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Pagans And Their Idols

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    Pagans And Their Idols

    Let us imagine a fictitious world in which there are five Pagan gods: (1) an Arachnid (Tick), (2) a Female-Human-Athlete, (3) a Bear, (4) a Cow (no horns), and (5) a Wyvern-bird. Then there are common people who have a choice to worship either one god, multiple gods, or none of them.

    Now, worshippers who want to worship only one of these gods need a method to "channel" their worship to the proper god. What better way than to set up an idol that resembles the god being worshipped?

    The Pagan scholars in the town temple have an argument about how the universe is deciding which god to send the worshipper's worship to. Some scholars/shamans are of the view that the color of the idol matters, others are of the view the building material of the idol matters, and others still are of the view that the element (Earth, Fire, Air, Ether, or Water) that surrounds the idol determines which god the worship is sent to.

    Nothing is decided until a young boy walks in and notes that four of the gods have the same number of extremities (which is 5), while the Tick has 9 (8 legs and 1 snout). [The spine and everything in line with it (head and tail) count as the same extremity.] Then, the Pagan scholars finally have a eureka moment and realize why a certain god-king is going around trying to smash all their idols - he actually works for the Tick-Arachnid!

    See the Arachnid, in our fictitious world, had realized that very few people worship it because they find its form grotesque. To get around this problem, it decided to smash all of the idols; so, a more "transcendental" form of worship is shared among all five gods.

    But the sad part was, in addition to being dark and ugly, the Arachnid was also greedy. So, it was not happy with just sharing 20% of the worship while it can receive a much larger share by introducing icons into society which have 9 extremities.

    Finally the unfortunate previous Pagans in this "fictitious" world (having lost all their idols and brainwashed into believing idol worship is stupid) were being forced to send their worship to only the Tick Arachnid through the 9-extremitied icons it had proliferated into society.


    When I can, I will post pictures to teach Pagans in our world how to count the extremities of an idol so they do not end up like the duped people in this story. This is my last new thread for a while, but I will respond to criticism and questions for the 3 threads I posted today when I can.
    :=(::B)::B)::B)::B):
    Last edited by WyvernWorship; 20 Aug 2018, 15:08.

    #2
    Re: Pagans And Their Idols

    I know someone will eventually ask about Ether as mentioned in the story above. So, I will add my humourous blurb about it in a way that only a Pagan will get:

    The scientist-atheist has been trying to convince the Pagan scholars for centuries that
    Ether (the Fourth Element) does not actually exist.


    However, our Pagan scholars are adamant that they have ample evidence for its occurance.
    Different cultures have called it different things throughout the ages. The blue-skinned
    underground races call it Vril. The Hatha-yogists call it Prana. The Japanese Karate martial
    artists call it "Key Force". But most most importantly, the Jedi religion adherents call it
    "The Light Side Of The Force".


    Again, humour is used as not to offend those with more politically-correct views.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Pagans And Their Idols

      ...I actually just don't get the joke. Someone explain it to my dense brain?


      Mostly art.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Pagans And Their Idols

        Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
        ...I actually just don't get the joke. Someone explain it to my dense brain?
        That's 'cause yer notta real pagan.
        Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Pagans And Their Idols

          If a large number of appendages rendered a god unappealing, there'd be no flying spaghetti monster.
          sigpic
          Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Pagans And Their Idols

            I have no idea of what this is about.

            Check out my blog! The Daily Satanist

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Pagans And Their Idols

              Originally posted by B. de Corbin View Post
              That's 'cause yer notta real pagan.
              True dat. I'm one of those dirt worshipping atheist hippies.


              Mostly art.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Pagans And Their Idols

                Umm, metaphor for Abrahamic religion?? I'm lost.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Pagans And Their Idols

                  Originally posted by B. de Corbin View Post
                  That's 'cause yer notta real pagan.
                  Last edited by WyvernWorship; 21 Aug 2018, 15:35.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Pagans And Their Idols

                    I...don't know where to start with this.

                    When I can, I will post pictures to teach Pagans in our world how to count the extremities of an idol so they do not end up like the duped people in this story.
                    Just out of curiosity, how many pagans live in your world?
                    ~Rudyard Kipling, The Cat Who Walks By Himself

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Pagans And Their Idols

                      waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???
                      MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                      all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                      NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                      don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                      sigpic

                      my new page here,let me know what you think.


                      nothing but the shadow of what was

                      witchvox
                      http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

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