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Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

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    Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    I've been busy comparing pagans to others, trying to figure out how we can zoom in and steal the world from them.

    I think that what we need is a set of brutally harsh moral values that we can impose on our children by indoctrinating them from an early age, and constantly beating them over the head with them until the kids are pounded into submission.

    Since we don't actually have a bunch of harsh morals, I've been busy creating them. I'm putting them into the form of little cute poems. I suggest that you read these to your kids at night....

    These are mine. If I live long enough, I'll make up pictures to go with them (until then, use your imagination).


    Please feel free to add your own. Drowning people in absurd morality is a community function.


    Don't Go Skyclad in Public
    Little Sally Ann ran
    Through the streets at Candlemas
    She'd just been to sabbath
    And forgot that she was bare ass.

    Be Kind to Fairies
    Brawny Billy Bogarty,
    Bully extra-ordinary.
    Pulled a fast one on a wee one
    Which was a really stupid thing to do, when you stop and think about it.

    Be Careful With Your Spell Work
    Sinister Sylvi Savage found
    An ancient spell of great renown,
    And called up an unpronouncable one
    To whom she reluctantly bore a son...

    Don't Work Naughty Magic
    Randy Reginald Rebus knew
    A spell to turn sex to glue
    Maybe it wasn't wise to do -
    Because 1 + 1 should equal 2.

    Don't Litter
    Untidy Linda Lukrappas loved
    To toss her crap upon the grass
    But the grass has had enough of that;
    Now the crap is back up Linda's ass.
    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.


    #2
    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Respect Every God
    Grecian Ginny Grindle
    Only bowed to Zues
    And when her friends said,
    Hail Mary the Virgin!
    Ginny's chuckles broke loose
    But when Ginny was grown
    Hera would not fill her womb
    For Hera and Mary, full of grace
    Had tea together every noon

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

      Originally posted by Siloh View Post
      Respect Every God
      Grecian Ginny Grindle
      Only bowed to Zues
      And when her friends said,
      Hail Mary the Virgin!
      Ginny's chuckles broke loose
      But when Ginny was grown
      Hera would not fill her womb
      For Hera and Mary, full of grace
      Had tea together every noon
      LOL - I was hunting around for a way to do a "respect all gods" thing. Nice!
      Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

        ZOMG! I love it guys!

        ummm...how about...


        Making Friends with Trees is OK, Making Love with Them is Not

        Yoni and Yasmine met a Yew
        And laid their hands upon it
        Yasmine gave but a hug
        And was befriended with its spirit
        But Yoni became quite untoward
        Getting stuck like a nail in a board
        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
        sigpic

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

          LMAO - you have a dirty mind, Thalassa. I like that, because I do too.

          Suggestion, though? Change the names to Linga and Yoni. Linga's the one who gets stuck...

          ---------- Post added at 10:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 AM ----------

          Don't Eat Meat
          Massive Eddy Endomorph
          When eating beans is fine,
          But burgers, dogs, and roasted prime
          Bring runaway physical inflation -
          Big time.
          Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

            This relies on an illustration. Is there an artist in the house?

            Mind Your Karma

            Little witch Wenda
            Loved to cast her spells
            And when Teacher gave a bad grade
            Little Wenda promised hell

            She conjured a curse to harm
            And it was answered by a bee
            Teacher was stung and hurting
            But--poor little Wenda!--
            She forgot the Law of Three

            *Illustration of young witch pursued by three wasps*

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

              Don't Be a Glutton

              Sometimes it's good to clean your plate
              But if it's plate three it ain't
              Those who only feed the gut
              Starve the soul's hut

              Yep, I've been reading the Teachings of Ptahhotep a little too much.
              my etsy store
              My blog


              "...leave me curled up in my ball,
              surrounded by plush, downy things,
              ill prepared, but willing,
              to descend."

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                Pay attention to mythology
                (totally ganked from Cole Porter's "Brush up your Shakespeare")

                Read Your Mythology
                Start knowing it now
                Read Your Mythology
                And the gods you can wow.

                Just proclaim a few lines 'bout Athena
                And she'll think you're a not a has-been-a
                If Venus won't respond when you flatter 'er
                Gift her things you think might matter t'her

                For an ill-favored wife Zeus
                Try an ode making him look like a goose
                If you court the favor of the gods
                Make an offering of which they'll be fond.

                Read Your Mythology
                Start knowing it now
                Read Your Mythology
                And the gods you will wow.
                Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                sigpic

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                  Know When to Speak

                  Sometimes we need to ramble, tattle, or yell
                  Or have a secret we must tell,
                  But hold your tongue and speak with care
                  Because not all words we must share

                  If you discover a talking fool
                  Silence here is a good tool
                  Talkative fools only cry
                  A silent man with words is sly

                  A gossip we all can be;
                  Beware of sharing openly
                  Words on wind are hard to cease
                  But words wisely kept do please

                  If you know or witness crime
                  Then to speak it's time
                  Justice should prevail
                  And needs an honest tale

                  If to you someone's unjust
                  And feel to speak you must
                  Find a figure of authority
                  and air your grievance accordingly

                  When we serve as counsel
                  Be it friend, foe, great, or small
                  Say only what's needed
                  So nothing gets heated

                  If this wisdom you follow
                  You will know less sorrow
                  Many will call you wise
                  Few your name will despise
                  my etsy store
                  My blog


                  "...leave me curled up in my ball,
                  surrounded by plush, downy things,
                  ill prepared, but willing,
                  to descend."

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                    Just look what you have started Corbin,the word is out,lets rhyme and shout..
                    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                    sigpic

                    my new page here,let me know what you think.


                    nothing but the shadow of what was

                    witchvox
                    http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                      Beautiful, Caelia.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                        You are all crazy! I appreciate that in people. Applause all around.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                          Originally posted by Siloh View Post
                          Beautiful, Caelia.
                          Thank you I will admit my humor has been really off lately...
                          my etsy store
                          My blog


                          "...leave me curled up in my ball,
                          surrounded by plush, downy things,
                          ill prepared, but willing,
                          to descend."

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                            Originally posted by Miranda View Post
                            You are all crazy! I appreciate that in people. Applause all around.
                            Now if we can talk somebody into doing pictures, we have a book...
                            Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

                              Don't look at me unless you like your pictures abstracted in fabric and found objects.

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