Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

[Pallas]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

When you shave or wax, you usually can choose to grow the hair back if you want. Not too many people choose stuff like laser hair removal, and even when they do, it's a choice they make for themselves. I don't know of anyone who decides "I'm going to give my daughter laser hair removal as a baby".

Thanks to the magic of science and disgruntled circumcised men, you can now grow that foreskin back that was taken from you at birth. So not all hope is lost for those men anymore.

I'd also like to say outright banning it does infringe on religious rights. It's a requirement in Jewish beliefs and a cultural practice in USA. If my country tried banning it, I'd throw out the N word as well. I think a lot of things people do to their kids is wrong, but I don't want them banned.

[Aeran]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

For what it's worth, I'm glad my parents didn't do it to me. The purported health benefits seem like kind of a non-factor, imo if the only way you can keep your junk clean is to have part of it chopped off, your parents didn't do a good job teaching you about hygiene. And I think I've watched enough porn to be able to say that I think uncut wins out on aesthetics. I know the jury is out on whether it effects nerves and pleasure, but why take the risk? There just don't seem to be any real benefits.

All that aside though, I'm personally just glad my parents didn't make that kind of choice about my body/health/sex life for me when I was too young to decide. If I grew up and desperately loathed my foreskin, I could always have the operation done later on, but once it's done as a baby, you can't reverse it (at least I'm pretty sure none of those methods they talk about online work).

[thalassa]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I guess. I was just trying to compare foreskin to something which is natural, and I don't understand what the big deal is about it.

In that vein though, lots of things aren't "natural"--earrings, tattoos, disks thru lips, sticks in noses, sharpening teeth, the long neck ring thing, etc. Aztecs (or maybe MAyans, I always forget) used to squoosh their babies heads between boards to make long flat foreheads. People have been altering one another since birth as part of cultural practices.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I think it's getting less and less acceptable in the developed world to physically alter your child. If you want a tattoo, or piercings, or any other sort of body mod, fine...but that should be a choice, not something that is done for you. (and yes, I think I've said this before in this thread, but I have a big problem with people piercing their babies, and not just because of the whole choice issue. I used to work at a place that did ear piercing and believe me when I tell you that you should never do it to your baby or child who isn't old enough to decide, and I hated every single person that asked me to do it).

[Pallas]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

For what it's worth, I'm glad my parents didn't do it to me. The purported health benefits seem like kind of a non-factor, imo if the only way you can keep your junk clean is to have part of it chopped off, your parents didn't do a good job teaching you about hygiene. And I think I've watched enough porn to be able to say that I think uncut wins out on aesthetics. I know the jury is out on whether it effects nerves and pleasure, but why take the risk? There just don't seem to be any real benefits.

All that aside though, I'm personally just glad my parents didn't make that kind of choice about my body/health/sex life for me when I was too young to decide. If I grew up and desperately loathed my foreskin, I could always have the operation done later on, but once it's done as a baby, you can't reverse it (at least I'm pretty sure none of those methods they talk about online work).

Almost all people that have the procedure have it done as a baby, it can be reversed. And yes, it does work. Maybe there are some online gimmicks that are advertised but there is an actual way to do it. If you want to watch about it, I believe I first saw it on something called Strange Sex, it was about circumcised men and one segment had the scientist that developed the method to reverse it. (He was an actual customer and very happy about it, it seemed. )

As for piercings, mine were pierced as an infant. When I turned into a preteen I developed an allergic reaction lots of jewelry and couldn't wear jewelry much anymore. To this day I don't wear any but I can't say I've ever been upset my mom did it. I'm glad I didn't recall the pain. :P

[DanieMarie]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

The reason why I'm not for doing it to babies is that it's just really, really hard to pierce babies. It's like trying to pierce a pet...there's always a chance they're going to move. And the freak-out is really hard-core. The store I worked at gave us the option of having our own store policy to choose our own piercing policy with babies shortly after I started working there, and I'm glad we did that. If you do it, just remember, IT IS STRESSFUL AS HELL FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DO IT. They don't like it. They don't want to pierce your baby. Just do EVERYONE a favour and wait until your child can say "I want my ears pierced." If a kid couldn't do that, we didn't do it, and if they changed their mind, we didn't force them. That was our store policy. We got yelled at a LOT for it by customers, but we stuck to our guns and I was happy with that.
Also, if you pierce your baby, there's a good chance it could come out crooked later. The ears aren't near done growing at that point, and what may be totally centered then may not be later on. Just sayin'. And no, I didn't make that up...it was in our training.
I don't really remember the pain of getting my ears pierced either. I was 10. I remember it hurt and it was a big deal at the time, but I don't remember the actual pain (it was pretty fast, like ripping off a band-aid). It was also like a right of passage. I REALLY wanted my ears pierced, and that was the age I was allowed to do it at. All my friends were also getting their ears pierced at the same time. We all got earrings for our 10th birthdays. It was kind of special.

Plus, earrings look stupid on babies. I'm really sorry for this if you're someone who has pierced your baby, but I have to admit, I kind of roll my eyes when I see it. Sort of like giant headbands on babies.

[Pallas]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

The reason why I'm not for doing it to babies is that it's just really, really hard to pierce babies. It's like trying to pierce a pet...there's always a chance they're going to move. And the freak-out is really hard-core. The store I worked at gave us the option of having our own store policy to choose our own piercing policy with babies shortly after I started working there, and I'm glad we did that. If you do it, just remember, IT IS STRESSFUL AS HELL FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DO IT. They don't like it. They don't want to pierce your baby. Just do EVERYONE a favour and wait until your child can say "I want my ears pierced." If a kid couldn't do that, we didn't do it, and if they changed their mind, we didn't force them. That was our store policy. We got yelled at a LOT for it by customers, but we stuck to our guns and I was happy with that.
Also, if you pierce your baby, there's a good chance it could come out crooked later. The ears aren't near done growing at that point, and what may be totally centered then may not be later on. Just sayin'. And no, I didn't make that up...it was in our training.
I don't really remember the pain of getting my ears pierced either. I was 10. I remember it hurt and it was a big deal at the time, but I don't remember the actual pain (it was pretty fast, like ripping off a band-aid). It was also like a right of passage. I REALLY wanted my ears pierced, and that was the age I was allowed to do it at. All my friends were also getting their ears pierced at the same time. We all got earrings for our 10th birthdays. It was kind of special.

Plus, earrings look stupid on babies. I'm really sorry for this if you're someone who has pierced your baby, but I have to admit, I kind of roll my eyes when I see it. Sort of like giant headbands on babies.

You bring up great points with the crooked ears and also it being a right of passage. I do recall friends who had their ears pierced later in life really appreciated it much more. With someone like me that always had them pierced, it means nothing. I'm gonna go check my ears now and see if the holes are uneven..... lol Piercing a baby is something I never thought about. But reading this has made me put some thought in it.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

You bring up great points with the crooked ears and also it being a right of passage. I do recall friends who had their ears pierced later in life really appreciated it much more. With someone like me that always had them pierced, it means nothing. I'm gonna go check my ears now and see if the holes are uneven..... lol Piercing a baby is something I never thought about. But reading this has made me put some thought in it.

Haha I'm glad I got you to think.

It doesn't -always- turn out crooked later so you might be in luck. It's just something that can easily happen, because your ears are still growing at that point and what's centered then might not be later on. It's not like your body sees the earring in the center of your earlobe and goes "ok I'm going to grow around this".

[Maria de Luna]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

Haha I'm glad I got you to think.

It doesn't -always- turn out crooked later so you might be in luck. It's just something that can easily happen, because your ears are still growing at that point and what's centered then might not be later on. It's not like your body sees the earring in the center of your earlobe and goes "ok I'm going to grow around this".

This is interresting, because I know alot of people in the area that do it, apparently it is a cultural thing among the Latina and African American populations, at least where I live. I remember when it was done to me, in bits and pieces, I remember crying, but I don't remember if it really hurt all that much, or if I was crying because I was expected to be... I was old enough to ask for earrings though.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I remember it stinging, but it wasn't traumatically painful or anything.

I let mine grow over in my early teens because I was having a lot of difficulty with metal allergies (even gold seemed to bother me), and I admit I'm a bit freaked out to do it again. It's not because of my first experience though. I have a big phobia of needles and anything sticking in my skin (to be honest, that's probably also why I let them grow over), and even doing it to other people on a regular basis never helped me get over that.

[Maria de Luna]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I remember it stinging, but it wasn't traumatically painful or anything.

I let mine grow over in my early teens because I was having a lot of difficulty with metal allergies (even gold seemed to bother me), and I admit I'm a bit freaked out to do it again. It's not because of my first experience though. I have a big phobia of needles and anything sticking in my skin (to be honest, that's probably also why I let them grow over), and even doing it to other people on a regular basis never helped me get over that.

The first ones I had are the only ones that have never grown over completely, I have had my ears pierced and re pierced so many times, and it never sticks. But the apparatus I was pierced with as a child was so much scarier than it is now... so much scarier...

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 16. A Dr. did them, and they were infected for months (still don't know why). In college I gave myself 2nd & 3rd ear-piercings above the first ones. The 3rd one up on the right had to be allowed to close due to a cyst but I still have the other 5 total. The ones I did myself, with a sewing needle, rubbing alcohol, ice, and vast amounts of beer, never got infected at all. Go figure!

[DanieMarie]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

Jeez you're brave!

[Caelia]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 16. A Dr. did them, and they were infected for months (still don't know why). In college I gave myself 2nd & 3rd ear-piercings above the first ones. The 3rd one up on the right had to be allowed to close due to a cyst but I still have the other 5 total. The ones I did myself, with a sewing needle, rubbing alcohol, ice, and vast amounts of beer, never got infected at all. Go figure!

I remember chicks doing this in the middle of gym class in high school. I guess some things never change...

I had mine pierced back when the piercing guns still looked like glocks. It was something I really wanted and my mother wanted me to wait until I was a bit older to make that decision. I was 6 when that happened. Piercing seems to be more humane now.

[Pallas]

Re: Parenting Debate: To Snip or no?

I remember it stinging, but it wasn't traumatically painful or anything.

I let mine grow over in my early teens because I was having a lot of difficulty with metal allergies (even gold seemed to bother me), and I admit I'm a bit freaked out to do it again. It's not because of my first experience though. I have a big phobia of needles and anything sticking in my skin (to be honest, that's probably also why I let them grow over), and even doing it to other people on a regular basis never helped me get over that.

I also started developing allergies to all jewelry. I'm confirmed to be allergic to anything nickle or copper and even gold and silver irritate to put in my ears. Mine have never grown in though, odd enough.

Piercing really doesn't hurt that much. In my rebellious days my mom wouldn't let me pierce my lip so I did it myself. It's just scary hearing your skin make a popping sound! When i have a daughter I do think I'm gonna wait until she's old enough now.