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Thread: What makes a house strong

  1. #1
    Sr. Member Austin.Apollo's Avatar
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    What makes a house strong

    Lets say you live in a house with a people who are not your blood family or your marriage family. What qualities strengthen your relationships? A house divided against itself will not stand. The people are both male and female and they have no romantic or intimate interests in each other.
    whatcha listening to thread is my playlist for today music i mean

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    Re: What makes a house strong

    I think that depends on the two people involved; personally though, equal share in the work is always important to me. I'm a fairly stoic individual, so I wouldn't really need a partner to have a sense of humor; I would like them to have warrior qualities though, as well as spiritual ones. I enjoy the company of quiet individuals too; I prefer communicating telepathically as I'm sensitive to sound.

    With a different individual, or group of individuals, the desired traits and necessary compromises would also be different.

    --Sollomyn
    Last edited by Sollomyn; 20 Mar 2019 at 11:36.

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    Apprentice of Doom Shahaku's Avatar
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    Re: What makes a house strong

    Individual space is important. We don't go in the BILs room, he doesn't go in ours. Our daughter respects the fact that she's only allowed in his room when invited in.

    You also have to be flexible in modesty. My BIL almost walked in on me in the bathroom once, while I was taking a bath. It could have been seriously embarrassing, I could have turned it into a huge deal, with resentment that lasted weeks. I didn't. I understood that things like this can happen.

    Well established rules are important. Knowing what each other's expectations are before moving in together is really important. Understanding that different people have different levels of cleanliness, etc, and learning to compromise and work together to get things balanced. If you own the house, do you want a flat monthly payment? Is everyone equally invested in paying the bills? Etc.

    Good, calm communication. Yelling and fighting doesn't solve anything. If you have a problem, think of a few solutions and compromises before even bringing it up. Consider what you can change yourself and what you need the other person to change, and get good at distinguishing between needs and wants. Talk things out. Etc.

    I have a lot of experience with this. We've opened our home to friends and family on several occasions. We had my husband, I, a friend of his, the friend's wife, their kid, and the friends brother all living here for a bit at one point. Then later, the friend alone, with his son every other weekend. We also had his brother living with us at one point in the past and again now. We had our romantic partner move in with us four years ago. We have four adults and a child living in a three bedroom house right now. And we're considering starting an intentional community in this area.
    We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

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    Copper Member Ula's Avatar
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    Re: What makes a house strong

    Quote Originally Posted by Austin.Apollo View Post
    Lets say you live in a house with a people who are not your blood family or your marriage family. What qualities strengthen your relationships? A house divided against itself will not stand. The people are both male and female and they have no romantic or intimate interests in each other.
    Respect for each other, keeping things clean, sharing jobs and bills. If you decided to live together you already have some bond. I know people I wouldn't live with to save my life and I am sure I have friends who feel the same about me. LOL

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    Supporter kalynraye's Avatar
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    Re: What makes a house strong

    Communication is key! You don't have to like the same things, or even the same people. But you need to be open and upfront about preference from the beginning and you need to be willing to compromise. Make sure there is a clear understanding of bills, chores, and food.

    Don't take the last of something if it is not yours!

    I shared a 1/1 apartment that was 536 sq ft with two other adults for almost a year. It was tight at times but never once did we fight.
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: What makes a house strong

    Flexibility, the ability to compromise, the ability to take responsibility for one's actions, the ability to empathize and see things from another person's perspective, healthy communication skills, a good sense of humor, and willingness to cooperate.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
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    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: What makes a house strong

    At worst, you must have mutual respect. At best, there is friendship. With either, there will be harmony. Harmony is the best you'll get, in the long run.
    Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.

    I can't do everything, but I can do something.

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