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how to get rid of door to door pesterers

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    how to get rid of door to door pesterers

    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.


    #2
    Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

    Now, why didn't I think of that?

    I always go to the door in my robes and after opening the door, I yell back, "The sacrifice is here!"
    The Dragon sees infinity and those it touches are forced to feel the reality of it.
    I am his student and his partner. He is my guide and an ominous friend.

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      #3
      Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

      Mr Penry usually tells unwanted callers, 'I'm sorry, I'm just giving my dog an enema.'

      That usually does the trick.
      www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


      Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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        #4
        Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

        Originally posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
        Mr Penry usually tells unwanted callers, 'I'm sorry, I'm just giving my dog an enema.'

        That usually does the trick.
        Your next book should anecdotes about Mr. P. In cartoon form...
        Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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          #5
          Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

          I love this. Growing up the only solicitors we would get were Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons. My Father would tell them he was getting ready to do some sort of house work, but he would let listen if they would help. On one occasion a couple of young Mormons helped him rebuild the basement steps, and never returned again.

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            #6
            Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

            I love how the knocker yells "HIIII!" with that sarcastic tone.
            baah.

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              #7
              Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

              Oh, if only...

              I had a friend once who said she didn't own the house, we were only there to steal the furniture.

              Funnily enough, the cops were not called.
              She is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness. ~~(=^._.^)

              I got my war paint on and I'm off to go passive-aggressive all over these socially awkward man-witches. :XD:

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                #8
                Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

                You know those Mormon and Jehovah Witness guys? Yeah? These guys rock up in teams and families, often bringing elderlies and young children with them. Once upon a particularly unfortunate morning, I was blind drunk from a night out and a family came knocking at 6.30 AM.
                I opened the door, oh yes I did, and there they stood with jaws hanging and eyes popping from their sockets. I thought WTF, but I gave them the prettiest, most alluring smile anyway. They hurriedly excused themselves and their kind never ever bothered my house again.
                I wondered why they weren't so keen this time and realization stroke me like a sledgehammer. I have a habit of ripping ALL my clothes off when I got home drunk. Apparently, that's how I presented myself to them when I opened the door. I wasn't that happy with what I did, but I was pleased with the result. lol

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                  #9
                  Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

                  They're so scared of naked bodies :XD laugh:

                  We have so many Mormons here they don't come round the houses. But we have JW conventions every few weeks. *ugh*
                  She is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness. ~~(=^._.^)

                  I got my war paint on and I'm off to go passive-aggressive all over these socially awkward man-witches. :XD:

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                    #10
                    Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

                    Originally posted by October View Post
                    They're so scared of naked bodies :XD laugh:
                    lmaooo... THATS what I figured out... the haaaard waaay. lol

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                      #11
                      Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

                      Originally posted by B. de Corbin View Post
                      Your next book should anecdotes about Mr. P. In cartoon form...
                      I don't think anyone would every believe them...

                      - - - Updated - - -

                      My father, for reasons known only to himself, kept a yamulka near the front door and put it on whenever someone he didn't recognise called. He then politely informed them that he was Jewish, one of the chosen tribe of Israel and they usually left us in peace. Mind you, that was a long time ago.
                      www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


                      Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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                        #12
                        Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

                        ^^^That's hilarious!
                        sigpic
                        Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                          #13
                          Re: how to get rid of door to door pesterers

                          I found a way around JW coming to my door ... I live in a trailer down a 300 foot driveway flanked by ducks and chickens and the property is owned by Mormons ...
                          I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them ... John Bernard Books


                          Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official; "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

                          The Chief nodded in agreement.

                          The official continued; "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

                          The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine Man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

                          Then the chief leaned back and smiled; "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."



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