Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

[Ophidia]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

If I was of child-bearing nature, I say yes. My mother & dad didn't prevent me from playing with 'boy toys' - my dad was a trucker & worked around construction sites, so that's what I was exposed to. Rough-talking men with big toys who played in the dirt. Of course I wanted Tonka toys more than baby dolls!. I was also a 'daddy's little girl'. I was just as happy to play dress-up as I was running around in shorts and t-shirts.

Kids change their minds a lot. If a little boy wants to play w/Barbies and dress in skirts for a few months, chances are he'll want to play with something else & dress like a cowboy or alien or something else that grabs his attention. Feeling that they are the opposite sex may last their whole lifetime, or it may not.

I think in most cases, though, it's easier society-and-school-wise if it's a girl. Girls can be tomboys and not get griefed too much. It's acceptable (and usually expected) for girls to wear pants and shirts. A teacher's not going to lose it if a girl comes in to class wearing jeans (unless it's a uniform school). I think I'd probably encourage a son to choose utilikilts over girly-girly skirts. I'd also have advance meetings w/school staff and neighboring parents, too. It helps ease into things than just suddenly unleashing a 5-year old RuPaul on the local community.

[Jembru]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

I'm also not the maternal type, but I once wrote a story about a girl who had, from a young age, lived as a boy. Gender lines are blurred for me anyway. I don't even consider myself bisexual, even though I guess I am, because for me, I just love people for their personalities regardless of gender, and 'bisexual' puts too much emphasis on gender. I used to be very boyish and wore only male clothes, yet now I'm over-the-top girly and wear 'doll' clothes. Despite being sickly girly, I am characteristically the 'man' in my relationship: and always like to be. So when I date men, they are always effeminate, but not because I prefer feminine, I just need to be with someone I can take care of.

But I digress, due to the above, I suppose I would have no issue at all if my son asked to wear dresses. However, I wouldn't allow surgery until they were old enough not to need my consent (at which time, I would support them all the way). Why? Because until they are old enough, it is MY responsibility if the decision was a mistake. They won't be allowed tattoos for the same reason (although I'd probably be secretely proud if they were bold enough to go ahead and get on in spite of me). After that, it is their right as an adult, to make mistakes, even massive life altering ones.

[Peri_Dot]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

Yes, I would.

[Lokabrenna]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

Yes, no ifs, ands, or buts.

[ChainLightning]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

Ugh. Even though we're talking about a child, I STILL have a shitload of trouble with that word 'allow'. To answer the question though? In depth. When a child reaches the legal age of 'adulthood' they make their own decisions - the most I can do is give advice. A 5 year old? My idealism dictates that the child is well within social expectations and can have what they want, at least some of the time, even in terms of so called 'gender specific' toys, clothes or whatever. When I was 5, I wanted to be a cat - and be fed out of a bowl, sans utensils.

My reality, of course, is that I'd have to be faced with those exact circumstances where I *need* to make the decision because a child of mine was facing this dilemma. I know what I WANT to do, I have no clue what I WOULD do... circumstances might dictate something like a compromise, for instance.

[Dumuzi]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

Hmmm, that's actually a really complicated question that I can't answer with yes or no. Whatever way I deal with this issue though, their happiness and well being would be my number one priority.

[Dez]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

I'd struggle with that one. I don't think I can honestly say what I'd do, unless the circumstance presented itself. There's a difference, though, between fitting gender norms(or not) and identifying as the opposite gender.

My son has an older sister, so he dresses up in her dress ups sometimes, plays with her dollies or toy kitchen, or sees me putting nail polish on her nails and wants to wear it, too. I get hassled about how relaxed I am about that sort of thing by family, since most of them have the same extremely strict gender roles I was raised in( little boys not being allowed to play with dolls, my 8 month old niece already being constantly told what a good mommy she'll be and having everything positive labeled "pretty"). Massive discomfort that my daughter loves superheroes, too.

There's a difference between that sort of nonconformist streak, and a child who is potentially going to grow up and identify as transgender. If my son insisted he was a girl when asked? He's definitely old enough to know the difference, now. I have no idea what I'd do, but I would try very hard to not shame him if he showed that much determination about something, whatever it was.

[Roknrol]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

Depends on the child and the age of the child. My son has made plenty of decisions that he's regretted later. Now, at 17 years old he's old enough to listen to reason. As long as he were willing to listen to the risks associated (as well as recognize the possibility that it's a "bad" decision) I'd be ok with it.

[Medusa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

To those replying with the answer, yes I would let them dress as the opposite etc..I want to reiterate I wasn't saying 'dress as the opposite sex'. I was stating 'live as the opposite sex'. As in wanting to be dressed in the opposite sex clothing. Wanting to be referred to as an opposite sex name. Wanting to use the opposite sex bathroom. Etc Etc. This isn't about cross dressing or about having different gender desires then those normally ascribed to the sex of the child. And with that a follow up question. Would you then alter their growing into puberty by offering hormones to stunt the born gender and start pushing on the opposite gender growth? Or would you make them wait until they are of legal age to do that?

[Peri_Dot]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

To those replying with the answer, yes I would let them dress as the opposite etc..I want to reiterate I wasn't saying 'dress as the opposite sex'. I was stating 'live as the opposite sex'. As in wanting to be dressed in the opposite sex clothing. Wanting to be referred to as an opposite sex name. Wanting to use the opposite sex bathroom. Etc Etc. This isn't about cross dressing or about having different gender desires then those normally ascribed to the sex of the child.

Yes, I would let them live as the "opposite" gender.

And with that a follow up question. Would you then alter their growing into puberty by offering hormones to stunt the born gender and start pushing on the opposite gender growth? Or would you make them wait until they are of legal age to do that?

I'm not positive, but I think children are given hormone-blockers to suppress puberty until they are of an age to decide. I would have to see what the negative effects would be before deciding. All of this is irrelevant, though, since I won't be having kids.

[MaskedOne]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you then alter their growing into puberty by offering hormones to stunt the born gender and start pushing on the opposite gender growth? Or would you make them wait until they are of legal age to do that?

Not a chance in hell. There are a number of issues attached to this question that are less important to me and where I could be somewhat flexible depending on circumstances but hormone treatments and other medical lead-ups to gender re-assignment don't happen till the kid is an adult. After 18, I'll honor whatever choice they make on the issue but certain options are not available till 18. This is one of them.

[Ophidia]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Yes, I would let them live as the "opposite" gender. I'm not positive, but I think children are given hormone-blockers to suppress puberty until they are of an age to decide.

Huh, they sure do: Buying Time for Gender-Confused Kids

I would definitely be more willing to let a child have hormonal therapy like this than try for actual gender reassignment. Letting a kid act how they want to be is one thing - making it permanent is another. It smacks more of genital mutilation than helping a kid make a healthy lifestyle decision for themself. I just think about all the horror stories on kids born hermaphroditic where the doctors and parents decide to remove one or the other set of genitals, usually while the child is still a baby or toddler. For the record, I also don't support ear piercing (or any piercing/branding/tattooing) or circumcision in infants. I don't think a child under a certain age can fully grasp all the implications of asking for permanent gender reassignment. Granted, starting early would probably weed out a lot of complications associated w/the surgeries and therapies involved, but what if as a mature person they change their mind? At that point, wouldn't it be even harder to reverse everything? A girl becomes a man, and then when she gets older decides she wants to have a baby herself, not via adoption or surrogate mother? I fought for years to get a hysterectomy & no doctor would do it because 'I might change my mind and then sue them' (and I even had a doctor suggest a sex-change therapy if I was that dead set on not having kids because it would be easier for me to become a man than a uterus-free woman).

[ChainLightning]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

To those replying with the answer, yes I would let them dress as the opposite etc..I want to reiterate I wasn't saying 'dress as the opposite sex'. I was stating 'live as the opposite sex'. As in wanting to be dressed in the opposite sex clothing. Wanting to be referred to as an opposite sex name. Wanting to use the opposite sex bathroom. Etc Etc. This isn't about cross dressing or about having different gender desires then those normally ascribed to the sex of the child. And with that a follow up question. Would you then alter their growing into puberty by offering hormones to stunt the born gender and start pushing on the opposite gender growth? Or would you make them wait until they are of legal age to do that?

Even getting more specific, not just clothes and a name, for instance, but changing genders at an early age (until physically capable of having surgeries, perhaps)...

My answer is still the same. I know what I would *like* to do, for the individualism, the freedom and the idealism, but in the end? I just don't know what I would do until it were to happen. Reality very often conflicts with my ideals.

[Medusa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Even getting more specific, not just clothes and a name, for instance, but changing genders at an early age (until physically capable of having surgeries, perhaps)...

My answer is still the same. I know what I would *like* to do, for the individualism, the freedom and the idealism, but in the end? I just don't know what I would do until it were to happen. Reality very often conflicts with my ideals.

Yeah that's pretty much my answer too. Though I think I am still responsible for them until 18. And I am responsible for their health and medical issues. I would lean on waiting till they are of an adult age to either become who they think they truly are, or to completely f it all up. It will be on them. But as a legal guardian, I won't be giving hormones to switch them over. They will just have to buck it up like the rest of the older generation of transgenders and wait till they are adults.

[Raphaeline]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the Quetzalcoatl Apocalypse version!)

Would you allow your child to live as the opposite sex because they feel they are the opposite sex? If no, is there an age you would allow it?

Yes; I don't see any problem with it. Regardless of whether or not it is their permanent decision, I see no reason to keep them from it.

Depends on the child and the age of the child. My son has made plenty of decisions that he's regretted later. Now, at 17 years old he's old enough to listen to reason. As long as he were willing to listen to the risks associated (as well as recognize the possibility that it's a "bad" decision) I'd be ok with it.

Regret is how we learn to discover possibly consequences before acting - as long as it's not something that couldn't be reversed (for instance, he or she could revert back to using their given name, dressing as their original gender, etc.), I'm okay with that.

Huh, they sure do: Buying Time for Gender-Confused Kids

I would definitely be more willing to let a child have hormonal therapy like this than try for actual gender reassignment. Letting a kid act how they want to be is one thing - making it permanent is another. It smacks more of genital mutilation than helping a kid make a healthy lifestyle decision for themself. I just think about all the horror stories on kids born hermaphroditic where the doctors and parents decide to remove one or the other set of genitals, usually while the child is still a baby or toddler. For the record, I also don't support ear piercing (or any piercing/branding/tattooing) or circumcision in infants. I don't think a child under a certain age can fully grasp all the implications of asking for permanent gender reassignment. Granted, starting early would probably weed out a lot of complications associated w/the surgeries and therapies involved, but what if as a mature person they change their mind? At that point, wouldn't it be even harder to reverse everything? A girl becomes a man, and then when she gets older decides she wants to have a baby herself, not via adoption or surrogate mother? I fought for years to get a hysterectomy & no doctor would do it because 'I might change my mind and then sue them' (and I even had a doctor suggest a sex-change therapy if I was that dead set on not having kids because it would be easier for me to become a man than a uterus-free woman).

I don't know how I feel about hormone therapy at a young age, even if it's just suppressing natural hormones. I think I would rather hold off on that until they were older and sure of their decision - until then, there are plenty of ways to appear as the opposite sex, not limited to clothing. But truthfully, if it was tearing them up inside to wait, I would consider allowing suppressing natural development until they came of age to make the choice for himself or herself.