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Thread: Faking pain

  1. #1
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Faking pain

    So, my daughter is 2 now.. kinda hard to believe actually. I'm starting to think she's faking pain. When I lay her down for naps or bedtime she really fights us. And she's started complaining about things hurting. Her teeth hurt, but only when we're putting her to bed. Her finger hurts, but only when we're putting her to bed. Her back, leg, elbow, face, head. She literally picks a body part and says it hurts. It's different every day. Sometime two or three at one time. I'm almost positive that she's faking, but concerned enough to be considering a doctor. I did a little Googling and I haven't really found anything about kids that young faking this sort of thing (it seems to typically be school age) and I haven't really heard of it in toddlers before, which is part of what worries me.

    Any of you go through this phase? What'd you do?
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

  2. #2
    Nihilistic Goddess Medusa's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    I am not a parent. With that I do have a question. Where is she getting the idea to say she's 'hurt'? I say this with my experience as a kid growing up with a grandmother and a mother with lots of medical issues. Not realizing it, I probably said I was having 'headaches' way more then I should have simply because I was mimicking what was heard around me and seeing the attention they got.
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  3. #3
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    That's pretty common for toddlers and preschoolers. Also common is making themselves sick on purpose--crying or screaming to the point of gagging and even puking, hyperventilating, headbanging, etc. Only you can really say whether its a meltdown (a frustration driven legitimate sensory overload) or a tantrum (an attention seeking behavior for the purpose of getting one's way). The more attention you bring to it, the more likely they are to repeat it--they learn pretty fast what gets a reaction.

    My babysitter's kid figured out around the same age that she figured out that could make herself hyperventilate until she puked or scream until she puked. Naptime and bedtime were her favorites for this, also when she had to turn off the TV or take a bath.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  4. #4
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    When we moved to WV and my sister had anger problems my mom took us to a psychologist and went herself to get help. My sister would bite me and scream and throw temper tantrums. It was crazy. I'm not a mother either. I'm not suggesting you take your child to a psychologist either. However, you might want to keep putting her in bed at the same time and see if she quits it after a couple of weeks. I would think it would go away. My mother started ignoring (well not truly ignoring) my sister's tantrums, letting her throw them and just exhaust herself. So, it might be something like having to let her wear herself out with this idea of faking sickness.
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    Re: Faking pain

    I know her daytime sitter gets migraines occasionally, so the head pain could come from that, as to where she heard it. We have to women who have nasty period cramps every month in our household, and my husband has back issues. We don't really hide any of that from her and she is at an age where she picks that sorry of thing up.

    She gets hugs from everybody and I usually go say her prayer with her and give her a couple minutes of cuddles, a book reading etc and then we leave her in her room. She's basically cried herself to sleep for a year now. We've never given her attention for that behavior. We'll do quick checks if she's sounding too worked up and we're worried, but that's it.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    Does she ever complain of pain when she's doing something she enjoys?
    www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  7. #7
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    Quote Originally Posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
    Does she ever complain of pain when she's doing something she enjoys?

    ^this is the real test of whether or not she's actually in pain!
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  8. #8
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    As everyone knows,raising kids is not for the faint of heart...Kids are a test for your becoming a saint
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  9. #9
    Silver Member Tylluan Penry's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    Quote Originally Posted by anunitu View Post
    As everyone knows,raising kids is not for the faint of heart...Kids are a test for your becoming a saint
    Or in my case for becoming a bloody old bat!
    www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

  10. #10
    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: Faking pain

    Quote Originally Posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
    Does she ever complain of pain when she's doing something she enjoys?
    Not that I've noticed. She complains about her legs hurting every now and then during the day, but she's also full of toddler bruises from all the stumbling/bumping/running to fast and falling things toddlers do.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

    I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
    It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
    Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
    -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

    Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

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