thoughts come out disjointed or seem not fully formed.

        I just want to let you know, you will never figure it all out. I've had the same problem pop up so many times. I want to warn you to put away the need to 'be sure' because that is what will send you crazy. By it's very nature, spirituality is an intuitive sense. Be comfortable in knowing that many other people are experiencing this. It is a shared reality by millions. You aren't alone, you aren't nuts. Or... you aren't the only one who's crazy!

        You are right when you say that our world needs divine compassion now more than ever and not just compassion, but foresight. We have traded away too much of our future for the sake of convenience.

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