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    #1

    How has your path changed?

    I'm almost positive we had this as a discussion once, but I couldn't find it...and we have all sorts of newer people these days, so...

    How has your path changed over the years? Are you okay with the changes, or does it trouble you? Do you think you've changed for better, or for worse?

    I ask because I can remember a time when I was a spell casting, ritual making, perfectly good little pagan. I've never had gods, but I've tried to, and slowly over the years, things have become less and less, until now, when I don't feel I can even properly call myself pagan anymore. I used to celebrate the sabbats, and play with my tarot cards, and things have changed. I know over the years for me, there's been a lot of Eastern (specifically Zen) influence, and that's mellowed me out a bit, but in the grande scheme of things, I'm very cynical, and apathetic these days in regards to religion, and I'm not neccessarily happy being a full-blown atheist. I still celebrate the seasons, and I'm very much into herbs and herbal practices. But other than that, I haven't got a lot left in the spirituality department, and I catch myself wondering sometimes where it went to.

    How about you?


    Mostly art.
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    #2
    Re: How has your path changed?

    My old delusions have been infected by 40K to the point where I can provide the Exterminatus speech on request....

    Other than that, a slightly more narrow focus.
    life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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      #3
      Re: How has your path changed?

      I've noticed over the years that I am not so hung up on ritual, and not just doing ritual, but in any of it being ritualized. I realize I feel as spiritually connected sitting outside on a nice spring day as I do in full blown ritual garb, having taken a ritual bath, and having prepared the perfect cakes and ale. In my case it has to do with age, energy level, demands for my time and attention. I've had to learn to have more connection with less trappings. And honestly, I'm pretty satisfied with it.

      Comment

        #4
        Re: How has your path changed?

        I grew up in a pentacostal church. I was the good little bible thumping christian kid. But nothing really set well with me. I felt like something was missing, and to much had holes and made no sense. I knew I was gifted in many different ways (I was empathic, I communicated with spirits, etc...) So I did researched and talked to friends who had various pagan and wiccan paths I was drawn to how it evolves with the person. No two pagans are alike, and its a very personal walk of faith. That is what i liked. I dont think believes are so much meant to be set in stone. We continue to evolve until the day we die. And then we accend to where ever it is we go. So I still hold some of older christian believes but my believes grow and evolve with time.

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          #5
          Re: How has your path changed?

          I was always interested in different faiths, studying catholocism and growing up episcopalian, wiccan/pagan, shamanism, being a true outdoorsman and native plant herbolist as well as studying about
          spirit guides, chakras, ayurveda until one day I somehow realized it was all connected. I hate to say its all the same but it seems like in a meditation I was having it all was the same. So I stopped
          caring about the individual paths and decided to take a path that fit with my faith and incorperated the natural world.

          I was praying for years to be pagan and to follow a wiccan path, reading about it, until i finally realized that i was living an extroidinary existance as a pagan. It was just different than the people who were
          writing books about it.

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            #6
            Re: How has your path changed?

            It's an ongoing struggle. You just have to keep trying to increase your knowledge as days go by. Which is a good thing, because you keep learning new and exciting things!
            [4:82]

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              #7
              Re: How has your path changed?

              I too felt a waning of interest over the years. I wonder if any of our more seasoned members have any opinions on what causes the gradual loss of interest in ritual and magic?

              For me though, I'm afraid I really get off on the excitement and wonder of belief in magic, and the feeling that I'm being dutiful by carrying out rituals. I understand that some people might find me a bit fluffy for needing that, but whether it is my immaturity, or just a spiritual need, I really can't seem to cope without it.

              It was really hard to feel my faith and interest draining away and I tried all ways to reignite it. I think that's the reason behind my change of patrons. With Brigantia and Bregans, I get to be like a noob again.. asking questions, reading books, and spending time getting to know these deities on a level that works for me. Hopefully the passion will endure, or I'll learn to grow and accept the decline. What I don't want to do, is to flit from parton to patron.. I'll get quite a reputation amongst the gods that way!
              夕方に急なにわか雨は｢夕立」と呼ばれるなら、なぜ朝ににわか雨は｢朝立ち」と呼ばれないの？ ＾＾If a sudden rain shower in the evening is referred to as an 'evening stand', then why isn't a shower in the morning called 'morning stand'?

              Comment

                #8
                Re: How has your path changed?

                Originally posted by Jembru View Post
                I too felt a waning of interest over the years. I wonder if any of our more seasoned members have any opinions on what causes the gradual loss of interest in ritual and magic?

                For me though, I'm afraid I really get off on the excitement and wonder of belief in magic, and the feeling that I'm being dutiful by carrying out rituals. I understand that some people might find me a bit fluffy for needing that, but whether it is my immaturity, or just a spiritual need, I really can't seem to cope without it.

                It was really hard to feel my faith and interest draining away and I tried all ways to reignite it. I think that's the reason behind my change of patrons. With Brigantia and Bregans, I get to be like a noob again.. asking questions, reading books, and spending time getting to know these deities on a level that works for me. Hopefully the passion will endure, or I'll learn to grow and accept the decline. What I don't want to do, is to flit from parton to patron.. I'll get quite a reputation amongst the gods that way!
                I have this problem. I used to care so so much about reading my tarot cards, and making sure I did rituals at least on the sabbats, and going out of my way to respect each sabbat and whatnot. I've never really had a deity, but I at least made efforts to commune with what I thought was the Divine, and I'd cast little spells and do chants and stuff. Read up on my herbology, and just create and be and be content with that.

                Now...I haven't cast a spell in probably two years, I haven't done a ritual in at least that long. I don't cleanse my crystals, I very rarely light the candles at my altar, and I have just a general apathetic outlook on paganism and life in general that I can't bring myself to give even the tiniest shit about spirituality. I mean, I know some of that is the result of my split from paganism to eastern religion, but now I find myself floating in some kind of abyss. I've been in a bad place in my life since I got back from Asia, and that might be the reason this bothers me at all, but...I'd like to find that spirituality again, you know?

                All I do these days is pay a passing respect to the changing of the seasons, and try not to forget everything I've ever learned about herbology. Stare at the moon in wonder sometimes. I want more.


                Mostly art.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: How has your path changed?

                  I've had this issues alot too. When I first got into Wicca, I felt like I had reached a level and wasn't going beyond that. I had read so many books, did my little spells a day, did rituals on the Sabbat... and then my interest just really stopped. I didn't care if I did a spell or not, didn't care to read about it. I started to look at my belief system over the years and realized that I had felt like this my entire life. I was raised Christian and I would go through these phases all the time. Over the last few years that I identified as a Christian, this was an ever growing issue (for a number of reasons). I was constantly feeling like "now what?" I've read the introduction books, I've studied the history of Wicca, I do my little spells...now what? I realized that for me anyway, I need something ongoing. That's why I began looking for a way to study Wicca formally. I then found an online college and began formally studying Wicca and going through the three degrees (still on my first but that's because I'm also in college for business and haven't had the time). I also started to really branch out and now I'm at the point where I want to specialize in certain areas like candle magick, herbs, reiki and tarot.
                  I think that the this is a really common issue for everyone. We reach a certain level and for various reasons, lose interest, get distracted and start feeling like we've plateaued. It's also so easy to get caught up in daily life and get distracted by the million of things we have going on or not even that, but to just develop that "apathetic" feeling that I saw someone say. For me, the only way I've managed to combat this is by constantly learning something new. When I feel like I'm just going through the motions, I look into something else. That being said--it's also totally normal to go through ups and downs in your spiritual journey. It's when you start feeling depressed, isolated and almost numb when this can be an issue. That's when you have to really look at everything in your life, figure out if something specific is causing the problem or if it's just simply a lack of connection to yourself, to your soul, to the Earth and the universe as a whole. (simply may be an understatement).

                  I don't know if that helps or adds anything to this conversation, but those are just my feelings on the matter.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: How has your path changed?

                    Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
                    All I do these days is pay a passing respect to the changing of the seasons, and try not to forget everything I've ever learned about herbology. Stare at the moon in wonder sometimes. I want more.
                    Are you sure you need more? My partner isn't religious, but he appreciates the natural world and nature. We celebrate the sabbats as a couple, and although there is no religious meaning for him, he just enjoys having an awareness of the changing seasons (or is it just the fact that we feast, drink and dance he enjoys? either way....)

                    Do you feel almost as though your soul is hungry, yet even the thought of doing anything 'spiritual' feels like a pointless chore? This is the best way I can describe how I felt for me. I sadly have no advice either. For me, it just clicked back into place one day. My ex had been so against my religion and was really mean towards me (speaking to me as if I was stupid for having beliefs, and slashing them down at any chance he had), so I think it was my new partner being so supportive, even if he thinks some things I do and believe are odd, that made me feel it is okay to start exploring again. Not that I need someone's approval, but it's nice to have encouragement.
                    夕方に急なにわか雨は｢夕立」と呼ばれるなら、なぜ朝ににわか雨は｢朝立ち」と呼ばれないの？ ＾＾If a sudden rain shower in the evening is referred to as an 'evening stand', then why isn't a shower in the morning called 'morning stand'?

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: How has your path changed?

                      I find my desire to do religious and/or spiritual things is pretty cyclical. I will attend the UU church and do witchy things for a few months, then do nothing at all for a few month, then repeat.

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                        #12
                        Re: How has your path changed?

                        I used to do a lot more formal spellcasting. I've kinda mellowed on that as time wore on and have been more focused on cobbling together rituals and understanding each holiday to the best of my ability. Mine are more solitary oriented too since I've become more misanthropic. Mine comes from getting butt hurt too many times by the Pagan communities in general for me to keep going with open arms and heart. I don't know if that answers the question of retreating...

                        I think what has kept me spiritually centered in all of this is trying to understand Ma'at from my eyes. I guess one could translate it into just finding the "flow" if that helps put some perspective.
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                        "...leave me curled up in my ball,
                        surrounded by plush, downy things,
                        ill prepared, but willing,
                        to descend."

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                          #13
                          Re: How has your path changed?

                          I almost have to laugh, looking back at my path, just at how drastically I've changed over the years, how so many things have made me uncomfortable in the past that I'm completely comfortable with now, or things that I thought were soooo important to being Pagan that don't define my beliefs at all anymore. I remember being a 13-year-old scared little Methodist who wouldn't talk to the girls in drama club once a few of them started reading Silver Ravenwolf and using their necklaces as pendulums, lol. And then in the six years since I started calling myself Pagan late in high school, I've gone from Christo-Pagan to Wicca-influenced electic Pagan and witch, to baffled polytheist who thought, "Ahhh! All these other gods are scary!" to utterly baffled about what to call myself at all to where I am now.

                          It feels like a really long journey in such a short period of time, and while I feel like I've finally found a place where I'm comfortable, I'm still open to my beliefs and practices evolving over time. I think when I was younger and new to everything, I was on information overload. I felt like I had to study EVERYTHING to be a good Pagan. I had to know about energy and magic and correspondences and crystals and every single divination technique I could find a book on, etc. etc. It got really overwhelming. And coming from a Christian background where I tried to follow all the rules to the letter, I think, at first, I was desperate for the same sort of "all-encompassing handbook to earth based religion" that just wasn't out there. It took me longer to find what worked for me, what didn't. When I finally stopped trying to do everything and just followed what interested me (and, even then, often threw the rules aside and went with my intuition on things) everything sort of settled into place.

                          I am heavily influenced by Druidism and thinking of trying out the ADF dedicant program this year, just to see what it's like. But I don't feel bad if I incorporate things that aren't Celtic into my practices. Witchcraft is still something I practice from time to time, but I consider that something that may or may not be tied into my religion, depending on the situation. The gods haven't struck me down for not celebrating most Pagan holidays (I've never been a holiday person...Christian, Pagan, secular...they're really just not my thing) and after so long I'm finally finding my own groove. It feels good.

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                            #14
                            Re: How has your path changed?

                            Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
                            I have this problem. I used to care so so much about reading my tarot cards, and making sure I did rituals at least on the sabbats, and going out of my way to respect each sabbat and whatnot. I've never really had a deity, but I at least made efforts to commune with what I thought was the Divine, and I'd cast little spells and do chants and stuff. Read up on my herbology, and just create and be and be content with that.

                            Now...I haven't cast a spell in probably two years, I haven't done a ritual in at least that long. I don't cleanse my crystals, I very rarely light the candles at my altar, and I have just a general apathetic outlook on paganism and life in general that I can't bring myself to give even the tiniest shit about spirituality. I mean, I know some of that is the result of my split from paganism to eastern religion, but now I find myself floating in some kind of abyss. I've been in a bad place in my life since I got back from Asia, and that might be the reason this bothers me at all, but...I'd like to find that spirituality again, you know?

                            All I do these days is pay a passing respect to the changing of the seasons, and try not to forget everything I've ever learned about herbology. Stare at the moon in wonder sometimes. I want more.
                            You sound like a Taoist to me. Perhaps a mix of pantheism and Taoism would bring a happy medium?
                            There once was a man who said though,
                            It seems that I know that I know,
                            What I'd like to see,
                            Is the I that knows me,
                            When I know that I know that I know.

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                              #15
                              Re: How has your path changed?

                              I have two thing to say here 1. my beliefs system changed from heavily christian, to atheist to wiccan to ecclectic paganism. All for many different reasons but my next point is more important.

                              2. alot of you are saying you have a waning interest in magic. Is it because you have plateued? Feel youve reached a place where you have learned all you want. Magic and energy is forever changing and you should change with it. To get out of your cold spot'dont go and do a sabbat you have done a hundred times before! think of what you want out of your life at the moment and go about in a different way. I was wiccan for two years until i plateued, and i started researching hoodoo. It resparked my interest! and im still going. i suggest you study one of the following.

                              1. Hoodoo (my favourite)
                              2. basic stone magic.
                              3. Alchemy
                              4. Herbalism
                              5. Different forms of divination
                              6. Traditional Witchcraft
                              etc etc

                              Have fun

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