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Thread: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

  1. #1541
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Quote Originally Posted by Prickly Pear View Post
    Anubisa, sorry to hear you are feeling so discouraged. Bariatric issues are tough. If it has been 2 years, then maybe talking to someone from a different program, or even a knowledgeable counselor or peer group might be helpful. It could give you some perspective on whether the WVU program is in line with current standards and practices. It can also give you an idea if it is just some bad staff attitude at the clinic you are attending, or whether you are stuck somewhere yourself and need a fresh perspective. It sounds like you are beating yourself up a lot right now, which usually starts to work against positive forward movement out of any problem. If it is any comfort, I don't think that many people make it through life without developing some behaviors that they regret later. Some are just more easily hidden than others, or more socially acceptable for whatever reason. You know yours, and you have accepted that you need to change some things. That is more than many people ever do. Keep chipping away, because anyone who is as kind as the person I see here deserves to treat themselves with the full love, respect and compassion that you give others.
    Thanks Prickly Pear. They say that it's not selfish to put yourself first. I just can't seem to do that for myself. I have to find a way to force myself to do that or I won't change and I have to change somehow to make myself better in every way possible.
    Anubisa

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

    Reading is Love | Serenity Hutchinson (Online Resume)

  2. #1542
    Sr. Member Eleanor's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Quote Originally Posted by anubisa View Post
    Thanks Prickly Pear. They say that it's not selfish to put yourself first. I just can't seem to do that for myself. I have to find a way to force myself to do that or I won't change and I have to change somehow to make myself better in every way possible.
    I know where you're coming from. I used to let people walk all over me. I felt super guilty when I refused requests from others, I couldn't say no. Last year something happened that was sort of the last straw for me and I changed almost instantly to someone standing up for herself and thinking about herself first. It still feels strange and I'm still learning, but I've never felt guilty again when saying no.

    I've learned that if you don't put yourself first, someone else will put themselves before you (if that makes sense). I guess it takes practice like all things.
    Wherever you are in life is exactly where you need to be right now.

  3. #1543
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    My other main residence on ze webs is having technical issues.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

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    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  4. #1544
    PF Ordo Hereticus MaskedOne's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Every once in a while, having more PC equipment than I know what to do with can be useful. Now I just need to find an HDMI cable.
    "It is not simply enough to know the light…a Jedi must feel the tension between the two sides of the Force…in himself and in the universe."
    ―Thon

    "When to the Force you truly give yourself, all you do expresses the truth of who you are,"

    Yoda

    Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis



  5. #1545
    Bronze Member Bartmanhomer's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    I'm sad that Etika passed away.

  6. #1546
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Went to the weight loss orientation yesterday and found out about the food program and exercise program. I am looking into it, but I am also keeping my mind open about going to UPMC. I just don't know yet. One thing I am certain of is joining a gym. I am going to look into joining Planet Fitness soon.
    Anubisa

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

    Reading is Love | Serenity Hutchinson (Online Resume)

  7. #1547
    Silver Member anubisa's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    I had a really, and I mean really bad day today. I had been out with my parents and Ayden, my nephew. We went to Eat'n'Park which I paid for, then went to Office Depot. I got some stuff. I'm starting my first class for Web Design in July. After that my parents were trying to find HealthWorks which is this rehab/fitness center. I've been having issues with them and trying to explain my feelings. It might have been because I didn't get much sleep. I came home and couldn't get to sleep until 5:00 in the morning. My boy dog kept getting me up to put in my parents bed then I woke up at 10:30. Maybe getting 5 hours of sleep. Anyway, I had checked this morning with Planet Fitness and their rates. Which I feel is better than the place that my parents are going (they get it free because they are Silver Sneakers members). I guess I got a little irritated and my dad took it wrong and yelled at me. We were outside thank Lord Anubis, but I had to walk away from everyone because I just finally broke into tears. My dad apologized and I tried my best to explain everything to him, but I have been crying off and on today. Maybe I need it, but it is very hard for me.
    Anubisa

    Dedicated and devoted to Lord Anubis and Lady Bast. A follower of the path of Egyptian Wicca.

    Reading is Love | Serenity Hutchinson (Online Resume)

  8. #1548
    Newbie nykteria's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Anubisa, I'm so sorry your day was so crummy yesterday. Sending positive energy that today is a good day!


    I'm thinking waking up at 4:30 sucks. You can't just roll over and go back to sleep because your bladder is protesting loudly (or at least mine does on certain meds and after 7 pregnancies and births). SO after you go to the bathroom and you're somewhat awake, you realize you're hungry, and you remember there are things you have to do, and the cat wants to eat, and so you might as well stay up. But it's too eeeaaaaarrrrrrrrllllllyyyy! (insert whining tone)

  9. #1549
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Quote Originally Posted by nykteria View Post
    I'm thinking waking up at 4:30 sucks. You can't just roll over and go back to sleep because your bladder is protesting loudly (or at least mine does on certain meds and after 7 pregnancies and births). SO after you go to the bathroom and you're somewhat awake, you realize you're hungry, and you remember there are things you have to do, and the cat wants to eat, and so you might as well stay up. But it's too eeeaaaaarrrrrrrrllllllyyyy! (insert whining tone)
    I feel your pain. I wake up at 4 am M-F. It always sucks. It never gets better. It is always terrible. People talk about waking up at 6 or 7 as too early, and all I can think is that's my sleeping in time! It never gets better. Any time before 5 am is always stupid.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  10. #1550
    Sr. Member Eleanor's Avatar
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    Re: Whatcha thinking about now? (v2)

    Quote Originally Posted by thalassa View Post
    I feel your pain. I wake up at 4 am M-F. It always sucks. It never gets better. It is always terrible. People talk about waking up at 6 or 7 as too early, and all I can think is that's my sleeping in time! It never gets better. Any time before 5 am is always stupid.
    You guys win XD I have to get up at 5 am every morning to beat traffic. I do want to get 8 hours of sleep every night, so that means I'm in bed by 9 pm. It feels like a waste of my evening, but it's better than traffic jams every day. I tried sleeping 6 or 7 hours a night, but I just couldn't get used to it.
    Wherever you are in life is exactly where you need to be right now.

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