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Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

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    Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

    Ok, so I didn't choose the fight, but nevertheless I'm in it.

    Recently I haven't been around much (But I've been on Facebook a bit, thanks to my now dead phone) and that's because I've been being treated for anorexia. I'm basically at the stage where my doctors have said that they don't need me in there as much as they did, and I can come home for longer periods of time.

    This is one of the hardest fights I've ever been in, excluding my depression, and I could really do with some advice on how to beat this thing, properly this time.

    Anything would be very helpful.

    Thankyou all <3
    "Otwarty świat; rany zamknięte."
    - Open world; Wounds closed.

    #2
    Re: Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

    *hugs*

    Prayers are on the way...
    my etsy store
    My blog


    "...leave me curled up in my ball,
    surrounded by plush, downy things,
    ill prepared, but willing,
    to descend."

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      #3
      Re: Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

      Thankyou (again lol) <3
      "Otwarty świat; rany zamknięte."
      - Open world; Wounds closed.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

        Awww hun, I'm sorry to hear that. Prayers are with you

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          #5
          Re: Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

          Even though I was bulimic, here is what I found helped me for a bit. When it comes to healing don't focus on the food part at all. This is especially hard when it comes to holisitic healing from my experience. Also focus on other ways to define yourself that don't involve your physical appearance. Understand that you also can't seek external validation, then again that was part of my bulimia so it may be different for you.
          my etsy store
          My blog


          "...leave me curled up in my ball,
          surrounded by plush, downy things,
          ill prepared, but willing,
          to descend."

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

            Success and fortune to you.
            life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

            Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

            "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

            John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

            "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

            Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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              #7
              Re: Smart kid picked a fight with an eating disorder

              Originally posted by Caelia View Post
              Even though I was bulimic, here is what I found helped me for a bit. When it comes to healing don't focus on the food part at all. This is especially hard when it comes to holisitic healing from my experience. Also focus on other ways to define yourself that don't involve your physical appearance. Understand that you also can't seek external validation, then again that was part of my bulimia so it may be different for you.
              This is one of the ways I deal with it. I also won't associate socially with other ED sufferers because they just encourage my own behaviour (even if they don't mean to). It helps if you know the cause: what it is that makes you feel you need to control food, or your weight. Then you have a good starting point to look for other ways to achieve the outcome the eating disorder is attempting to create. For example, for me, it isn't about looking like the super thin models or movie stars. Mine began with a pony called Sandy. I was out-growing him and it broke my heart. He could only carry 7 stone 7 max. So I stopped eating and worked out all the time so I could stay under seven stone and thus never have to stop riding my beloved pony.

              Sandy was an old pony and retired, and I never rode with the same enthusiasm again. BUT the signal was implanted into my brain to never be over 7st 7 (infact, I prefer to be less than 7).

              I hate my stumpy little thighs, which just makes the problem worse, but psychologically, the ED is now an avoidance of becoming 'adult' in my case. What helps me then, is that I dress overly childish for my age. I draw attention to myself in my pretty bows and plastic Hello Kitty jewellry, but it achieves the same outcome as being skinny would, and thus lessens the need to be too thin. Although I have tough times and I've skrewed up my metabolism for good, I have learnt to live with my ED and not let it dominate my life.

              The fact that my main trigger is needing to be child-like, also means I have a terribkle fear of what I'm doing to my looks by starving. Especially as you get older, you see premature ageing with ED and although it's not always easy to implement, I DO think a youthful healthy face is worth more, looks-wise, than boney arms.

              Another thing that helps me, is thinking of JP (anyone you really love and care about could take this role), and imagine him hearing the news that I've died from organ failure. I imagine how I'd feel if it were me watching him dying slowing on a hospital bed (I've seen it in my dad's wife, who died in a similar way due to alcoholism, and saw what it did to my family). It's horrible to say, but ED are selfish disorders. Not only do they harm you, but everyone around you. I tell myself over and over, to put others first, even if it means getting what I consider to be 'fat'. Then I throw on my frilly dress and balarina shoes, stick my cat ears on my head, and twirl around the livingroom being the most fabulous, cute, fun and precious little creature I can be!

              I wish you the very best. Recovery IS possible, but take it slowly and experiment until you find what is right for you! I was 12 when this started and I turn 30 this year. I've had ED-free years, and I have times where I get so low I start to purge (I'm mainly anorexic but when I am low, what little I do eat comes back up..) but overall I am coping well and am a naturally cheerful, energetic and giggly young lady!

              Oh I just remembered something else. Those of us vulnerable to eating disorders often have obsessive personalities. It therefore helps me that I induldge in other less harmful obsessive behaviour. This is why I am so diligently studying Japanese. By giving myself a (probably unrealistic) goal and deadline, I have forced myself to put in 8 hours of study a week, because I won't succeed if I drop below this level of effort. This gives me something to focus on, plan for and obsess over. Having language goals and hitting them, gives me the same rush as standing on the scales and seeing another few pounds have vanished!

              Being vaguely conversational in a popular/fashionable but rather difficult language, also gives me something I can be proud of, that isn't how stick-like I look. I like to think most people (with the exception of a lot of other Japanese learners for some reason: they're a jealous, possessive bunch!) have more respect for me for my efforts, than they would if I were thin!
              Last edited by Jembru; 22 Jun 2012, 14:40.
              夕方に急なにわか雨は「夕立」と呼ばれるなら、なぜ朝ににわか雨は「朝立ち」と呼ばれないの? ^^If a sudden rain shower in the evening is referred to as an 'evening stand', then why isn't a shower in the morning called 'morning stand'?

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