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Self-identity and appearance

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    Self-identity and appearance


    #2
    Re: Self-identity and appearance

    Remove expectations. 2 - 3 hours is way too much time if you don't like the result, or you don't enjoy the process.

    Try to form a habit (i.e. force yourself) of giving yourself the once-over (shower 5 minutes, brush teeth 2 minutes, brush hair 2 minutes, put on clean clothes 5 minutes) every day, including days off.

    If you aren't motivated to do it out of respect for yourself, offer it as an act of kindness to those around you.
    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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      #3
      Re: Self-identity and appearance

      I think the real problem here is that you don't like what you see on the inside. As long as you hate yourself on the inside, what you do to yourself on the outside will not matter.

      Why do you feel you need to wear makeup? Why do you feel the need to shave? I appear female and do neither, and I am no uglier or unhappier for it.

      Basic hygiene is a must. Convince yourself out of bed in the morning, even if that's all you can manage. When you can manage that reliably, convince yourself to bathe.

      Then work on self-love, because it sure sounds like you need it.


      Mostly art.

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        #4
        Re: Self-identity and appearance

        I also struggle with mental health, and it took me a long, long time to like what I saw in the mirror. what Volcaniclastic said has a lot of truth, if you aren't comfortable with who you are, then how you dress and look isn't going to change that.

        D. de corbin had it right, remove the expectations. Focus on self care and basic hygiene: Take a shower when you need it (depending on hair type and lifestyle, this is gonna vary. Some people say a light one everyday, some say every other day, etc.) . Brush your teeth. Put lotion on as needed.

        Ultimately, the goal is to find clothes and a style that make you feel happy and confident. So if you like only wearing lipstick, then find a shade that makes you feel good and rock it! You feel most confident when you wear tank tops and jeans? Stock up on those! You like bold, bright, twirly things? I can show you some stores and we can figure out when they have stuff going on clearance.

        It's a struggle, but it boils down to: Self care and self expression. Don't waste your energy on things that do nothing for you.
        ~Rudyard Kipling, The Cat Who Walks By Himself

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          #5
          Re: Self-identity and appearance

          So...I roll out of bed 10-20 minutes before I need to leave for work, toss on whatever clothes (I sleep au natural) I find that smell clean and are weather appropriate, wear my hair in a ponytail, and rarely shave or wear makeup. If I do either of the latter two, the hubby would probably think he forgot our anniversary or something. While I don't "not bother" because I'm not happy with myself, I don't think that someone who does "bother" is a sign that someone necessarily likes themselves either. I honestly, care very little for external and typical standards of beauty for myself or others. Its one thing if someone likes wearing makeup or dressing up (sometimes it can be fun, I do it for historical reenacting, but its part of what is essentially a costume for an alter ego of sorts), that's fine, but if you don't actually enjoy it and are only doing it to meet societal standards, eff that and find a routine that works for you and helps you better about yourself. Stop focusing on how you look and start focusing on how you feel. Feeling clean and smelling good--the basic hygiene stuff, feels nice. Do it for that. If makeup doesn't make you feel better, don't use it. Figure out what does make you feel better--as long as its something constructive and good for you, do that instead. Sometimes though, you just have to decide to do something you know will suck first but make you feel better in the long run that you just don't feel like doing. If you think the reason you can't do it on your own motivation because you are depressed, get professional help.
          Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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