i know logically that depression is a sort of chemical imbalance of some kind. ive tried treating my own depression with pharma drugs, and eventually smoked herbal substances which seems to help but yeah. That darkness has a horrible kinda draw and yeah i've dealt with depression my whole life but I can't help but admit that i do learn things from my bouts of depression. And then i get bouts of insomnia sometimes when im depressed. art is great therapy too btw. found it helps to have some kinda channel for that bile..bleed it out and ride it though
If I may suggest something for you to do: Please keep this in consideration. This is strictly my opinion so you don't have to go with this, if you don't feel its right. It's simply a suggestion. You mentioned you go to AA and your an atheist. I believe this is a bad fit. Why? Because its a system that teaches they hold no religious views, yet they pray the lords prayer which Jesus Christ taught in the bible. This totally contradicts the belief system and makes AA in my opinion, a total joke and a place of mind control/brainwash. Have you ever tried Smart Recovery? They accept everyone regardless of their beliefs. They do not believe in going to god to help fix your problems. Addiction does not exist. You can overcome anything you put your mind 2. Don't let AA tell you that you have a disease. This is totally wrong in my opinion and will only increase your guilt which leads many in AA to relapse. Of course, AA isn't for everybody and some people may find it works great for them.
However, when AA becomes dogmatic and most people in it believe that you have to go through AA in order to be cured, that is when I believe it is a pure cult. Sorry... It's what I believe. Try Smart recovery out. With your atheistic views, I believe you'll find smart recovery a better fit.
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