Coming out of the Broom Closet

[Maria de Luna]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I have been me for a while, and I only ever tried to tell the people around me once that I was pagan. They thought I was refering to the motorcycle gang... and proceeded to presume that I was a drug dealer too... I got a bunch of crap for the wrong bunch of crap.... So I don't mention it, if it comes up in conversation, I make the conversation go away, If someone is really pushy, I mention that I was raised protestant and am very comfortable with who I am now, not a lie, but it does gloss over a few of the finer points of what I am now... My husband knows, and my mother did open many of the packages I used to order from amazon. Other than that I am me and it has absolutely no bearing on anyone else, and is pretty much none of their business. I do not hide any of my things or books in my own home, so some of my friends know to some extent, but most of them don't care, only one of them has been curious, and I found out another had similar interests because she noticed some of my books and mentioned something.
I feel like there is a saying that describes how I feel here... it is minorly vulgar so not for innocent readers.

Religion is like a penis. It is great that you have one, but it is not OK to waive it around in public, and it is certainly unnacceptable to stuff it down my throat.

[DeadJellyfish]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Actually the funny thing about that was that I had already formed my beliefs pretty damn solidly when I found out about her. Id been getting berrated by my grandma about why id turned from being raised christian to being pagan and when I was done she'd got this bewildered look on her face and said "that's the exact same thing your mother told me when she said she was pagan"...absolutely floored me for the longest time.

And as for the danger to being so open I just moved away from home, got away from the drama of a small town. Once I was gone I only got the occational "you're going to burn, repent or die" crap and whatnot. And anyone who tries anything worse, im older now and can better handle myself *shrugs*

Wow, that is so coincidental. Too bad your grandmother reacted that way though.

That's good that you can stand up for yourself. Right now I feel too sensitive to deal with religious conflict in person. I can feel myself getting stronger and braver. But I admire you. Also, you've got the law on your side! Thank goodness we don't live in the witch killing days.

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And besides all that, I live that part of Copenhagen with lots immigrants from around the world, so I easely come across with both Catholics, Buddhists Muslims and ... you know.. those "big" religions, when walking on the streets

I bet it's wonderful to live in such a diverse area! Do you ever converse with people about their different beliefs?

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I have been me for a while, and I only ever tried to tell the people around me once that I was pagan. They thought I was refering to the motorcycle gang... and proceeded to presume that I was a drug dealer too... I got a bunch of crap for the wrong bunch of crap.... So I don't mention it, if it comes up in conversation, I make the conversation go away, If someone is really pushy, I mention that I was raised protestant and am very comfortable with who I am now, not a lie, but it does gloss over a few of the finer points of what I am now... My husband knows, and my mother did open many of the packages I used to order from amazon. Other than that I am me and it has absolutely no bearing on anyone else, and is pretty much none of their business. I do not hide any of my things or books in my own home, so some of my friends know to some extent, but most of them don't care, only one of them has been curious, and I found out another had similar interests because she noticed some of my books and mentioned something.
I feel like there is a saying that describes how I feel here... it is minorly vulgar so not for innocent readers.

Religion is like a penis. It is great that you have one, but it is not OK to waive it around in public, and it is certainly unnacceptable to stuff it down my throat.

People thought you were a drug dealer?? How silly!!

That's what I try to do though if someone asks. I try to gloss it over or avoid the subject without really lying. And if I can't avoid it, I just tell them the truth. But this just happened about an hour ago:

Friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm on a forum. (paganforum)
Friend: What kind of forum?
Me: A religious forum.
Friend: Thinking about converting, eh? (they are Christian)
Me: *laughs awkwardly* Well, it's a forum where people with different beliefs get together and share ideas.

It was left at that and I was able to avoid admitting I'm a Pagan lol

Oh wow, I love that penis analogy hahaha. I think I've heard that once before.

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Oddly enough, even though my family are "god fearing, spiritual singing, bible quoting, highly religious" type Christians, when I told them that I had quit being a Christian Minister they were concerned but let me be.When I announced a year later that I would be Pagan it went over very well. A few in my family knew that it didn't mean that I worshiped evil. Others did assume that and gasped, but when I explained they listen and relaxed. Pretty much my family took it as if I had said I was switching to Judaism, in the end. They gave a shrug and made a few comments that they'll miss me at the church. But that was it. The most annoyance I get is when my family is trying overly hard to remember the Pagan holidays in attempt to "speak my language" and weirdly say, "Happy Yule" putting a weird emphasis on the word as if they're saying "Happy Sock Day! We don't exactly get it, but since you love socks and choose to celebrate it, we'll cheer with you!" It's funny, annoying, but nice at the same time. It makes me laugh!
So, I was VERY lucky, I think.
Though, I was not so lucky in other "coming out"s, and that's another story.

[DashREM]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I told my girlfriend I was going to take up Paganism to worship the Goddess of Chaos, Strife, and Rivalry. She said, "that makes sense." She began wondering which Pagan God or Goddess was right for her. That went pretty darn good. Telling our mothers most likely wont go so well. My mother is Christian who will may likely go into a panic for our salvation. Her mother is a bipolar schizophrenic Catholic. I anticipate chaos. :bounce:

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I told my girlfriend I was going to take up Paganism to worship the Goddess of Chaos, Strife, and Rivalry. She said, "that makes sense." She began wondering which Pagan God or Goddess was right for her. That went pretty darn good. Telling our mothers most likely wont go so well. My mother is Christian who will may likely go into a panic for our salvation. Her mother is a bipolar schizophrenic Catholic. I anticipate chaos. :bounce:

Wow! I do wish you luck, if you two do decide to step out of the broom closet to your mother. It sounds like it would be a lot tougher to explain with schizophrenia mixed into it.

My grandmother was bipolar and highly religious, yet it went over well with her when I told her I was now Pagan. She gave a shrug and only asked, "when are the holidays, so I can send cards on those days too". I guess, my mom was the one to break them in with religious tolerance, since she was the first to go into a different religion... Jehovah Witness. They tolerated that and a decade later, she went back to the family's Methodist Christian roots and I went Pagan. lol. So, maybe they thought, "here we go again... sigh." But, they were pleased that my religion didn't insist that I refrain from all other holidays whatsoever. I still enjoy Christmas.

[DeadJellyfish]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Oddly enough, even though my family are "god fearing, spiritual singing, bible quoting, highly religious" type Christians, when I told them that I had quit being a Christian Minister they were concerned but let me be.When I announced a year later that I would be Pagan it went over very well. A few in my family knew that it didn't mean that I worshiped evil. Others did assume that and gasped, but when I explained they listen and relaxed. Pretty much my family took it as if I had said I was switching to Judaism, in the end. They gave a shrug and made a few comments that they'll miss me at the church. But that was it. The most annoyance I get is when my family is trying overly hard to remember the Pagan holidays in attempt to "speak my language" and weirdly say, "Happy Yule" putting a weird emphasis on the word as if they're saying "Happy Sock Day! We don't exactly get it, but since you love socks and choose to celebrate it, we'll cheer with you!" It's funny, annoying, but nice at the same time. It makes me laugh!
So, I was VERY lucky, I think.
Though, I was not so lucky in other "coming out"s, and that's another story.

Haha, man, that does sound awkward and a tad bit annoying. But overall it seems like a pleasant experience. I'm glad your family is so accepting

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I told my girlfriend I was going to take up Paganism to worship the Goddess of Chaos, Strife, and Rivalry. She said, "that makes sense." She began wondering which Pagan God or Goddess was right for her. That went pretty darn good. Telling our mothers most likely wont go so well. My mother is Christian who will may likely go into a panic for our salvation. Her mother is a bipolar schizophrenic Catholic. I anticipate chaos. :bounce:

I wish you the best of luck, but it's good to know that your girlfriend has your back

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Haha, man, that does sound awkward and a tad bit annoying. But overall it seems like a pleasant experience. I'm glad your family is so accepting

Yep, overall it was a success for me to come out of the broom closet. I'm happy with it. ^_^

[DanieMarie]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I came out to my boyfriend, and I was a bit nervous about it, because when I first met him it seemed like he was atheist and thought religion was ridiculous, but now i know him better and know he doesn't really think that. While he's atheist, he does have a bit of a spiritual side and he's even pagan-sympathetic...yay!

[ShadowOfTheMoon]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I haven't come out to anyone as of yet...I'm not in a relationship and I hardly ever see my family (moved 2 hours away from them) so right now I don't think there's any need to tell them. If the topic gets discussed around a dinner table at some point I won't be ashamed to tell them about my beliefs, but it's not something I feel any need to bring up at the moment. They'll find out eventually anyway, why rush things x)

[DeadJellyfish]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I came out to my boyfriend, and I was a bit nervous about it, because when I first met him it seemed like he was atheist and thought religion was ridiculous, but now i know him better and know he doesn't really think that. While he's atheist, he does have a bit of a spiritual side and he's even pagan-sympathetic...yay!

That's cool! A lot of atheists give off that vibe that religion and spirituality is ridiculous. But it's nice that your boyfriend is more sympathetic c:

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I haven't come out to anyone as of yet...I'm not in a relationship and I hardly ever see my family (moved 2 hours away from them) so right now I don't think there's any need to tell them. If the topic gets discussed around a dinner table at some point I won't be ashamed to tell them about my beliefs, but it's not something I feel any need to bring up at the moment. They'll find out eventually anyway, why rush things x)

That's good, if you don't need to then why be the one to bring it up?

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I haven't come out to anyone as of yet...I'm not in a relationship and I hardly ever see my family (moved 2 hours away from them) so right now I don't think there's any need to tell them. If the topic gets discussed around a dinner table at some point I won't be ashamed to tell them about my beliefs, but it's not something I feel any need to bring up at the moment. They'll find out eventually anyway, why rush things x)

Yes, you shouldn't bring it up, if you don't have to. ^_^
I had to come out because my whole community, family, and neighbors are Christian. And my neighbors and family knew about my past Ordination in the church... so when I dropped my job as Minister and stop coming to a local church, I was asked constantly, "Why haven't I seen you in church? Did you change to a new one?" And the usual greet from new strangers I meet in my city is, "What church do you go to?" So, I tell the truth or change the subject. But if no one ask, I don't care to share. To me, religion is religion, just a tiny part of the picture that makes up a whole being. So, it's not important for others to know my religion or I know of theirs.

[Lenore]

Re: Coming out about your religion

I recently came out of the "broom closet" to my parents, after 6 years of practicing. They are Christians, and are pretty serious about their religious practices. Luckily, my mom had apparently been wondering for a while if something was going on and thus was not completely caught off guard. My sister was already aware, and she helped back me up in explaining that this wasn't simply a new phase-thing. Finally I was able to set up my altar in my room and be much more open about all of it.

Unfortunately, my exceptionally conservative Christian grandparents are visiting the week after Christmas, and I have not figured out how I'm going to handle that. I would like to not have to hide a part of myself (including my altar in my room), but I don't quite know how to explain to my 70-year-old grandparents that I simply don't follow their beliefs without it causing a family problem and alot of stress. Any advice?

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Lenore, I'd love to give you some advice... if I had any. I'm sorry, my coming out of the broom closet was so much easier with my grandparents, because my mother beat down that path before me with another religion. So with me, there was a sigh of, "here we go again... what is it this time?" Though, my grandparents liked my chosen path because I wasn't banned from celebrating the family holidays with them, unlike my mother's chosen religion in the past. So, all was well. ^_^
I guess, the only thing you can do is to be calm, honest, and open about your new path. And hope for the best. I do hope it works out for you too! And I'm glad that your sister and parents are accepting!

[Lenore]

Re: Coming out about your religion

Thank you, RiverSong. Indeed, hopefully it all works out. And I'm glad to hear that your family is much more accepting. Acceptance and agreeing to disagree make everyone's lives so much easier.

[RiverSong]

Re: Coming out about your religion

No problem! I just wish I could suggest more than just, "go for it and hope for the best." :-/
My family is very open about religion, it's true... but everything else, not so much. When I came out of the closet about my sexuality, that was not so easy and a disaster. But, I went for it and I found that love in family often rights itself after a while. My mum is not accepting of my sexual orientation whatsoever, but she found a way to agree to disagree, after a few years of realizing that it's not going to go away. So, I do understand when people are in families that's not accepting of their religion. However, if your grandparents can't deal, take comfort that your sister and parents do. ^_^