I've read lots on different practices that pagans and witches do, from offerings to spells, divination to cleansing. And even as I'm researching all this, and looking into mythology or reading books about mythology, one thing that has been a stumbling block for me to getting closer to my deity/deities has been that I still don't have a clear idea on how spiritual relationships between deities and people actually works. Like, I know you can practice holidays and rituals and do other magical things for the deities, but what happens beyond that? What do deities expect from us on a personal level, besides rituals? What sort of things would I gain by working with deities?
I'm asking because I'm a person who wants solid understanding of theory before diving into it. With christianity, it was all well and good to just ask the christian god about how to remove our sins, pray for other people, etc. But when I was into christianity, I sort of got into this anxiety where I thought the christian god had to micromanage our lives, that everything I had to do had to be for the glory of that god, otherwise I was sinning. A few months back, I noticed that my own thoughts or expectations about deities were overriding what my deity/deities were actually trying to tell me, or that they weren't even trying to tell me anything at all. I thought they were trying to micromanage my life, and beyond the first few successful contacts I had with my deities, I reverted back to that kind of anxiety. I know Paganism is not christianity, so really, I just want to know how successful relationships with deities can work, without my mind taking me too far down a dangerous and confused path.
I'm asking because I'm a person who wants solid understanding of theory before diving into it. With christianity, it was all well and good to just ask the christian god about how to remove our sins, pray for other people, etc. But when I was into christianity, I sort of got into this anxiety where I thought the christian god had to micromanage our lives, that everything I had to do had to be for the glory of that god, otherwise I was sinning. A few months back, I noticed that my own thoughts or expectations about deities were overriding what my deity/deities were actually trying to tell me, or that they weren't even trying to tell me anything at all. I thought they were trying to micromanage my life, and beyond the first few successful contacts I had with my deities, I reverted back to that kind of anxiety. I know Paganism is not christianity, so really, I just want to know how successful relationships with deities can work, without my mind taking me too far down a dangerous and confused path.
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