Ask a Mortitian

[Eleanor]

Yeah. I think I would rather be cremated as well. Your parents will have to talk with the funeral home where your grandparents are buried though. Likely there will be a fee of some kind to bury your ashes on their land. My girlfriend wants to be turned into a tree. There are these pods that basically are filled with ashes, which feed the trees initial growth, and therefore, you become a tree. This: https://www.boredpanda.com/bios-urn-...mpaign=organic

That's a beautiful way to be buried It's like you live on, but as a tree.

[prometheus]

When i was nurse i prepared many people for the morgue. At what point and in what condition do you receive people from hospitals?

[anunitu]

I do not believe in ghosts,here in this senior building we have had 3 deaths this week,expected because of very old residents here.,but no sign of any ghost.

[Shahaku]

When i was nurse i prepared many people for the morgue. At what point and in what condition do you receive people from hospitals?

Typically we receive the deceased same day. Occasionally, if cause of death was unknown, they'll go to autopsy first, which is handled by either the county or state medical examiner. As a student, my human anatomy labs were are the state medical examiners labs, and it was definitely interesting. I saw much more decomp there than I have working for the funeral home. Typically, we're looking at decomp cases if they come from the medical examiner, or if we're picking up from a home. Hospitals are really good about getting the deceased into a fridge if there's going to be a delay.

I do not believe in ghosts,here in this senior building we have had 3 deaths this week,expected because of very old residents here.,but no sign of any ghost.

I would say it's really hit or miss and not a common occurrence. And I don't really have proof, just some anecdotal experience. Odd things that happen at the hospital I work at. I've had things move, and not just a little bit. I had a trash can sound like it was kicked and watched it move across the room untouched (I was the only person there and was across the room, and the area I work in is secured. There's a very loud beep any time someone comes in). I also saw a cart roll several feet before stopping, reversing direction and rolling backward several feet, before stopping and rolling forward again. There have been some less obvious things, like items falling off shelves that had been stable for days, which could be put down the the carts being bumped or something similar.

There are also some tech things that could be put down to glitching, but everyone thinks it's the spirit that hangs out down there. A testing machine we have will go off randomly, then shut itself off whenever someone gets close to it. There's a paper towel dispenser that's electronic that you'll hear dispensing paper as you leave the bathroom (single entry, single stall bathroom, so it's easy to know that no one else was in the there). Just weird things.

But like I said, it's all anecdotal, experiences. It's enough that I really believe that there's a ghost (or, even just some weird energy phenomenon) but there's something.




Also, I'm not so tired right now, so I thought I'd go into a little more detail on my beliefs about the afterlife for Bart. So, I definitely believe that there's an afterlife. And I do think that there is some form of rebirth. Whether that rebirth happens here on this planet or not I don't feel so confident about. I also believe that there are multiple afterlife realms just like there are multiple systems of belief. Which is strange because I also believe that most named deities are also faces of a single archetype. It's a contradiction that I haven't quiet come to terms with yet. I think part of why I believe that way is because different people would need different things from the afterlife. Some would just need a short break, some would need a lot of time to recoup, expectations would be different from one culture to another, etc.

I don't believe in the Christian heaven/hell realms, at least not as they're understood by the majority of the world. Both Mormons (which we can all doubt the validity of their faith, but shrug) and Muslims believe that there are multiple levels of heaven and hell and that they aren't so black and white (bliss or punishment). And the ancient Jews believed that there was an underworld, called Sheol, that was where the spirits of the dead went, but it wasn't a place that was good or bad, it was just a place, a shadow of the real world. So I take huge issue with the modern day Christian view of heaven and hell.

[anunitu]

my son described this building as a mausoleum in his thoughts.

- - - Updated - - -

one guy died in the summer,with no air conditioning and they found him after 5 weeks.

[Ula]

I feel the business around death really screws people. I am not sure how one decides to become involved in that.

[prometheus]

I learnt a lot in and around death. I think society should consider it more closely. Perhaps it's not for everyone though.

[Shahaku]

I feel the business around death really screws people. I am not sure how one decides to become involved in that.

For me, I first became interested in being a death doula. I had heard about it and looked into it, but the classes were expensive, especially when the pay out was unsure, some folks do it purely on a volunteer basis, and I don't have a large amount of flexible income. Then I went through a spiritual experience last summer that really influenced me, had some subsequent spiritual experiences that led to me being interested in this field and feeling called to it, and realized that the schooling was affordable compared to the average income (somewhere around 65k/year, which in the US is pretty good, but nothing to call home about). I also knew that once I got my foot in the door, got licensed and had some experience, I could open up a green cemetery sometime in the distant future. I've been following the Order of the Good Death, and am interested in doing something similar to what they are doing. I'm sure a lot of people go into the industry either because it pays well or because their family was in it.

I honestly don't think that the majority of the people I work with intend to screw you. But it is expensive, and it could possibly be cheaper. What you have to remember is that a funeral home has a lot of expenses. There is general upkeep of the building, utilities, etc. There are also usually large pieces of equipment, including vehicles and a backhoe, that have to be registered and kept up on. The land had to be kept up, and that means paying people to take care of lawn care, pruning, etc. Then they have funeral employees that they have to pay. These employees include accountants, lawyers, and graphic design artists, etc as well as funeral director/embalmers.

There are also numerous regulations in place now that weren't half a century ago that prevent funeral homes from taking advantage of people. And there's a huge emphasis on honorable funeral practices at the educational level. There are laws regulating preneed sales for instance that weren't in place in the mid 1900's. Things like requirements that money from preneed contracts be held in a trust. There is also a federal law requiring a general price list being presented any time money is discussed so that people know upfront what things will cost and what money is going where.

It is really hard though, when you have families who are grieving, to know that they are actually processing everything you're saying. It's not uncommon for someone to have completely forgotten everything that was discussed at any one point, let alone fine details. We usually have at least three or four contact points at my funeral home where we run through everything, to try and help with that. We get consent for initial care when we pick up the deceased. Then there is an arrangement conference when things like visitations and services are discussed in more detail. And there are usually at least one or two other phone calls made where details are reviewed, obits are approved, and any questions answered. And we still have people who can't keep it all straight, especially when they want a viewing/service, because they are grieving and grief can make it hard for you to focus, but things have to proceed because even with a great embalming a body will likely start showing signs of decomp at some point (sometimes that's a week, sometimes years, but we can't know until it happens) and state laws require burial after a certain time frame.

So yeah. I don't think the intent is to screw anyone over, but miscommunication or misunderstandings can happen, especially in such strained times.

[prometheus]

Do you think you have learnt anything about how we as humans experience dying from your work?

[Shahaku]

Do you think you have learnt anything about how we as humans experience dying from your work?

I have learned a bit about hospice work, but end of life care isn't a regular part of what I do. By the time a funeral director becomes involved, the death has already occurred.