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Thread: Families that don't agree

  1. #11
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    I've never agreed with teaching children what to believe. I taught mine about plants, folklore, the stars, local and natural history but as to beliefs... no.

    But the most important thing I ever tried to do was teach them to be good, compassionate human beings. Everything else is just gravy.
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    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  2. #12
    Nihilistic Goddess Medusa's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    Quote Originally Posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
    I've never agreed with teaching children what to believe. I taught mine about plants, folklore, the stars, local and natural history but as to beliefs... no.

    But the most important thing I ever tried to do was teach them to be good, compassionate human beings. Everything else is just gravy.
    See, here's the thing. By doing this you ARE teaching children what to believe. You are teaching them to believe in decent human beings.

    When we act like decent human beings in front of children, that's how they learn to be decent human beings. They soak up everything we do and nothing of what we say. Kudos to parents who get this.
    Satan is my spirit animal

  3. #13
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    See, here's the thing. By doing this you ARE teaching children what to believe. You are teaching them to believe in decent human beings.

    When we act like decent human beings in front of children, that's how they learn to be decent human beings. They soak up everything we do and nothing of what we say. Kudos to parents who get this.
    Aw! Shucks!
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    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  4. #14
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    there's also a difference between teaching a child what to believe and teaching them what YOU believe and/or teaching them others believe...

    I don't lie to my kids, and insofar as much as they are able to understand (and I have the time and patience for) We try to explain other opinions and viewpoints and perspectives and interpretations. We also explain why we do or do not agree with
    with those other ideas and why, and even what the rationale behind those other opinions are and where they may come from. Plus, as parents, we aren't afraid to 1) tell the kids "I don't know" and to apologize to them when we are wrong or make a mistake.

    The hubby wasn't raised like that, but (mostly) I was. No person and certainly no parent is perfect. We lose our temper, we make mistakes.....but we do it out of love and a genuine interest in our children's well being.

    When it came to religion, I was raised in a church-going family, but it was a liberal and progressive branch of Christianity in a fairly tolerant and diverse community (for the midwest) where religion was like underwear--you had it, you wore it, in the right context you might talk about it, and very occasionally someone might get a peek of it...but mostly, people cared more what else you were wearing.

    My family didn't care as long as I was "sure I wasn't gwtting in with some cult". My mom even hosted a Yule party for us one winter when we came home on leave.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  5. #15
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    My parents are Catholic though my mom was raised in a Baptist household and converted when she married my dad. I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten to 4th grade (part of 4th grade). Later, when I was a teenager I began to learn about Wicca. My parents both know about me being Wiccan. Though my Mom is more accepting. When I told my dad he made a big deal about it ('You were baptized, I failed as a parent, etc...') He's a bit of a drama queen and over reacts a bit. He is more accepting now. My brother-in-law knows and thinks I worship a false good. I agree to disagree with him and go to church at Christmas and when we are together for dinner pray with them, though don't cross myself, and pray to my own deities. So it is a bit difficult and can be.
    Anubisa

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

    Reading is Love | Serenity Hutchinson (Online Resume)

  6. #16
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    My adopted parents (aunt & uncle) have long passed, so no issues there. They weren't active church goers and didn't really talk about spirituality unless they were shaming me for something I'd done (situational faith). They did try to discourage me from anything that resembled what my father was into (LHP) - music, D&D, etc.

    I learned much of what I know from my father. I was raised believing he was my uncle until I was 20 - but he was my favorite uncle and we were very close. However, I didn't practice anything since it was such taboo in the rest of the family.

    Recently, I reconnected with my father's side of the family, who are all devout Seventh Day Adventists - so I have not let my beliefs be known to them. Actually, I'm only now starting to peek out of the closet with my immediate family - I openly practice divination at home. My wife, although raised Methodist, is pretty tolerant of alternative beliefs - she loves my shamanic friend & mentor. She doesn't believe in "hocus pocus," but is respectful nonetheless. Well...she chuckles at me, but that's because we've been married for 20 years.

    I've waited this long to open up because, really, I wanted to be sure this is the path for me before I claimed a new interest or belief. Now that I'm sure of myself, we'll be having some conversations about it at home at least - I wouldn't want to hide it from my wife and kids. My adopted daughter (18) already knows and is interested in the path herself. The others think dad's just on one of his tangents and shrug it off like their mom.

  7. #17
    Member daveydwb's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    I was raised to be Christian, mainly by my mother. I grew up in church and held onto those beliefs until a few years after high school, when I realized they weren't my own any more.

    I've been changing a great deal since then, opening my mind to different possibilities and being more open with myself. I haven't told my family that I've started journeying into Heathenism. My sister is open-minded, but I know my parents, mainly my mom, wouldn't like it.

    Luckily my wife is very supportive and encouraging. She's Pagan herself and we both believe in exploring spirituality.

  8. #18
    Bronze Member magusphredde's Avatar
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    Mom was a bar maid ... Dads were ... well ... there were a few ... Only 2 of us 6 have the same dad ... Got most of my humanity and gardening from my grandfather ... Grandma taught me to hate Dick Clark and dancing ... Mom did teach me how to tell really smooth smoking cannibus tho ... Never really thought much of religion until mid-teens when I found out I was related to Samuel Parris of Salemtown ... Ironic ...
    I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them ... John Bernard Books


    Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official; "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

    The Chief nodded in agreement.

    The official continued; "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

    The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine Man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

    Then the chief leaned back and smiled; "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."




  9. #19
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    I was raised Christian and my mom's side is mostly very dedicated, although many of them ironically have gifts that would make them excellent witches lol. I am new on this path, so I'm still studying and learning. I've only come out to my husband, my daughter (11yrs), my sister and one friend. Anyone else that knows are other pagans in my local community that I've reached out to.

    My husband is trying to be open, and wants to be included in my journey but he is skeptical of the magick part of it, although he does agree and is interested in energy flow, using stones and crystals etc. My daughter is very interested and has been looking into it for herself. She considers herself pagan now, but is definitely following her own way that differs from mine (while overlapping in places). My sister has told me long ago she doesn't consider herself Christian anymore and is mostly agnostic. She is curious about my new path and has asked to take part in a ritual to see what its about. My friend is a tolerant Catholic who has always been very witchy without realizing it lol, so she is curious as well but also careful because she is afraid for her soul.

    I don't know how, if ever I could come out of the broom closet to my parents or the rest of my moms family. I am so super close to them all and while they are pretty cool and accepting Christians (they stuck by me during my teen pregnancy with my daughter) I still fear what they would say/do if they knew about me being pagan. It makes me sad to think that either way I lose, because on one hand I can't fully be myself with them (especially my mom whom I very very close to) or on the other potentially sever ties.

    Sigh.

  10. #20
    Copper Member
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    Re: Families that don't agree

    I don't know if this will help but here is a letter from a concerned mom of one of our adult students after taking the time to get to know us:

    To Paul and Trina co-founders of the Arratu Tradition


    I made Paul and Trina to be “magnets”. I bring people to them that would not see


    Me any other way. Say to them; “I will pour out more grace upon you in order for


    my blessings to flow through you to My lost children.” Do not turn your mind away


    from nor harden your hearts toward Me, Jesus. You have so much knowledge


    but I challenge you to search outside of the boundaries in which you’ve already


    studied. Be comfortable knowing that what you learn will not diminish or weaken


    your current beliefs. Rather you will be enriched, expanded and empowered in a


    way you have yet to imagine




    Note from Jesus through his servant, Patsy Lunamann 2/7/2004
    Patsy was a strict Baptist who even agreed to walk circle with us on occasion.

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