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Thread: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

  1. #1
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    I've been busy comparing pagans to others, trying to figure out how we can zoom in and steal the world from them.

    I think that what we need is a set of brutally harsh moral values that we can impose on our children by indoctrinating them from an early age, and constantly beating them over the head with them until the kids are pounded into submission.

    Since we don't actually have a bunch of harsh morals, I've been busy creating them. I'm putting them into the form of little cute poems. I suggest that you read these to your kids at night....

    These are mine. If I live long enough, I'll make up pictures to go with them (until then, use your imagination).


    Please feel free to add your own. Drowning people in absurd morality is a community function.


    Don't Go Skyclad in Public
    Little Sally Ann ran
    Through the streets at Candlemas
    She'd just been to sabbath
    And forgot that she was bare ass.

    Be Kind to Fairies
    Brawny Billy Bogarty,
    Bully extra-ordinary.
    Pulled a fast one on a wee one
    Which was a really stupid thing to do, when you stop and think about it.

    Be Careful With Your Spell Work
    Sinister Sylvi Savage found
    An ancient spell of great renown,
    And called up an unpronouncable one
    To whom she reluctantly bore a son...

    Don't Work Naughty Magic
    Randy Reginald Rebus knew
    A spell to turn sex to glue
    Maybe it wasn't wise to do -
    Because 1 + 1 should equal 2.

    Don't Litter
    Untidy Linda Lukrappas loved
    To toss her crap upon the grass
    But the grass has had enough of that;
    Now the crap is back up Linda's ass.
    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

  2. #2
    Sr. Member Siloh's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Respect Every God
    Grecian Ginny Grindle
    Only bowed to Zues
    And when her friends said,
    Hail Mary the Virgin!
    Ginny's chuckles broke loose
    But when Ginny was grown
    Hera would not fill her womb
    For Hera and Mary, full of grace
    Had tea together every noon

  3. #3
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Quote Originally Posted by Siloh View Post
    Respect Every God
    Grecian Ginny Grindle
    Only bowed to Zues
    And when her friends said,
    Hail Mary the Virgin!
    Ginny's chuckles broke loose
    But when Ginny was grown
    Hera would not fill her womb
    For Hera and Mary, full of grace
    Had tea together every noon
    LOL - I was hunting around for a way to do a "respect all gods" thing. Nice!
    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

  4. #4
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    ZOMG! I love it guys!

    ummm...how about...


    Making Friends with Trees is OK, Making Love with Them is Not

    Yoni and Yasmine met a Yew
    And laid their hands upon it
    Yasmine gave but a hug
    And was befriended with its spirit
    But Yoni became quite untoward
    Getting stuck like a nail in a board
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  5. #5
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    LMAO - you have a dirty mind, Thalassa. I like that, because I do too.

    Suggestion, though? Change the names to Linga and Yoni. Linga's the one who gets stuck...

    ---------- Post added at 10:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 AM ----------

    Don't Eat Meat
    Massive Eddy Endomorph
    When eating beans is fine,
    But burgers, dogs, and roasted prime
    Bring runaway physical inflation -
    Big time.
    Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

  6. #6
    Sr. Member Siloh's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    This relies on an illustration. Is there an artist in the house?

    Mind Your Karma

    Little witch Wenda
    Loved to cast her spells
    And when Teacher gave a bad grade
    Little Wenda promised hell

    She conjured a curse to harm
    And it was answered by a bee
    Teacher was stung and hurting
    But--poor little Wenda!--
    She forgot the Law of Three

    *Illustration of young witch pursued by three wasps*

  7. #7
    Silver Member Caelia's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Don't Be a Glutton

    Sometimes it's good to clean your plate
    But if it's plate three it ain't
    Those who only feed the gut
    Starve the soul's hut

    Yep, I've been reading the Teachings of Ptahhotep a little too much.
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  8. #8
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Pay attention to mythology
    (totally ganked from Cole Porter's "Brush up your Shakespeare")

    Read Your Mythology
    Start knowing it now
    Read Your Mythology
    And the gods you can wow.

    Just proclaim a few lines 'bout Athena
    And she'll think you're a not a has-been-a
    If Venus won't respond when you flatter 'er
    Gift her things you think might matter t'her

    For an ill-favored wife Zeus
    Try an ode making him look like a goose
    If you court the favor of the gods
    Make an offering of which they'll be fond.

    Read Your Mythology
    Start knowing it now
    Read Your Mythology
    And the gods you will wow.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  9. #9
    Silver Member Caelia's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Know When to Speak

    Sometimes we need to ramble, tattle, or yell
    Or have a secret we must tell,
    But hold your tongue and speak with care
    Because not all words we must share

    If you discover a talking fool
    Silence here is a good tool
    Talkative fools only cry
    A silent man with words is sly

    A gossip we all can be;
    Beware of sharing openly
    Words on wind are hard to cease
    But words wisely kept do please

    If you know or witness crime
    Then to speak it's time
    Justice should prevail
    And needs an honest tale

    If to you someone's unjust
    And feel to speak you must
    Find a figure of authority
    and air your grievance accordingly

    When we serve as counsel
    Be it friend, foe, great, or small
    Say only what's needed
    So nothing gets heated

    If this wisdom you follow
    You will know less sorrow
    Many will call you wise
    Few your name will despise
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    to descend."

  10. #10
    Live and learn anunitu's Avatar
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    Re: Pagans need harsh values to teach their children

    Just look what you have started Corbin,the word is out,lets rhyme and shout..
    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




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