having kids and age

[DanieMarie]

I'm curious..

when is too young to have kids, and when is too old?

[Taiga Pagan]

Re: having kids and age

If we were in the stone ages... as soon as a "woman" can.
But of course, now we have science, religion, philosophy, culture and more or less bullshit values, that now social acceptance of having children can go as late as 25.

[volcaniclastic]

Re: having kids and age

I find anything before 25 to be too young, but that said - I have plenty of friends in their early twenties with children. I suppose I'm biased, because at 24 - I think I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too young for children. Too old, I suppose would be when you biologically cannot reproduce any longer.

[yukanaoe]

Re: having kids and age

i was 22 when daniel was born and i (at my maturity level) was ready.. i've always been ready tho (we started trying when i was 19) so i'm kinda biased there. and i wann abe done having kids by the time i'm 30

HOWEVER one of my coworkers just had a baby and she's about 34. and for her that was the perfect time.

I think it all depends on the person. but my oppion is prolly 20 at earliest and 40 at latest

[Bjorn]

Re: having kids and age

I'm with V on this one. I don't want kids before I'm 30. I think that it's important to be well established in who you are as an adult before trying to raise children. A person at 30 isn't doing as much changing as they were at 20. Besides, growing up with your kids is a great way to make mistakes.

Too old? 40. Just because the thought creeps me out.

[Roknrol]

Re: having kids and age

You're too young if you're not prepared to spend the next 20+ years taking care of someone that may well not give a shit if you live or die. You're too old if you can't see yourself in 18 years at their graduation.

[thalassa]

Re: having kids and age

You need to be old enough to afford it and young enough to keep up with them. For us, that was when I was 25. I sure as HELL wasn't going to wait til 30 to start having kids, having seen my mom have my brothers in her late 30's and being too tired and too stressed to appreciate them.

[Gardenia]

Re: having kids and age

You need to be old enough to afford it and young enough to keep up with them.

Agree.. If I had to give numbers, I'd say - generally speaking - that under 18 is too young, and over 50 too old. From person to person that "right" time is going to vary, of course. I know quite a few people who had children in their 20s and thought it was the best time, and some who think they should have waited... a few in the 30s, who think it was the best time and some wished they'd been younger. My Mom's on both ends, she had me at 16, too young, and her last child at 33, wished she was younger!

[Medusa]

Re: having kids and age

I'm with V on this one. I don't want kids before I'm 30. I think that it's important to be well established in who you are as an adult before trying to raise children. A person at 30 isn't doing as much changing as they were at 20. Besides, growing up with your kids is a great way to make mistakes.

Too old? 40. Just because the thought creeps me out.

Being 40 this October I guess I should just go to creepsville usa, huh?

[DanieMarie]

Re: having kids and age

I couldn't see myself as a mom right now, and I'm 27. I think a lot of that is where I'm at in life though....mainly, that I am not in a really solid, long-term relationship yet. I know some people do it alone but I think that's a lot of work and I couldn't really do it I think. Especially since I'm still sorting out my career. If I had a partner I think I could do it, but not on my own.

There's this girl on this other forum I post at who started trying at 17. She'd graduated early, but still that's too young I think. I told her so as well. She got really upset because she had a bit of an income, but she wasn't really -stable- either. I think you're not old enough at that point to really make good decisions, and I really don't think she understood the cost of having a child. She just thought, oh I have some money and I really want a baby, so I'll do it. Sometimes people get pregnant young and they make it work, and they don't want to give it up, but to TRY to do it that young? Really?

---------- Post added at 09:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:47 AM ----------

Being 40 this October I guess I should just go to creepsville usa, huh?

My grandma had my dad at 38 and my aunt at 40. I sort of feel like as long as you've got working ovaries, you're good to go. People say a lot about "keeping up" but our lifespans are getting longer and I don't think 40 now is the same as 40 in our parents generation.

[Medusa]

Re: having kids and age

My mother had me at 36. Technically she made it till I was an adult. Of course she's coocoo but that's another story.

[yukanaoe]

Re: having kids and age

my parents had me when they were in there 30's and i hated it. (love my parents but) they NEVER went to a field trip or anything. they couldny keep up..... just sayin

[Ravenix]

Re: having kids and age

Too old? 40. Just because the thought creeps me out.

My Mam was 43 when she had me :3 Not her own choice, she would have loved to have had children sooner but it took ages for her and my Dad to concieve. However, I almost died when I was born as the placenta didn't form properly, so I almost starved to death and had to be born via emergency Caesarean a few weeks early. This could have been to do with her age but was probably also down to her chain-smoking (the morning after the Caesarean she hobbled to the smoking room to have a tab).
I was 2 pounds 11 ounces (the weight of a bag of sugar). Also my Mam couldn't produce milk and I had to have formula pretty much from birth (which may explain why I have such a crappy immune system)- that was definitely her age.
My Dad is seven years younger than my Mam was. He's 55 and I'm 20, whereas my Mam would be 62 this year, if were she here today. And I don't think that would have been very fun if I'm honest, especially seeing as most of my mate's parents are just approaching 50.

On the other hand, there were 30 girls (at least) just from my school year who had kids before they were 18 (most of them got pregnant aged 15/16). Now that's far too young for me- you shouldn't be having kids when you haven't grown up yourself! Also the vast majority of them haven't got any qualifications beyond GCSEs (if they even got those) and are stuck being housewives to a revolving door of boyfriends for the rest of their lives (in many cases the father just doesn't want to know/can't deal with the responsibility- not that the mothers are much better!). I only know of one girl from my year who turned out to be a responsible, caring mother, and the father is a tool.

So all in all, I think the age I'd like to have kids is about 25, maybe 30 at the latest. Then I should be settled down but still be young enough to remember that I was young once :P

[Dufonce]

Re: having kids and age

another thing to think about is after the kids move out, how long until you retire? how long do you have to prepare? and remember just cause they move out doesn't mean they stop costing you money. figure them to be done with college with enough time for you to get ready to retire.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: having kids and age

Well, I wouldn't call the shots for other people, but I can say that my wife and I didn't have kids until we were in our late 20's & early 30's.

This worked out OK for us - we had more money, we had stable lives, we were calmer adults, and we were (and still are) still plenty active enough to go on filed trips and such. None of this would have been true much earlier in our lives - we'd still have done OK, but it wouldn't have been as easy...