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    Feeling down again

    I really made it through the winter great this year, but around Feb I started to feel really down again. My motivation suffered and my productivity with it. In spring I thought it would get better, and it has a little but I still have a lot of days where I have to force myself to get out of bed and accomplishing anything feels like so much work. Maybe it will go away...usually it does and I have to get through it, but a couple of times in my life it hasn't and I'm a bit worried. I'm just so BORED. Like nothing is interesting, nothing makes me happy, etc.

    I don't know if I should talk to someone? I feel a bit wary....we don't really have free counselling here as far as I know, and I don't know if my public health insurance covers psychology? I think it does but i'm not positive. Also I'm wary about the language factor. I'm fluent in German but I DO NOT want to go to therapy in German. I feel like if I go I don't want to be thinking about the words I'm saying but the feelings behind them and as German is my second language and words come fairly naturally, they don't when I'm emotional and when I'm emotional I just get so muddled and I don't want to worry about that! I guess, I'd rather do something on my own.....

    I don't really know what that is though. I can't take St. Johns Wort because I'm on the pill (and for those that follow some of the "woman problem" threads, I have to be on the pill because life without those hormones are pure hell). I take fish oil, I try to eat a really healthy diet and stay active. But I don't know...something feels "off" and maybe it's just loneliness again, or maybe I'm a bit stressed, but I don't know and I don't know what to do

    Prayers would be appreciated of course, but if anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it as well.

    #2
    Re: Feeling down again

    I think you should see someone. Not because you're crazy or depressed, but because when you don't feel good, sometimes talking it out with an unbiased professional is just what the shrink ordered.

    And get a hobby. Distractions are always helpful.

    Perhaps we won't agree here but I don't think that natural remedies are going to make you feel better. I know there are all kinds of uses for fish oil, and peace of mind is important, but it takes more to feel better than some gellcaps or a tincture. Talk to someone, keep a journal when you're feeling particularly low, etc. Give those thoughts another home OUT of your head.
    No one tells the wind which way to blow.

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      #3
      Re: Feeling down again

      Haha I have a billion hobbies. I write, crochet, sew, I'm learning French, I garden, I cook/bake.....just to name a few. They do help though. It's just hard sometimes to actually do something when I'm feeling down...even getting out of bed can feel like a huge chore

      I do agree about the natural remedies...I wasn't necessarily asking for that but maybe something else I could -do.- The journal idea is good....I do keep one but I don't write in it all the time. I got a bit better at doing it a few weeks ago though and it helped a bit. It's just hard for me to go talk to a shrink because of the language thing....

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        #4
        Re: Feeling down again

        no advise really, just prayers and hugs xx
        What you see depends on what you are looking for.

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          #5
          Re: Feeling down again

          Thank you

          ---------- Post added at 11:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:15 PM ----------

          I need to sing more maybe too. It always seems to help a least a little. I was crying all day but I just sang for half an hour and I feel so much better. And when I was really depressed for two years, it's when I completely stopped for several years.

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            #6
            Re: Feeling down again

            Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post
            Haha I have a billion hobbies. I write, crochet, sew, I'm learning French, I garden, I cook/bake.....just to name a few. They do help though. It's just hard sometimes to actually do something when I'm feeling down...even getting out of bed can feel like a huge chore

            I do agree about the natural remedies...I wasn't necessarily asking for that but maybe something else I could -do.- The journal idea is good....I do keep one but I don't write in it all the time. I got a bit better at doing it a few weeks ago though and it helped a bit. It's just hard for me to go talk to a shrink because of the language thing....
            If even getting out of bed is a huge task then that sounds like depression to me, for whatever that's worth. And that's not going to just disappear. And who knows, there could be a shrink who can speak broken English. Or who speaks good English. Or can help you with your German. I think it's worth a look at any rate.

            And journaling is a habit. Try writing just something every day.
            No one tells the wind which way to blow.

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              #7
              Re: Feeling down again

              Thanks...and yeah it's not that I don't speak German (I'm fluent)...I just don't feel comfortable going to a shrink in German, because it's intensely personal and I break down and can barely communicate in English when I'm crying (last time I went to therapy, I cried a lot). I don't even want to try to do that in my second language. If I have to sort out some stuff, I want to do it in my native language if that makes sense.

              And yeah, it's not -every- day, just the past couple of days really. I guess for now I should watch it and maybe not be afraid to get help if it continues. I've had some bad issues with depression in the past, and sometimes it's hard to gage a little because I'm totally alone and I don't even have anyone to be like "hey, something seems really off with you, are you ok?" I sometimes go days without even talking to real people.

              Sometimes I even just wonder if I'm intensely lonely? When I even think about being lonely I just cry. I've made posts about it before and I've really tried to get out more and do things but I can't socialize all the time and even though I got an internship outside my home I only have one meeting a week and the rest I also do from home. People have also asked about me getting a roommate, but I live in a one bedroom apartment which I own (so moving is not really an option). It's big and it has several open rooms, but only one is actually usable as a bedroom, so it's just me. And even so, I was lonely with roommates too because it's not the same as having family or a partner or close friends. You can't talk to them about your day and you don't usually eat dinner together every day and stuff like that.
              My friend also made me cry on Facebook today because he was making fun of how I always post stuff on Facebook. It just really upset me because people must think I don't have a life, but I really do....it's just that I"m alone ALL THE TIME. All that time people spend talking to other people? I'm alone. So I post on Facebook (and on here) because it makes it a little better. A lot of my friends make fun of my Facebook habits so I think I maybe have to make how I feel about that public....though I'm a bit embarrassed because it's just so pathetic.

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                #8
                Re: Feeling down again

                I've thought about it a lot, and I think I -will- go to therapy. Even though for most of this past semester (the end of last year and the beginning of this year) I've been doing better than I have in years, I think that even if I get over this hump there are lots of things I need to work on. I'm not very confident or outgoing, and I don't really know how to muster up the confidence I need to get what I want out of life. I suffer from insane low self-esteem, and even when I'm happy I find myself putting myself down a lot. I want it to stop and I want to not only be happy but to have confidence.

                Also, I'm lonely, and I seem to feel lonely even when I manage to get out more. I was reading that loneliness is often a state of mind, and if you're having problems with it all the time you might need some outside help to deal with it.

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                  #9
                  Re: Feeling down again

                  Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post
                  Also, I'm lonely, and I seem to feel lonely even when I manage to get out more. I was reading that loneliness is often a state of mind, and if you're having problems with it all the time you might need some outside help to deal with it.
                  This I can relate to. I am surrounded by people who want my company just now and loads of them want to be my friends and such yet I still feel insanely lonely.
                  For me however I KNOW the reason, and the reason is I don't trust these people. I like them and enjoy their company but I don't trust them. I trust my boyfriend and two out of 4 of my best friends. That is it. And when I can't have those people I feel terribly lonely.
                  You need to find out WHY you can't seem to stop feeling lonely because I doubt you have lack of friends. X
                  "You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"- CS Lewis


                  https://www.facebook.com/KimberlyHagenART

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                    #10
                    Re: Feeling down again

                    Yeah I know it's because I'm not really close to anyone here like I am with my family or my friends back home, but I don't really know how to do that. I keep people at arms length and also because everyone works full time (me included, but sub work for study) there's just really less time. Also I have less money to go out and do stuff, and I don't know....it seems that everyone is a couple and when they want to hang out at home (other than special occasions) they just stay home at their place. I feel like if I just want to chill out and make a dinner and watch a movie, I'm always going to be doing that alone :/

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                      #11
                      Re: Feeling down again

                      if you move back to Canada, I could set you up with my son

                      I feel for you sweety, it must be hard to be so far from friends and family,
                      have you thought about some sort of a 'singles club' , or what about volunteering somewhere that there are other's your age, that is if you have any spare time at all.
                      What you see depends on what you are looking for.

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                        #12
                        Re: Feeling down again

                        Big Hugs Danie! Sorry I don't have time for a longer post - running off to work soon...
                        * * *
                        You can find some of my creative writing at http://libbyscribbles.com

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