So I've been feeling drawn to work as a police officer for quite some time. (It's amusing that I've only recently put the connection between the calling and the fact that Athena is my patron.) Crossing pantheons a bit, I actually had an experience with The Morrigan today that left me feeling that I know I could use a gun if I had to (All of this was found from a conversation, so nothing bad actually happened). Before, I didn't think I could, but I know I could now.
I'm just afraid of it. And not the violence of the police world or anything, but actually potentially ending someone's life. It scares me to no end to do it willingly, though I feel called to this line of work. I feel like I could make a difference. I intend to eventually work up to homicide when I do enter the force. And I'm going to use the practice of magic to help me. I also think that the police force needs more pagan representation. I have all of these good reasons, and I feel it would be very fulfilling.
But that being said, I'm still afraid. What do you guys think? I think it's a healthy fear, and I have a little over a year before I join if and when I do. It just makes me unsure.
I'm just afraid of it. And not the violence of the police world or anything, but actually potentially ending someone's life. It scares me to no end to do it willingly, though I feel called to this line of work. I feel like I could make a difference. I intend to eventually work up to homicide when I do enter the force. And I'm going to use the practice of magic to help me. I also think that the police force needs more pagan representation. I have all of these good reasons, and I feel it would be very fulfilling.
But that being said, I'm still afraid. What do you guys think? I think it's a healthy fear, and I have a little over a year before I join if and when I do. It just makes me unsure.
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