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Should Men be able to hit Women?

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    #31
    Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

    Originally posted by Briton View Post
    If you, a man, are stronger or as strong as the woman, why would you hit? This isn't a boxing match, nor a movie. Just restrain them.

    If you're weaker than the woman, well, if you're weaker than a man, would you pick a fight with them? If they initiated it, then you have two options: get out or hit back. Let's face it, get out is the sensible or wise choice. But how many actually would do that? Whilst hitting back isn't the better choice, I wouldn't judge.

    Personally, I can't imagine doing anything other than restraining. I actually had an abusive ex, who either hit me or threw stuff at me. I held her back every time, I never hit her. One day, however, I got sick of it all and raised my hand to her. That wasn't me and I knew it was time to get out.

    Hitting back is really a last resort. Somehow recommending hitting just seems very... bestial and vengeful. Don't get me wrong, I like seeing people get their comeuppance, but if your loved one is hitting you (women don't have a tendency of getting drunk in bars and starting fights, that's more of a guy thing) one has to think why. Either you wronged them, or they're being unreasonable, or they don't know how to control their anger. If you spend a moment to think about the ethics of "hitting back", you've already reasoned. If you can reason, you should know that they're probably going to regret it later. It's not about being better than them, it's about not punishing someone for their mistake or, in the case of people who have been abused, for someone else's wrongdoing.

    Unless you have no other option (which still, obviously, isn't a good thing) don't hit, restrain or get away. You don't improve a situation by lowering yourself into it.
    I raised to hit back either way. Gender doesn't matter or whatever you chose to identify didn't matter when it came to my Kin. Then again my family is pretty violent as it is. It was usually "If someone hits you and you don't hit them back I'm beating your ass" or "I'm whooping you" I first heard it the time my six year old cousin threw a high heeled shoe at me and it hit me in my face right above my eye.
    edit:what does strength have to do with it? I don't understand why you dish something out if you can't take it back. I'm not saying the guy has to hit her full force and knock her out, but still.

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    Originally posted by kalynraye View Post
    So again I will be agreeing with PM on this one. He said it perfectly. I would also agree again with I'm not really for the violence act but I have 5 brothers, all 5 of them are excellent men. I can also say that if they were hit by a women in violence they wouldn't have to hit her back because I would do it! All of my brothers are over 6 feet tall and are solid muscles. They work in concert, plumbing, pipe lines and 1 is a police officer, so they are all solid muscle. They couldn't hit a women without causing serious pain, not that they would try to. And because of this they wouldn't hit her back. This is where I'm the big sister comes in play.

    The idea that if you're big enough to step up to someone and hit them then you're big enough to be hit back doesn't work for me. Again 5 brothers over 6 feet and I'm 5'3. I have been plenty angry to hit them when we were younger and I did and never once did they hit me back no matter how mad they were at me because they're fist/hand packs way way more power than mine ever did. Most men are stronger the women, let's be honest here, and can restrain a woman instead of hitting her.
    That doesn't really register with me but ok.
    "Turn, and look in the mirror. What do you see?" Her own brown eyes stared back at her until she was nothing but a blur.

    "I see you. Red lipstick spread perfectly over your lush mouth, brown eyes that hold centuries upon centuries of secrets. A face made to entice even the most celibate of men and women alike. A red dress that sways and moves with your body, making you a temptation like no other."

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      #32
      Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

      This is a tricky question indeed. I don't think men shouldn't be able to hit woman unless if the woman is threatening the man life. He should hit woman with self-defense.

      Comment


        #33
        Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

        I was raised to believe that the only time you should resort to violence is when a) it is to defend your life or the life of someone incapable of defending themselves or b) when you deem that the issue is worthing getting your arse kicked for*.

        Hitting someone isn't appropriate. It is even less appropriate when you are the person in power in the relationship dynamics and/or when you are physically stronger/more capable, whether you are male or female. Generally speaking, in my experience as a veteran, this is usually the male and the victim is either the partner or the kids or both.



        *Since some people have difficulty with this, I will explain it: Any moron that gets in a fight does so with the expectation of winning--for the most part, intentionally making the choice for violence to prove a point, to save face, or to show dominance is the craven and ultimately cowardly and shows a complete lack of discipline. If something is truly worth fighting for, it's worth losing for (this doesn't mean you shouldn't actually try to win when you are fighting). If you can't say, "this is important enough to me that it is worth getting the floor smeared with my face," then it's not worth hitting or hitting back for. Also, being willing to die for something doesn't count either--martyrdom is its own success. Most of the time, it actually takes more courage and more self-control to turn around and walk away than to hit back.
        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
        sigpic

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          #34
          Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

          Originally posted by EndlessCravings View Post
          I raised to hit back either way. Gender doesn't matter or whatever you chose to identify didn't matter when it came to my Kin. Then again my family is pretty violent as it is. It was usually "If someone hits you and you don't hit them back I'm beating your ass" or "I'm whooping you" I first heard it the time my six year old cousin threw a high heeled shoe at me and it hit me in my face right above my eye.
          edit:what does strength have to do with it? I don't understand why you dish something out if you can't take it back. I'm not saying the guy has to hit her full force and knock her out, but still.
          My father - who was fairly enlightened for his time - told me not to hit any man. Even if he hit me first.
          'Poison him instead,' he told me. 'Much easier.'

          For some reason though, people are afraid of my cooking...
          www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


          Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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            #35
            Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

            Like I said before if a woman threatened a man's life I believe the man should fight back and defend himself. Other than that, it's a big no-no. I understand that there are men who's usually phsically powerful than women because of their body built but there are some women who are just as powerful and dangerous as men. Just take Rhonda Rousey for example, Her muscles are huge and she can knock out so many people including men for less than a second.

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              #36
              Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

              Originally posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
              This is a tricky question indeed. I don't think men shouldn't be able to hit woman unless if the woman is threatening the man life. He should hit woman with self-defense.
              That's basically what I'm asking. If she hits you, should you be able to hit her back.

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              Originally posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
              My father - who was fairly enlightened for his time - told me not to hit any man. Even if he hit me first.
              'Poison him instead,' he told me. 'Much easier.'

              For some reason though, people are afraid of my cooking...
              What type of dishes do you cook?
              "Turn, and look in the mirror. What do you see?" Her own brown eyes stared back at her until she was nothing but a blur.

              "I see you. Red lipstick spread perfectly over your lush mouth, brown eyes that hold centuries upon centuries of secrets. A face made to entice even the most celibate of men and women alike. A red dress that sways and moves with your body, making you a temptation like no other."

              Comment


                #37
                Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                Originally posted by EndlessCravings View Post
                That's basically what I'm asking. If she hits you, should you be able to hit her back.

                Hitting someone is not the same as threatening their life.
                Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                sigpic

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                  #38
                  Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                  Originally posted by thalassa View Post
                  Hitting someone is not the same as threatening their life.
                  'Preciate the correction, Thalassa.
                  "Turn, and look in the mirror. What do you see?" Her own brown eyes stared back at her until she was nothing but a blur.

                  "I see you. Red lipstick spread perfectly over your lush mouth, brown eyes that hold centuries upon centuries of secrets. A face made to entice even the most celibate of men and women alike. A red dress that sways and moves with your body, making you a temptation like no other."

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                    Personally I think the question here also has to be addressed from a social aspect of culture. In western culture's women are still very much placed on a pedestal in regards to how we think they should act and should be interacted with. It could probably be viewed in the context of gender norms and such. So the idea of hitting is taught on many levels to be wrong from the aspect women are the weaker sex and are to be treated differently. It also, to me anyway, falls into that false sense of equality that many seem to imply they want but so strongly stand in opposition to.

                    Like I implied earlier there is a vast difference between how the West see's violence and equality compared to many other areas.
                    I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                      Originally posted by monsno_leedra View Post
                      Personally I think the question here also has to be addressed from a social aspect of culture. In western culture's women are still very much placed on a pedestal in regards to how we think they should act and should be interacted with. It could probably be viewed in the context of gender norms and such. So the idea of hitting is taught on many levels to be wrong from the aspect women are the weaker sex and are to be treated differently. It also, to me anyway, falls into that false sense of equality that many seem to imply they want but so strongly stand in opposition to.

                      Like I implied earlier there is a vast difference between how the West see's violence and equality compared to many other areas.
                      Yep. I think I had a discussion with a teacher about a woman demanding equality, hitting a dude, but when he hit her back she went "You can't hit me, I'm a woman!" Seen it somewhere.
                      "Turn, and look in the mirror. What do you see?" Her own brown eyes stared back at her until she was nothing but a blur.

                      "I see you. Red lipstick spread perfectly over your lush mouth, brown eyes that hold centuries upon centuries of secrets. A face made to entice even the most celibate of men and women alike. A red dress that sways and moves with your body, making you a temptation like no other."

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                        Originally posted by EndlessCravings View Post
                        Yep. I think I had a discussion with a teacher about a woman demanding equality, hitting a dude, but when he hit her back she went "You can't hit me, I'm a woman!" Seen it somewhere.
                        It's not that he can't hit her but he should not hit her. But she shouldn't be hitting him eaither. No one should be hitting anyone. Like Brinton said even if she hits you first there are other alternatives to hitting her back, restrain her or walk away. I have said it once and I will say it again most men are stronger then women, and I'll guarantee that most men even open palmed hit harder then women. So unless your fighting for your life don't hit her back.
                        "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

                        "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

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                          #42
                          Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                          Originally posted by kalynraye View Post
                          It's not that he can't hit her but he should not hit her. But she shouldn't be hitting him eaither. No one should be hitting anyone. Like Brinton said even if she hits you first there are other alternatives to hitting her back, restrain her or walk away. I have said it once and I will say it again most men are stronger then women, and I'll guarantee that most men even open palmed hit harder then women. So unless your fighting for your life don't hit her back.
                          *Briton
                          Okay.
                          "Turn, and look in the mirror. What do you see?" Her own brown eyes stared back at her until she was nothing but a blur.

                          "I see you. Red lipstick spread perfectly over your lush mouth, brown eyes that hold centuries upon centuries of secrets. A face made to entice even the most celibate of men and women alike. A red dress that sways and moves with your body, making you a temptation like no other."

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                            Originally posted by kalynraye View Post
                            It's not that he can't hit her but he should not hit her. But she shouldn't be hitting him eaither. No one should be hitting anyone. Like Brinton said even if she hits you first there are other alternatives to hitting her back, restrain her or walk away. I have said it once and I will say it again most men are stronger then women, and I'll guarantee that most men even open palmed hit harder then women. So unless your fighting for your life don't hit her back.
                            Bolded mine. That's that cultural and social conditioning kicking in. In many ways it's suggestive, well to me anyway, of it's condoned for the woman to do it as she is not expected to suffer the returns of her actions. Figure for most males is conditioned in us that if we project outward then we can expect a return force against us. Yet the idea that woman should be allowed to do so without an equal return is in part based on that they are petite and almost childish in their actions so there for not specifically responsible nor suffer the same returns.
                            I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                              Originally posted by EndlessCravings View Post
                              *Briton
                              Okay.
                              Yep thanks for the correction.

                              - - - Updated - - -

                              Originally posted by monsno_leedra View Post
                              Bolded mine. That's that cultural and social conditioning kicking in. In many ways it's suggestive, well to me anyway, of it's condoned for the woman to do it as she is not expected to suffer the returns of her actions. Figure for most males is conditioned in us that if we project outward then we can expect a return force against us. Yet the idea that woman should be allowed to do so without an equal return is in part based on that they are petite and almost childish in their actions so there for not specifically responsible nor suffer the same returns.
                              You missed the next sentence after that, which stated she shouldn't be hitting him either. No where have I stated that she should be allowed to hit and not suffer consequences. I did say however there were other ways to handle it then striking her back.
                              "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

                              "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

                                Originally posted by kalynraye View Post
                                .. You missed the next sentence after that, which stated she shouldn't be hitting him either. No where have I stated that she should be allowed to hit and not suffer consequences. I did say however there were other ways to handle it then striking her back.
                                No I didn't but the position your presenting is the woman should be excused. Yes many will say they shouldn't hit but then they also don't start out justifying why they shouldn't be touched as the lead in. It's one or the other, they don't hit and no one should or if they do hit then they should be expecting an equal return. Stating they shouldn't be because they are weaker and men stronger is the very thing I stated, that social and cultural conditioning. Not much different in the aspect of a son is a son till he takes a wife but a daughter is a daughter all of her life. It's how our culture and society is conditioned to forgive and not raise them to expect an equal return for their actions.
                                I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

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