The Fear of Death

[Juniper]

Re: The Fear of Death

Why do we, as a society, fear death?

Is it because it's a step into the unknown? Is it the possible "final" nature of it? Even though it is something that each and every one of us will experience, first with friends and loved ones, but ultimately with our self, it is often treated as unnatural or strange.

Is it because, compared to most of our modern "uncomfortable" experiences, we are unable to fully sanitize it? Even the death of animals is different then it was 100 years ago...just look at any grocery isle lined with little styrofoam trays covered in plastic wrap. Anything readily identifiable is often kept together in a small corner of the case, and treated with disgust by most shoppers. What do you think about needing to handle something identifiable, like heart, liver, or tongue, to cook it or have it on your plate? What do you think about the idea of needing to dispatch your own food?

Even professions dealing with death are often treated with a certain amount of fear, distrust, and disdain: Coroners, Embalmers, Morticians...what has been your reaction dealing with someone who's profession is closely tied to death?

What are your personal feelings about death? What about other factors, such as illness, accidents, disease, etc? Do you feel differently about the death of a loved one then you do about your own? When you seriously confront the idea of dying, what are your honest gut emotions?

These are some loaded questions, for sure. I cannot speak for anyone else, however I kind of teeter back and forth between being afraid of death and simply looking at it as a doorway.

I don't fear death itself. I've been around it long enough. I've lost grandparents and even friends my own age. I have not experienced death first hand and come back like some so I really do not have a unique perspective on it from that angle. However, doing some Shamanic rituals that deal with death, I have been and crossed the threshold in some perspective. Some may believe me, some may think I'm full of shit. I can't really say that I care either way because these experiences are what have shaped my belief of death and in the end, that is all that matters to me.

I find it mildly amusing that this topic would come up just a day after someone asked me a similar question in an IRC chatroom. I'm going to give the same answer here as I did there. I feel that my view on death is a little bit contradictory. I do not fear death itself. But I fear dying alone. And in the end, unless it's some freak accident like a plane crashing, I will die alone. I may die with loved ones around me. But that's what they will be. Around me. I am still undertaking the voyage out of my physical existence alone.

I treat death the same way I treat going through a doorway into a pitch black room. I keep the door open as wide as possible to allow as much light into the dark room. I will bring a light with me and fumble for a light switch. The idea of the door unexpectedly closes behind me scares the shit out of me. I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of what's in (or isn't, as it were) the dark and not having someone there to tell me it will be all right.

[Dez]

Re: The Fear of Death

I can relate to that, Juni. I think it's another great example of just to what degree each of our personal experiences shapes our opinion.

As a young teen, I helped to provide daily care for my grandmother as she declined into Alzheimer's and senility. I actually had a period of some months where my schooling was for the most part put on hold, so that I could bike to their home to cook and clean three times a day. Nothing, and I mean nothing, about death scares me so much as the idea of getting old and loosing my personality, memories, and faculties. While I would rather live long enough to see my children grown...I hope to be taken while still capable. Living that long is no gift.

[Yazichestvo]

Re: The Fear of Death

I think there is a distinction to make. I can't say that I won't be terrified if I must ever knowingly face death as it approaches. However, that is different from coming to terms with it to the point that it does not haunt you during your life.

[Juniper]

Re: The Fear of Death

I think there is a distinction to make. I can't say that I won't be terrified if I must ever knowingly face death as it approaches. However, that is different from coming to terms with it to the point that it does not haunt you during your life.

This is very true. I think until a person is actually faced with this, it's pretty much impossible to know or predict how we will treat the situations. We can try to prepare ourselves mentally for the moment. However, emotions have a way of surprising us even when we think we are ready.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: The Fear of Death

It's widely believed that we Humans are the only species on Earth cognizant of our own mortality.Theoretically, that should propel us to live life to the fullest, carpe diem, etc., since we know it's going to end. But it's tough to balance that with the feeling of "why bother, since it's all going to end?" It's one of those catch-22 deals, I guess.

[Roknrol]

Re: The Fear of Death

Don't forget: We also have the survival instinct, which gives us a desire to stay alive (despite knowing it's all going to end anyway). It's been theorised that the spiritual centers of our brain developed for exactly that reason...to prevent conflicts between our instinct and our intelligence.

[Juniper]

Re: The Fear of Death

Don't forget: We also have the survival instinct, which gives us a desire to stay alive (despite knowing it's all going to end anyway). It's been theorised that the spiritual centers of our brain developed for exactly that reason...to prevent conflicts between our instinct and our intelligence.

I can believe that.

[Monk]

Re: The Fear of Death

Personally I can't imagine anything worse than having to go on living the same life forever and ever. I have known very elderly people who feel they have outlived their time, there is nobody to talk to who remembers the things they do....

There are worse things than dying, and sometimes living is one of them.

That said, I really love life. Every morning I wake up and think 'Oh great! Another day!'
I think the think that bothers me most about dying is leaving behind those I love - or being one of those left behind. But I believe in reincarnation, so I trust that we will probably find each other again some day.

I have to agree with Tylluan response to the questions. As one who has faced some serious health problems in the last five years I have been forced to do much self reevaluation on the subject of possible death. I will admit there have been times that it has scared me. But as Tylluan has stated it was the fear of leaving the ones we care about behind.
The cancer and the operations to remove it have changed my life in ways that at times are barely tolerable for me. If they had told me everything(or maybe if I had not thought "that won't happen to me") I would not have let them operate on me and just lived out my time.
I wouldn't say that I'm ready to die just yet, but I do not fear it for myself.
When your time comes you can run but you can not hide. I hope I will be strong enough to face death grin for grin and maybe even make death shake his head and laugh when he comes for me.

A whisper.
I heard a sound.
A whisper.
Life's last breath.
A whisper.
My name called by Death.
A whisper.
A gasp answers him.
A whisper.
Death's smiling grin.

The shadows that pass me are but my own.

[Taiga Pagan]

Re: The Fear of Death

Don't forget: We also have the survival instinct, which gives us a desire to stay alive (despite knowing it's all going to end anyway). It's been theorised that the spiritual centers of our brain developed for exactly that reason...to prevent conflicts between our instinct and our intelligence.

Good possibility.

[Ravenix]

Re: The Fear of Death

Personally, I'm OK with death. What scares me is the actual process of dying. I'd hate to die slowly/painfully, and I'd hate to die 'before my time', knowing that I'm leaving my loved ones behind. But actual death? Well, there's either an afterlife like I think there is, or I won't be able to ponder much on it anyway. I became quite philosophical about death after losing my Mam and Grandad within a year of each other.

I find it hard to believe that there is nothing after death. I've had too many paranormal experiences.

[Eryx_UK]

Re: The Fear of Death

Death was never something that bothered me until my 9th Christmas. All of a sudden, and I don't know why, I was hit with the concept that I would die and that would be it. Ruined that Christmas. For years afterwards I would have troubles sleeping because the concept of that inevitable outcome would sneak up on me and give me panic attacks. Never told anyone. After all, what could they do? Then about fifteen years ago (early 20's for me) I met a young lady (just friends) and the topic came up. She said to me that you have to view death as a good friend because sooner or later you're going on a long walk with them. For whatever reason they instantly clicked, like having an epiphany or something. My anxiety attacks went and never came back. These days I believe that I will go to my gods at the end of the day. I don't believe in reincarnation or any concept of Hell.

As for society and it's fear of death I think you just have to go back to the first World War. Before that, here in England, when a family member died they were kept in the home for people to drop by an pay their respects. A family would have dinner with the dead family member nearby. That all seemed to change with the Great War when so many brave men died. Looking at it frm a historical perspective it seemed to have a mighty impact.

[yukanaoe]

Re: The Fear of Death

i was thinking about this a few weeks ago and I came to the realization, tho i do not want to die now. i do not fear death. I'm kinda excited for it. to get the answers to all of our questions! its kinda exciting! why fear it? its inevitable.

[Zeno]

Re: The Fear of Death

All living organisms, in some way shape or form, fear death. It's very natural, seeing as organisms will do everything they can to live as long as possible, so as to spread on their genes. So in my opinion, fearing death is natural. But on another hand, I realize that it is inevitable and natural, so, it isn't anything to be feared really. Besides, if Socrates didn't fear it, why should I ?

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: The Fear of Death

Besides, if Socrates didn't fear it, why should I ?

Maybe he did. We only have Plato's word for it that he didn't.

[ChainLightning]

Re: The Fear of Death

I don't actually see the art of survival as a fear of death. Procreation, survival of the fittest, longevity... none of these even remotely indicate a fear of death. Correlation is not causation, for one thing.

It's anecdotal but there's heaps of stories about animals almost seeming to welcome death. And some even appear to use death as an option to avoid suffering or enduring a slow and prolonged losing battle. That would indicate, not a fear of death but, an interest in it, of sorts.

I also find it rather suspect to base one's own fear on the fears (or lack therof) of another person.