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    #1

    help for shutting up a coworker

    i need help. trying to figure out how to 'nicely' tell my coworker to back off.

    my coworker/asistant manager keeps say shit to try and get me to convert back to christianity. and it woulnd really bother me if it wasnt an almost daily occurance now. at first i just laughed in her face but now i jsut ignore her but its still frustrating.I like her as a person she's a nice person and I know she doesnt mean anythign spiteful by it she's trying to be nice in her own little way.

    how can i tell her to back off without hurting her feelings?

    and i do noiy want to get her in trouble so going to the manager or above is out of the question. for now at least
    "Close your eyes, take 20 paces farther than you thought nessesary and just when you think you've lost your way completely.. you'll be there. open your eyes" Alice Hoffman
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    #2
    Re: help for shutting up a coworker

    I'd go for the 'professionalism' angle. Tell her you appreciate the message, but religion has no place in the workplace, especially with her being an assistant manager.

    While you might not want to get her into trouble, if she keeps it up, it's going to cross the line from friendship into harassment, so it's better to take a slightly firmer tone than you may feel is necessary.
    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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      #3
      Re: help for shutting up a coworker

      Matthew 10:14...

      ...just tell her to shake the dust off her feet and bother someone else
      Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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        #4
        Re: help for shutting up a coworker

        Say, "Nancy, this really isn't the appropriate place for a religious conversation. Let's get back to work.", then walk away.
        Great Grandmother's Kitchen

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          #5
          Re: help for shutting up a coworker

          I advocate the "Nod and Smile" technique.

          When she says something to you, just nod and smile. If you want to spice it up a bit, you can make meaningless mewing noises ("Uh huh," "I see," "Is that so?" "Really?"), but it isn't necessary.

          The idea here is that, as long as you offer any resistance, you are encouraging her to continue. Resist, disagree, debate - you become the enabler. But with the magic of "Nod and Smile" technology, whatever she says or does just flows over you, without actually affecting you, and without giving the other person a hook to latch on to.

          Pretty much everybody will eventually get tired of shooting if they don't have a target to shoot at - this easy technique allows you to remove yourself from targethood.
          Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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            #6
            Re: help for shutting up a coworker

            Originally posted by perzephone View Post
            I'd go for the 'professionalism' angle. Tell her you appreciate the message, but religion has no place in the workplace, especially with her being an assistant manager.

            While you might not want to get her into trouble, if she keeps it up, it's going to cross the line from friendship into harassment, so it's better to take a slightly firmer tone than you may feel is necessary.
            Yeah totally agree.

            If that doesn't work, I'd have a talk about just having different beliefs and leaving it at that. It worked with my adamantly atheist friends (and in case anyone is wondering, YES atheists can be fanatical!)

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              #7
              Re: help for shutting up a coworker

              im all for a good american lawsuit. im realitivly certain that is harrasment
              Circe

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                #8
                Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                Originally posted by DeseretRose View Post
                Say, "Nancy, this really isn't the appropriate place for a religious conversation. Let's get back to work.", then walk away.
                This. It's clear, simple, and right to the point - without coming off as rude. If she still doesn't listen, tell her this again, and that you'll have to speak with someone higher up if she doesn't stop - and follow through if she doesn't stop still.
                Hearth and Hedge

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                  #9
                  Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                  I'd tell her to knock it off or you will hex her. Then hiss at her and make the sign of the devil with your fingers.
                  Then mutter away something about the dark lord and sacrifice.
                  Satan is my spirit animal

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                    #10
                    Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                    HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA yeah lol awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
                    "Close your eyes, take 20 paces farther than you thought nessesary and just when you think you've lost your way completely.. you'll be there. open your eyes" Alice Hoffman

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                      #11
                      Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                      Originally posted by yukanaoe View Post
                      i need help. trying to figure out how to 'nicely' tell my coworker to back off.

                      my coworker/asistant manager keeps say shit to try and get me to convert back to christianity. and it woulnd really bother me if it wasnt an almost daily occurance now. at first i just laughed in her face but now i jsut ignore her but its still frustrating.I like her as a person she's a nice person and I know she doesnt mean anythign spiteful by it she's trying to be nice in her own little way.

                      how can i tell her to back off without hurting her feelings?

                      and i do noiy want to get her in trouble so going to the manager or above is out of the question. for now at least
                      Ack, working in an office can be a real challenge when it comes to issues like this. I dealt with something similar a few months ago, in regards to a co-worker talking to me about something I had no interest in listening to. She has this weird issue with another employee in the office and for a while was frequently complaining about this person to me. I finally told her (gently, but firmly) that I'm there to work and don't want to hear about it anymore. She still slips and makes comments occasionally, but directly confronting her about using our work time as an opportunity to gossip did help. Maybe you can find that effective mix of polite and straightforward to shut her down? That would frustrate me too!
                      "Gardens are not made by singing "Oh, how beautiful," and sitting in the shade." - Rudyard Kipling

                      Mathbatu: A Canaanite Polytheist's Blog
                      Sparrow Wings: A Personal Blog

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                        #12
                        Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                        Is she considering your feelings when she rambles on about her religion to you?
                        In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time. ~~ Edward P. Tryon

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                          #13
                          Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                          I have to echo the sentiment of you need to express this isn't appropriate work discussion. Yes, it can fall under harassment. If it keeps up you will have to possibly swallow your hesitancy and report her. There is a point where it's about the work. I'm sure your bosses are also understanding of her personality and may be able to handle it accordingly.
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                            #14
                            Re: help for shutting up a coworker

                            Is it appropriate for the workplace? Probably not, but is it commonplace? Was your conversion a big deal? (on your part or on theirs?) If your religion has been up for public debate and discussion before now, you can't cry foul just because it's become annoying.

                            If, on the other hand, you've been unwillingly involved in the discussions/commentary, then you have every right (and I would encourage you) to go to Human Resources and file a legitimate complaint. I was sexually harassed at work and did nothing, and have regretted that decision. I would include religious harassment to fit into the same category.

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