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Thread: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

  1. #11
    ΓΝΩΘΙ ΣΑΥΤΟΝ GabrielWithoutWings's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    Two birds were sitting on a perch. One looks at the other and says, "Hey... Do you smell fish?"
    There once was a man who said though,
    It seems that I know that I know,
    What I'd like to see,
    Is the I that knows me,
    When I know that I know that I know.

  2. #12
    Member Jasmine's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    One of my favourite jokes: "An Englishman, an Irishman, a priest, a rabbi and a white horse walk into a bar. The bartender says 'What is this, some kind of joke?'"
    ~J

    "The very young do not always do as they are told."

  3. #13
    Member Unlogisch's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    How many Bacchanalian revelers does it take to change a light-bulb? One hundred: one to hold the light-bulb and ninety nine to drink until the room spins.

    How many linguists does it take to change a broken light-bulb? That depends: what do you want to change it into and what kind of bulb emits broken light?

  4. #14
    306 Maria de Luna's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    I did not know this thread was here... but thats ok, I is slow...
    http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

    But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
    ~Jim Butcher

  5. #15
    Fundamentalist Dumuzi's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    Wife asks husband...

    Wife: What do you love most about me? My fit body? Or my cute face? Or my beautiful eyes?

    Husband: Your imagination.
    Do they not, then, ponder about the Qur‘an? Had it been from someone other than Allah, they would have found in it much discrepancy. [4:82]

  6. #16
    Member Unlogisch's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    A devout Christian married couple are sitting in their living room in the morning. The husband turns to his wife and says "Dear, would you please make me a cup of coffee?
    The wife looks up from her paper and says to her husband "You should do it; you are the man here, after all."
    The husband, at this point somewhat taken aback, asks "What? Have I done something to upset you unintentionally?"
    The wife then answers "No, dear, but you've read the bible: it says Hebrews, not She-brews."

    xD

  7. #17
    Sr. Member Chris the Bold's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    what do you call fake noodles?


    An impasta!

  8. #18
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  9. #19
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: Knock, Knock! Its a Joke!

    Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper who sold his/her soul to Santa?

    A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

    The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
    Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.

    I can't do everything, but I can do something.

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